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theJEDMAN NATION-A New Wave Manifesto

Documenting the JED Experience

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Those are my feet. I'm at a pool in the East Cape town of Los Barilles. At this point the pool was pretty much all mine that is until the rest of the Americanos got back from fishing. It was a relaxing day in Los Cabos far from the action of San Lucas. We took a narrow winding road through the desert past skinny cows eating brush. It was hot. The pool was cooler and the margaritas de fresa were the coolest. I was taken on many missions to the East Cape this trip. One was through the desert on a dusty bumpy road in intense heat. We made it to the coast in the dustiest little town I had ever seen. There was a guy with a trailer out there just sitting under the palapa that he created over his trailer into a little patio. If you wanted isolation, It was there. The problem with this location was the surf was a little rough. I didn't want to get swept away in the rip. I was scared, but I have fond memories of this trip which is good since the breaks on the car worked significantly less well on the way back to San Jose. There are all kinds of places to live in the East Cape. There are palaces and there are just four walls and a roof. I remember this one palace by the beach in Ribera, East Cape. It was pink and huge.

Well, I made my 5 trip to the end of the world. I stayed this time in San Jose del Cabo down the street from the governor of Baja California Sur. C's accomodations were great this time. They were far above those of the cave last year. I had bathroom, AC, Internet, laundry, plants, hose, car washing responsibilities, trash take out responsibilities and cooking detail. Lets break into the highlights of the fabulous trip. There are lots of dogs in Mexico on the streets. I'm guessing not all of them are stray they just hang out and not get fed a lot by there owners. They seem to have no fear of cars. Also, there are speed bumps everywhere, including on the highway. They slow people down, but they are annoying after awhile. I was a passenger going over a speed bump in San Jose when on the side walk was a cow eating out of a trash can. We just don't get scenes like that in the joco. I went to a party and had the best black beans ever served in the history of the word. I love black beans and these were the best ever. I didn't the moonwalk at another party I attended. I attended another party at a guys house with a stone henge replica that would have been crushed by a dwarf. I ate a hot dog and parts of two hamburgers very late at night in downtown San Jose. I saw a rehearsal of Jesus Cristo Superstar in beautiful downtown San Jose. I won a Sol cooler bad from the Beer girl at the Mega Supermarket in San Jose. I went on a lovely night out with C to San Lucas dining at Senor Sweets and hitting Rips, Squid Roe and Cabo Wabo, The Nowhere Bar was absent, but C looked very nice.

I rode a plane from San Jose to Mexico City and was served modelo in lata the best ever on the plane and no additional charge. I rode in a taxi fast through the streets of Mexico City to the bus station with no seat belt. It was scary and awesome at the same time as 6 cars commanded only 4 lanes on the street. Lanes don't really exist in most of Mexico. I took the bus from Mexico City to Poza Rica and then to Tuxpan, Vera Cruz. I went to a very nice party that allowed me to say some very profound words and eat some green salsa that literary burned my touncils out. I road a small boat across the river to the to view the Cuba Mexico Friendship Museum. It was very small, but there were lots of pictures of Fidel Castro looking young. I toured the market in Tuxpan and drank a fruit drink in the plaza. I dined on eggs and black beans several times. This seams to be an excellent comination. I ate the best fish ever on a dock restaurant by the lagoon in Tuxpan. The grouper fish was awesome buried in garlic. I felt great after eating that. Eating good food really makes a different in the way I feel as I get older. I rode fast from Tuxpan up the highway 3 hours to Tampico. There were lots of sights to see and passing other cars was always exciting. J my driver was great. When we got to Tampico, we headed straight for the beach were his friends were. He pulled up and 5 chicas came over immediately to give him a hug. That was amazing. I got to talk to some Tampico Cable Guys as they installed the cable into J's house. I rode another small boat acrosst the river fromt he Pemex oil plant to eat some fine shellfish and other types fish with J and his buddies. We ate like kings and more beer choices were discovered in Mexico. Victoria, Indio, and Bohemia are very good choices that I had never experiencd before.

In June 2009, I did some East Bay living on Montgomery Street. Every morning, I bucked the Starbuck's trend and hit Gaylord's across the street for some coffee. Gaylord's is were the cool people hang on Piedmont Avenue. I went for the egg bagel at the Posh Bagel. It was good every time. I felt like a real East Bayer. We headed up the coast. Brentwood, Oswego and I first did some time in Ukiah. Then, we spent one glorious week at the Bite My Hook Lodge on the Smith River in Gasquette, California down the road from Crescent City. The lodge had a huge deck with a grill. I cooked everynight on the grill. I cooked things like fish, shrimp, corn, zuchinni, potatoes, veggie dogs, etc. We did some hiking up and around the big trees. Oswego drives a stick shift now. He drives well. I only get scared sometimes like high in the mountains on a gravel road when I look out the window and it is straight down.

.: posted by Jed 8:52 PM

Monday, December 29, 2008

I am probably the worst blogger ever. I have not written squat in a few months. I'm living in uninteresting times. I don't do a lot. I do go out and meet people from time to time, but these instances are usually the same. I'm surprised that I have not been kicked off this blog site for being the worst blogger ever.
I did do some time in the hospital in September. I was only there a day. It is not much fun going there. It wasn't anything cosmetic. I just had to go in and do some maintenance. I would never do any elective cosmetic surgery just because of having to be there at the hospital. Besides looking at me, no one would ever think that I would need that type of surgery. Anyway, I don't remember too much of the actual event. I did have to hang out for awhile down in the OR. I complained a lot. The doctors and nurses like me when I complain a lot. I think. I got them to play music for me while we waited for some anaesthesiologist to show up. They put me out. The next thing I new, I woke up in some room with a lot of other people. It must be the post op room. This is the worst part. They hook you up to the IV. They pump you full of fluid for hours. Then, you wake up and have to use the bathroom and you aren't allowed to move. You tell the nurses what you need to do and they just give you a plastic jar. So, I was laying on my back not being able to move and I have to use the jar in front of hundreds of people. It is the worst thing ever. I filled up the jar, but I had to look at it to see if anything was in there. It is tough. Also, this time I had both parents there. I had two people hanging out concerned and bored asking questions. The hospital is a good reason to stay healthy. I want to avoid the hospital at all costs.

Speaking of being healthy, I have been eating a lot of Cheerios lately. At work, I was close to a vending machine. I found myself eating a lot of chips. I decided that this was stupid. So, I bought a box of Cheerios and I started eating them instead. Cheerios are good. Cheerios make you feel good. I usually pound oatmeal in the morning and then during the day, I eat a couple of cups of Cheerios. Cheerios clean you out and makes things work better. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and my insides feel good. Plus, my stomach feels flat. It doesn't look flat, it just feels flat. I think Cheerios are pretty good for you. Also, last fall I had to switch medicine for my condition. The new medicine gives me a little reflux. The $30 copay stuff at the drug store seems to help more this time than when I had this trouble several years ago, but the Cheerios help more, so much so that I haven't taken the reflux meds in a few weeks. I hope this keeps up like this, but it would be bad to not take the drugs from the drug companies for my ailments. That would be almost un american not to be on prescription drugs. It might hurt the economy more. I hope I don't get in trouble for this.

Speaking of being healthy, I went to a New Year's Eve party. It was at these friends of my in midtown. They are arty types and they don't have a TV. The had some good vegetarian food there with heavy doses of beans. It was good. It was very good. I like vegetarian food. It makes you feel light and happy with the absense of ground beef. but I'm smart enough know that I live in the midwest where the cows live. Eating cow is the law here. I like hamburgers, but I'd eat more vegetarian food with beans if it was more readily available. The party of good. It reminded me of parties I went to in college with arty types that didn't have a TV. There was recorded music and live music. Jerry Garcia would have been proud all except for the non-cow stuff.

.: posted by Jed 5:50 PM

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

I'm writing this section on dinner parties on Labor Day so don't let the post date fool you. Recently on consecutive weekends I went to dinner parties. PARTY I The first one was at a midtown location of some work people. This was my second invite to this location. I took a 12 pack of beverages. The host made some nice colon friendly veggie lasagna with salad and good bread. It was very nice. The last time I was there the meal was very good as well. I love going to a party where people make fresh food that is good for you. I don't like parties where the food is from big containers purchased at Sam's Club. These people were arty types so they didn't have a TV. We couldn't watch the Chiefs game or the Olympics. So, we listened to music and talked. Imagine talking. I can talk. Sometimes I talk real well. It was a cool August evening so we sat outside in the back yard. There were other people there besides work people so the shop talk was kept at a minimum. These arty types smoked, but at least they have sense to smoke outside. They have figured out how to banish themselves to the great out doors. Just d0n't do anything that Smokey the Beer wouldn't be proud of. I enjoyed this party. PARTY II The next weekend I went to another dinner party at a suburan location. We ate colon enemy red meat. I grilled big T-bones steaks on the grill. In fact, you might as well call me T-bone. I love cooking on the grill. Invite me to your party and I will cook on the grill for the party for you. I can cook dead meat and vegetables. I can handle hundreds of people. This party was good. I can take or leave the steak. I like it, but it is not the end all with me. Unless it is really good high quality cut, I'd rather eat something else. These T-bones were just OK. The fire was not hot enough to really sear them. There was good salad and bread. Good salad is important. This place always has outstanding salad. ISSUE I There was another Chiefs game on, but we were not allowed to watch it during dinner. After dinner we had to watch it on Tivo. I hate watching the game on Tivo. I'd rather watch it live with commercials. The host had some problems fast forwarding through the commercials once. He went too far on fast foward and it was touchdown Miami. Then again it was touchdown Miami. It was like foreshadowing, but we saw it for real in fast motion. So, I kind of new what was going to happen. ISSUE II The host had a beer fridge in his basement. We ate upstairs. So, he had a cooler of beverages upstairs during dinner. There was no ice in the cooler. Later, the cooler made it downstairs, still with not ice. It sat around while we were watching the game. The host decided to load the cooler back into the fridge. He asked me if I wanted another beverage. I said yes and he popped the cap and he handed it to me. It was hot. He decided to forgo giving me a cold beverage from the fridge and instead he handed me a beverage that had been sitting in the cooler for hours with no ice. This was a major beverage hosting fopa.


I think that people are bringing stuff they would not normally eat at their own home to other people's homes. This is called excessive dessert syndrome. People get invited to a party. They bring some big cake or pie or excessive amounts of soda pop. When all of this stuff comes together from many people, the party is overload with sugar. A normal party guest would have to eat a huge piece of cake, half a pie, a dozen cookies and about a liter of soda to finish all the sweets. That is enough sugar to kill a large farm animal. What happens is that the host of the part are usually left with all of these desserts once the party guests leave. Amongst the older generation there is the idea of not wasting food. Wasting food is bad because we don't have enough of it, so let's risk obesity, diabetes and heart disease to avoid wasting refined white sugar.

I've been living in the most uninteresting of times. I have not done much lately. There has not been much to do and I'm sort of at fault for not trying to do anything. I found myself watching Jon and Kate Plus Eight. It is the show with the people and the twins and sextuplets. It is funny. I'm glad I'm not there.
I've been biking lately. I got my new super prostrate friendly seat. They basically cut the nose off. I like it, I just wish I was about an inch wider. It is good. You have to balance more, but that makes you gut work more. I have been having problems. I busted a spoke the other day on a long ride to Olathe. I had to ride back an hour to get home. The wheel was wobbly so I had to take off the back brake. I got it fixed and I was riding home from the bike shop and I busted the another spoke on my back wheel. I only weight 222, so it can't be because of the girth. I rode it back to the bike shop. I bet the wheel rim is shot. I want to get it fixed because I'm into riding on my new seat. There are many trail in the JOCO that need my bike riding power.
I've gone to some ballgames with some old men. Old men can't hear or maybe don't listen well. Information is repeated a lot and frustration is high. I shouldn't complain. I get to go for free. I was in the middle of Red Sox Nation the other night. It is so hard to get a ticket in Boston that fans travel with the team or Kansas City has a lot of Red Sox fans. I'm guessing more of the later. There are Red Sox fans everywhere that have never been to Boston.

.: posted by Jed 10:38 AM

Sunday, July 20, 2008

I was at Tanner's the other night and I ran into the Commish. The Commish is this friend of theQUICK. I basically know him because he is the commissioner of one of my fantasy football leagues. He also helped me with my Sprint bill when the evil empire was trying to charge me too much. The Commish is awesome. He reads the blog. I don't really know him very well, but he reads the blog. He does not have to be told to read the blog. He just reads. the blog. That is support. He is on the JEDMAN bandwagon. Get on the bandwagon the rest of you. It is the right thing to do.

I fought some foo the other night. I saw the Foo Fighters in the big rock and roll show. There were about maybe 10,000 Foo Heads in the Kemper Arena. I was surprised by the turn out. The Foo Fighters are pretty good. That guy Dave from that Nirvana band is pretty good. He can sing and he can scream. Plus, he has long flowing hair. All the guys in the band had hair. No bald guy rock stars allowed. Guys or anyone with long flowing hair are my heroes. I dream of having hair like that. They played all the songs that I know. The stage was at one end of the arena. There was a long cat walk to the other end. At one point in the show a circular stage dropped to the arena floor at the end of the cat walk. They band moved down there. More pickers came out and they played some more songs. Dave talked a lot. He kind of has a potty mouth, but he was funny. He made fun of a guy in the crowd that had two beers. He made fun of some guy in the band that played triangle.It was a good show. The Foo played for around 2 hours and 20 minutes. That is pretty good value for the $55 ticket. This woman in front of me was blazing up the whole show. That is not legal. She had trouble standing up by the end of the show.
After the show, we ended up at some bar at 9th and State Line. I did not know that such a place existed. Through dark warehouses and train tracks was this club in the middle of the bottoms of Kansas City. The smokers were all upset because they couldn't smoke there. It literally 20 feet from free smoking KCK. I had to laugh. I can't wait for the full smoking ban everywhere even in Raytown. There was some lame band playing in there. Thankfully we only stayed for a little while. It was past my bedtime.
I read this book about this guy who went around the country with the goal of being a dishwasher in all 50 states. It was great. The guy was a slacker but he did take some pride in dish washing and he held the belief that jobs were made to quit. Quiting was the best part. Being able to quit and leave at anytime was what kept him going. The guy was my age. He put out a zine at the same time I did years ago about his dish washing escapades. He actually got popular, but wanting to remain a slacker. He had some funny stories. He didn't quite make all fifty states. I wish that I had the guts back then to do something stupid like that then write a book about it.

.: posted by Jed 8:49 PM

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

The END OF THE WORLD III
My last weekend at the end of the world, we drove up the desert to La Paz. La Paz is the capital of Baja California Sur. It is on the Mar of Cortez or the Gulf of California. We drove across the mountainous desert peninsula of BCS. It was fun. It was hot and dusty. There is not much out there but some cows, goats, and cacti. We did see a tourist relieving himself on the side of the highway on the way back down highway 19. He could have at least got of the road a little bit. The Highway 19 from San Lucas to Todos Santos is winding, narrow and a little peligrosos. We stayed at the Casa Jalisco. I know a guy in Kansas City whose brother-in-law owns the place. The room was very nice and big. It was a good place. The problem was the location of the hotel, not in the pretty area and far from the Malecon. The Malecon is the sea wall of the bay of La Paz. It stretches for several kilometers along the bay of La Paz. It is very nice stroll along the bay. On the other side of the street, there are shops and restaurants. It is a very nice area. We ate at a restaurant El Patron out on point at the beginning of the Malecon. We sat right by water as the sun set by the sailboats. It was pretty. I ate some sea bass. It was one of the best pieces of fish I have ever had. We drank some good Margaritas. It was very nice. As the sun went down more and more people came out to the Malecon. It was quite the seen. There were not too many gringos around. We walked along the Malecon. As we returned, there were a lot of people standing around. As we got closer, there was a pick up truck in the water. All I could see was the antenna. They had some tow trucks there to pull it out. I could never figure out how the guy drove that truck in there. It was crazy. I talked to some guys drinking some Tecate Light on the Malecon. They had no idea what Kansas was. They thought everyone in the USA was from New York. Statue of Liberty was all they knew.We need Superman to get that truck out.

On Day 2 in La Paz, we cruised up the coast of the bay to a beach called Balanda. It was pretty. There were a lot of people there. The beach was not that big, but the water went out forever in this little inlet. The water was clean and clear. It had white fine sand. You could walk out forever and not go under. I was way out and the water was only up to my chest at the deepest. It was a perfect 72 degrees. I could have stayed out there forever. I put on sun screen. This was smart. I have not done this before and have been burned to death. Sun screen works. Balanda was kind of the low rent beach. There were no facilities. There were a lot of families there. There were dogs there. There was a wiener dog there that outran thees two little girls that could not grasp the leash as the dog ran up and down the beach. It was cute. There were people with makeshift canopies to protect from the sun eating chips and hammering down big Pacificos. The one great thing about the ocean, it is like one big bathroom. After the Balanda Beach experience, we hit the next beach over. The name of it eludes me, but it was a bigger beach with restaurants. We ate some more sea bass in this nice moderately priced place with waiters and napkins. The eyes came with this piece of fish. Actually, it was the whole fish except for the guts. This beach was nice. You could seen the exit to the bay of La Paz into the open Cortez Sea. The water was clear and clean with white sand. It was a little cooler here. It was beautiful. After the beach we headed back into town. We went to the mall. I walked around reading sign. It was OK. It was a nice mall. Mexico is a poor country, but people have money to buy stuff. Baja California Sur is probably doing better than most states in Mexico. As the sun went down the Malecon filled up. I guess people without air bake in their houses all day and as soon as the sun goes down they hit the Malecon to cool off and hang. This is the ultimate loitering place. It is a teenagers dream. Families pop out and walk around. I saw this little kid about 4 years old on a electric motorcycle bike. He had a full helmet that wrapped around his jaw and googlies. The bike when about 4 MPH and he was cruising around on it. It was funny. He almost went down this embankment. It was a great place. It is fun. Loitering is OK USA. We should allow more of it and design places to do it.

I went to the big supermarket CCC in La Paz. In the beer aisle, Modelo the big beer company in Mexico has a cute beer girl there. I guess she is there to help you make a selection and if you don't pick a Modelo beer, well I don't want to tell you what that means, but don't ask her out to lunch. It is kind of funny. They don't do that here in the US because you would upset some conservatives. It is just fun. Mexico might be behind the times in the way women are viewed, but the superfiscial man in me likes things like this even though I'll probably get into trouble for it.

In San Jose, they sell fresh bottles of OJ on the street. I drank one everyday. It was great. I love fresh squeezed OJ. It is good there. BCS has a lot of vitimen C options. With all of those limes they put in beers and squeeze on the fish tacos. I love it.

I got a fish burger at Zipper's. It was a real piece of fish. It was good. Zipper's was an american like bar right on the beach with american like food and american versions of Mexican food. It is right on the beah, so the view is pretty. I could sit there all day. It was great to go their after sweating in the cave all day.

.: posted by Jed 3:06 PM

Monday, June 02, 2008

You might want to read this one again, because I have done some editing.
Those are my feet.

I'm not working right now so I have some time to blog. I know my fans want more blog material, but I'm a little lazy and don't write as much as I could. I think this makes the material a lot better if I don't write as much. The people that read this will anticipate more and then when they read this garbage, they will think it is better than it is.

I went to the Big Rush Concert. I didn't have anything to do, so I went. This was my 3rd Rush concert, but the first in over 20 years. The show was at Starlight. I had not been there in over 20 years. I think the last time I was there was for the Kinks show in 1985. They really made that place nice since the last time. They have a nice big stage with this huge towers. There is a covered concourse that goes all the way around the seating area. There are plenty of places to get drinks and it was super easy to go to the bathroom. It was very nice. They are starting to have more shows there. There were about 5,000 people in the 7,500 seat amphitheater. I think that is pretty good for the rockers in their late 50s. No other power trio can do that. When was the last time you saw Triumph play to more than 50 people in Bismark or Emerson Boozer, Lake and Jim Palmer fill a high school gym. The concert arena or amphitheater scene is full of bands from the 70s and the 80s. If you were decent then you can still get about 5,000 to 10,000 at a show in any big city. I don't think hip hop ever became or will become a big concert draw. Plus, many people that grew up going to concerts are in their 40s and 50s now and have money to go to shows at $50 a pop. Once all of these bands get too old, I'm just wondering if their will be arena rock anymore. I'm guessing there will only be small shows in the future with 1,000 people being a good draw.
Back to Rush, The band looked pretty fit. Alex and Neal are losing some hair. That is a plus for me. Neal had some hat on thinking he is the Edge. The fans all about 40 to 60 were computer geeks in high school that listened to Rush and the world's greatest drummer Neal Peart. Now, those geeks control the world and have babes that they didn't have in high school. There were some younger people there, but I didn't get why.
Rush was petty good live band. They play well together. They played some hits. They played the Red Barchetta. That is probably my favorite song. Plus, the obligatory Tom Sawyer, Spirit of the Radio, Subdivisions and 2112. I didn't realize this but they've been putting out albums all along. They've had like 8 albums since I bought one 20 years ago. So, there were a lot of songs I didn't know. Geddy was pretty good about telling the crowd when the old stuff or the new stuff was coming up. People tended to race to the bathroom during the new stuff. They played for about three hours in total. There was a 20 minute break in the middle. Plus, toward the end there was the epic drum solo by the world's greatest drummer. Neal has a lot of stuff to bang on. The crowd was really into the drum solo. I'm just glad it didn't last any longer than the 10 minutes it did. When it was over, Neal was tired and Alex gave the acoustic performance. It was ok. I'd much rather they just played songs. It was worth the $49 I paid to get in and I'm definitely not ruling the world as you would have seen me babeless at the show.

I went to the Police concert at the big Sprint Center last may. It was pretty good. Sting looked fit. Stu and Andy looked good also. Stu still has hair. I hate guys with hair. When I was a teenager and skinny, I kind of looked like Stu, but not anymore. They played all the hits. They rocked out a little. They jammed a little. I'm not much into jams, but these jams were not excessive although they could have cut a couple of them short. At one point the stage lights turned all red. The people in the arena knew that they were going to play Roxanne. It is good to tip off the crowed when you play your biggest hit. I sure they would forget it otherwise. Sting was good. He played the rock songs from the past. He could have jazzed up everything, but he gave the fans what they wanted. Elvis Costello opened up the show. He was good. I'm not a huge fan. I only know a few songs. I think I'm better looking than Elvis Costello, but he's way cooler than I. The arena is so big, it is not that intimate to get up close, but arena rock rules!
Afterward, I walked across the street to the power and light complex. It is basically a big plaza with restaurants and bars all around. It is a little contrived and some of the places are kind of dumb. There are chain restaurants and not too many local places got picked to be there. However, it is cool to hang outside with a lot of people walking around. People like to hang where a lot of people are. Kansas City has missed the boat on this for years.
I had the idea for this over 10 years ago after my tour of Spain. A lot of places in the metro could have built places like this, especially Overland Park. They should have built places with a plaza open area with shops and restaurants all around. I'm sorry Mr. Nichols The Plaza is not a plaza. If strips malls were built in rectangles, the restaurants could be open to the inside so that in nice weather people could sit outside. The parking could be around the perimeter. Everywhere there are restaurants in free standing buildings that have patios and outside seating, but you are sitting next to a parking lot. It would be way cooler to have a big walking area where people could hang out and loiter. The idea that loitering is bad needs to be expelled from the minds of all Midwesterners. Now, with gas so high, having to drive everywhere is tough even from one end of the strip mall to the other. It would be cooler if you could go somewhere where a lot of people are and just hang. That is what is making the Power and Light District successful. Kansas City is kind of a misguided place that will hurt as long as fuel goes up and up. It is too bad. Foot traffic is good. Loitering brings business.
When I did leave the Power and Light District to go home, I drove right out to parking garage and was home in like 20 minutes. I didn't spend 30 minutes in my car waiting in line. I did my part to save on energy even though I drove myself downtown to the show.

The Marriott Hotel at 435 and Metcalf has a big plastic baggy covering the whole building. It is like a full building plastic protection device. I don't know what they are doing, but it gives the guests added protection from the elements even though they are inside. I got a lot of jokes for this one but I don't know which one to use.

The Quick called me on Sunday to go to the Royals game. I was at the gym, but I dropped everything to hang with the Quick. The Quick is awesome. You drop everything to hang with the Quick. The Royals finally won I game that I attended. The score runs and got hits. I'm used to them scoring none or one with 3 weak singles. The Quick brought his daughter. She is about three. She is pretty good. The Quick looks like a good daddy. I just remember 10 and 11 years ago the Quick would call me up on a Saturday night and say, "Wake up. Get over here.". I'd go over and watch him play video games for a couple of hours. Then, he would take a shower about 11pm and then we would go out. I guess responsibility ends those days forever.

My friend Danny called me up out of the blue last week. He was in town from Antarctica. Yeah, he went to Antarctica to be a janitor for a few months. A janitor, not a custodian was he. He invited me to go to Roller Derby to see the Woman's Professional Flat Track Roller Derby League. It was at Hale Arena down by Kemper and it was quite the scene man. It was white trash heaven. They had PBR on tap. The track was in the middle of a concrete slab. I guess they don't use the banked track because the concrete is easier to install because it is already there. They just have to put down some red duct tape in an oval. There were four teams that alternated playing each other. The girls just skated around the oval and one fast girl tried to skate around and through the other girls while they tried to kill each other. They all had names like hurt devil, mini mean and oucho marx. There were a lot of people there. I was surprised. No too many people of color. You could stand next to the track and watch the girls smash each other. I think that was the main draw to see the girls collide and run over each other. That is what the people cheered for. I liked the athleticism of the fast girl who could skate through the others without wiping out. It was fun, but I think I'm a one timer.

.: posted by Jed 1:05 PM

Monday, April 28, 2008

It is tough having a child and an ex-wife. Jennifer, my ex-wife is very difficult to deal with. Trapezoid, our son, lives with his mother and her new boyfriend in a big south Olathe mansion. By law, I'm required to send money to help pay for stuff for Trap. I don't mind doing this. I want to participate in Trap's life. However, I'm concerned about what my money is used to pay for. Jennifer has a French guy come over to speak French with Trap so that he is fluent for the Sorbonne when he gets older. That is fine, but I speak Spanish with Trap whoever I can and I think Jennifer is just doing that to spite me. Also, Jennifer pays over $100 an hour to have this guy named Cheese Puff come over to teach Trap the lost art of country line dancing as an effort to teach Trap about the culture of country music. This is great because when Trap comes to see me, he comes with no clothes or anything. Jennifer expects me to buy him necessities even though the money I send over is for necessities of daily life. Plus, the pick up and drop off times are always changing. I lose time and have to put in time always unexpected without notice. Also, I get tired of Jennifer calling me a no good loser who doesn't make any money in front of Trap. That woman will be the end of me.
*By the way, I've never been married. I have no children. I just get tired of people talking about their kids and spouses all the time at work, so I invented a fake ex-wife and son. Some people are actually buying it. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:44 PM

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Hey, I went to the baseball game with some buddies last night, all men, all boys, being with the guys. I met them at the stadium. It was cold. They were giving away these replica jerseys that were semi-nice with medium quality. I had to wait for the guys outside the gate. They had to enter other side of the stadium. I couldn't get to because there is a lot of construction. Anyway, I waited and they were giving these jerseys away as you entered. I watched a woman with a trash bag outside the stadium. There were three guys going in on new tickets each time and exiting with a jersey to put in the trash bag. By the time they were done, they had about 30 jerseys in the bag. To their credit, they had a ticket for each one, but with the $9 tickets they probably bought, they are going to try to sell the jerseys for $20 a pop I would imagine. Then, they took off. They didn't even stay for the game. A lot of people walked out with jerseys and left appearing not to stay for the game. That defeats the spirit of the give away.
People were being jerks taking the jerseys. Some people got more the one. By the time I got in I didn't get one. They brought up some more boxes of jersey up to the gate as I was walking inside and people just converged on the guys carrying the boxes. I said the hell with it I don't need one that bad. I found my buddies and they had an extra one and I went to the table to get a small one for the guy's daughter. So, he traded me for it. I got one, but I was kind of disgusted at people because a lot of people got more than one. In my little group of four guys, one guy walked with two, but he got one for his daughter not to sell to someone on the outside.
I was disgusted by the display of greed. It defeated the spirit of the giveaway and I bet a lot of little kids that would die for one didn't get one because of the greed. It was cold. People can be jerks. When I got that small jersey from the table inside the and away from the gate. I got jostled and bumped. People were grabbing more than one of them. They were taking extras. That is bad.
I was outside for 5 hours. It was below 40 degrees. Baseball is not supposed to be cold. It is supposed to be just hot enough that you sweat and then the beer tastes really good. Football is supposed to be cold. It was a great football night, but they were playing baseball.

I watched the Jayhawks national championship game at Danny's Bar on College Boulevard. It was awesome. They Jayhawks came back and won playing awesome. I rarely get excited, but I jumped up and down when Chalmers hit that shot. After that, I knew we would take them in overtime. It reminded me of 20 years ago when I watched the game in my apartment on Tennessee Street in Lawrence with J-Bird, the K-man, imported beer and fireworks. My roommate, J-Bird, had a lot of fireworks. We shot them across the street to the frat house.

No one can listen. I have endured this for a long time. I get accused of not talking a lot sometimes. This is true. I don't talk a lot at times. I try to be polite and wait for an opening to say things when other people are talking. Often the opening never comes. The times when it does come, I find myself being interrupted a lot. No one listens. I can get very few people to listen to me. I understand that I may not say things clearly sometimes, but I wish people would just be quiet and let me talk and save questions until the end. Often, I can answer your question if you would just wait. No one listens in our post MTV world and I don't like it. I think I listen more than the average person.

I'm not good at much, but I'm good at cooking a lot of dead animal flesh on the grill for a lot of people. Other people are good as well, but they miss out on one technique that is very essential to good grilling. You have to take the food off the grill straight to the table. Many grillers make the mistake of cooking up a bunch of food for a big group. The food gets cooked all at once. Then there is a waiting period where they try to keep the food warm which essentially just drys it out, before the people eat it. The key is to cook a batch of whatever and put it on the buffet immediately and force people to go through the line. By the time, people go through the line and the first batch is almost gone the next batch is ready. When I cook, I operate this way. I just keep bringing in more as people serve themselves. This is effective cooking. Putting grilled stuff off to the side or in an oven to keep warm is no only ineffective, it is just plain unfortunate.

People should just eat their tomatoes and pickles when they order a sandwich and not offer them up to other people. Frankly they need the nutritional content. Not eating tomatoes is unfortunate.

.: posted by Jed 9:40 AM

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

.: posted by Jed 6:56 PM

Saturday, February 09, 2008

The number 4 button on my remote control came off and got lost. Now, I can't use that button. So, I can't watch any channels that have a 4 in it. I have channels 2 to 75. can't watch 4, 14, 24, 34, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 54, 64, and 74. That is 17 channels. 54 is home and gardsen TV. I really miss it. I don't know what I'm going to do. theJEDMAN

I've been inverting. Inversion is the wave of the future. I bought this contraption where you strap your feet into this teeter totter effect and you flip over and hang upside down. It is a really good stretch. I love it. I"ve been sleeping good and the headaches I used to get a lot seem to not be as bad so far. Waste elimination seems to be better. Plus, it opens up my vertebra and my back feels better and stronger. The cushions in my back have popped up after being smashed for so long. I just feel better. I do it everyday for about 10 minutes. Usually I invert to about 60 degrees, but I sometimes I go into full inversion. Full inversion is cool. You should invert. If you don't invert, you are a non-inverter.

.: posted by Jed 5:08 PM

Monday, January 21, 2008

I got to hang with theQUICK last week. It was awesome at smoke free Tanner's with theQUICK. theQUICK is awesome. You should give up cottage cheese to hang with theQUICK. You should stop smoking and eating nuts to hang with theQUICK. You should stop cleaning the bathroom and forgo getting groceries to hang with theQUICK. I can't wait unit the next time I get to hang with theQUICK. By the way, smoke free Overland Park is going well. I love it. I love not smelling like smoke when I get home and having to do all my laundry. Let those smokers freeze to death on the patio. I love smoke free living. It is the way it should be. theJEDMAN
Well, Sprint PCS did it to me again. They sent me a new phone and said that I only had to pay shipping and then they charged me for it. Last year they sent me a new phone with a different number. I got the number changed to my number but then they billed me for two numbers. I had to called multiple times to get it corrected. This year they didn't take the charge of the phone bill. I called many times. Now, they blocked my phone so I couldn't use it. I tried to make a call and it when straight to Sprint Customer service. I couldn't make a call. If I had been in an emergency I would not have been able to use my phone. Their plan was brilliant. I've paid my bill every time. They had no right to mess me over like that. Sprint is perpetrators of evil. Sprint over charges people on purpose just to see if they will pay. This is bad business. If I wasn't so lazy, I'd get new phone service.

.: posted by Jed 7:30 PM

Sunday, December 30, 2007

I am a champion. My team the Grateful Jed won the HM league fantasy football world championship last weekend. It was a glorious championship season. My team worked so hard and played good defense in the quest for the title. The championship is so wonderful. I won some money also, but the money can go fast on cars, guns, woman and wild weekends. The championship lasts forever. I am a champion forever. It can never be taken away, even with he steroid allegations.
I've seen some movies lately. Dan in Real Life was good and funny. I Am Legend was interesting and worth seeing, but kind of scary for the kids. P.S. I Love You was good. It was a touching story about love and loss and learning to love again. I loved it. Go see them. Put the video game control down and get out of the house.
I got the new Shakira's concert dvd Fijacion Oral tour. It is pretty good. It is the same one that I went to in Toronto, except they filmed it in Miami. It is rock and roll.

.: posted by Jed 12:35 PM

Sunday, December 16, 2007

It has been a long time since I was on the blog. I guess I never finished what I had started from my trip, but hey I've been to California multiple times and I do the same thing every time, so there is nothing new there.
I'm in the Super Bowl Championship game in my work fantasy football league being played next weekend in week 16 of the NFL season. My team the Grateful Jed finished 9 and 4 during the regular season. I picked up Huggie Bears son Justin Fargas and he is taking me to the title. It has been a glorious championship season.
I was eating some spaghetti and meatballs with a plastic fork when I noticed that one of the prongs was gone. I worried for 3 days that I had swallowed it.
I got paid as a professional DJ at some football games. I cranked that mother out.
I went to a college party in mid-town KC. I was by far the oldest person there by ten years. It was intense. The life of theJEDMAN is always intense.
I hate people that smoke. I can't wait for smoke free Overland Park. This happens at the first of the year. I just can't stand it anymore. It gives me a headache. The particles stick in my nose. It is terrible. Most smokers are the dirtiest, filthiest people on the planet. They will give in their addiction and not care if they affect anyone else.
These days in the Midwest all buildings are sealed up. They are not made for smoking. It is ridiculous to think that people are allowed to smoke inside, where non-smokers are exposed to the second hand smoke. I should have the right to go out to a smoke free environment. I have that right. I'm glad things are slowly changing. Hell, Paris has banned indoor smoking throughout the city. Paris, France mind you.
I have to wash my clothes the next day after being out. They smell so bad. It is terrible. Also, I have some health issues that smoke is not good for, but anyone I know that is a smoker will smoke anyway. They can't go without it for a couple of hours to hang with me. Don't give me the red meat and fried food health issue. Red meat and fried food don't float through the air and up your nose and into your lungs as I eat them. That argument is stupid.
This is not a judgement of the actions of other people on my part. It is legitimate concern for other people's destructive behavior. It is at the point where, you need to pick me or smoking because I am abandoning you. I've put up with it for more than half my life. I can't do it anymore. If you pick smoking over me, you're stupid.
I went to all the KU football games this year. They won all the games in Lawrence. It was fun. I like the college games more than the pro games at his point in my life. I'm a KU football fan. Basketball is just to pass the time until the spring game. I bought tickets last March and got a steal on them for the big KU-MU game. Tickets for that one game went for a lot more than I paid for the whole season. KU lost. It was cold, but it was fun. I ate ham drank bud light in the parking lot before the game. The only thing about KU winning games is that the ticket prices might go up, but KU fans save all their money for basketball. I'm a KU football fan.

.: posted by Jed 7:59 PM

Sunday, September 02, 2007

There is the couple on Drake's Beach in Point Reyes. The couple is enjoying a nice day at the beach on a lazy Sunday afternoon.

It has been a super long time since I have written on this blog. I'm really lazy and I don't do much interesting to write. I went to Los Cabos and San Francisco again this summer. I'll go into some detail maybe but I didnt't do too much exciting. One highlight is that I was untterly embarrassed the Peet's Coffee shop on Piedmont Street in Oakland. I went down thereto get some coffee. I had no idea that when they grind the beans there are so many different ways to do it. I didn't know what grade to grind the beans. I ended up having to talk to a young lady with heavy tatoos, heavy piercings and heavily colored hair. I didn't know if I could show my face again in there with this lack of information of the ordering prodedure. I'll write more later. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:55 PM

Sunday, June 03, 2007

I have not written for awhile. I'm just too lazy and I do the same things over and over again so nothing is very interesting. Here are the highlights from the last month.
I went to Fuel it was good superfiscial man fun. I don't think there is anything wrong with girls dancing on the bar at a place for dopes like me to go once in awhile. Yeah, it is dumb, but there are worse things in the world I could be doing and I think it is good clean fun on a Saturday night, but I probably won't go again for a few months.
I was at the Brewhaus when I saw James Caan again. He didn't recognize me. It was good, because I didn't want to get invited to his basement for beer, pool and rollerball again. James Caan hits the 119th strip again. His girlfriend Dora was all dolled up again.
I turned 41 on May 11th. I took my clients out to lunch. It was great. I had a fun time. My birthday was good. I had help opening my presents and blowing out my candles.
I tricked some girls into going to Hooter's. I didn't think they would want to go, but they did and $85 and 30 wings later it was fun. There was this one girl there wearing a Dominique name tag. She didn't look like a Dominique. Then later on she had a Christi name tag on. She said that she had to wear the fake one because it takes awhile to make them for new employees. This is identity fraud. How can I now believe any name tag is correct after this? Any name tag could be false. I should get some free wings and beer for that. Bon Chap got the Other Place nationally known for his trivia game playing and he asked for free beer, so I should to. So, consumer should beware of false name tags.
I played some softball. I homered twice in the game. We played on the girls softball field. The fences are short, but I homered twice. I hit the ball hard each time. I made several plays in the field. I had 3 or 4 putouts. I played well. I can still play. I'm an athlete. I better not play again because I'll never play that well again.
I saw some live music with the pretty boy. We went to the Record Bar in Westport. It is in Westport but kind of Off Westport. We saw the Sixteens, Only Children and Heartless Bastards. The Sixteens were are girls. They were spunky and good. The Only Children had a girl base player. They were ok. I hate the name. The Heartless Bastards were the headliner. They had a girl singer. She was good. They were pretty good. They played well. It was rock and roll. Rock and roll shows are where the action is at. I had not been to a bar like that with live music for a long time. It is a lot different a crowd than my beloved Tanner's. I'll have to go again. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:34 PM

Saturday, March 24, 2007

You got to watch this show Workout on the Bravo Channel. It is awesome. It is about personal trainers at a posh LA workout place on Cienega and Wilshire. It is great. They have real problems and real issues, but they make peoples live better with diet and exercise. All the drama and 97% fat free. Also, the new bachelor started. I wish I could do that. I'd love to bring all the chicks to my mom's house and tell them that my room is upstairs. I'd show it to you, but I'm not allowed to have girls up there.
I went near the St. Patrick's day parade last Saturday. I was close to it. I actually got to see some of it. There were a lot of people down there. I hit some clubs. This one club on the parade route was smart. They charged a $5 cover. This was really a riff raff tax. It kept riff raff out from using the bathroom. It was very intelligent. We hung out all day. Downtown quickly deserted after the parade. We went up to the Skies at the top of the Hyatt. It is the circular place that spins around. You can see the whole city. It is a little pricey, but it was cool. I might go up there again. Later, we went to the Twin City. It was packed. It is more my kind of club. I was fun.
I watch the last two KU basketball games at a club not known as Tanner's. I was hanging there with my group. James Caan was there with his girlfriend. I didn't know that James Caan lived in the area. James Caan invited me and my group over to his house, because James Caan just lives around the corner. James Caan has a pool table and a kegarator. James wanted to hang out and play some pool. James Caan's girlfriend was nice. I didn't really want to go. I don't think it is a good idea to go with someone you just met. Playing pool is not my forte, plus I didn't want to wake up in a dumpster. James Caan was looking for pool partners in all the wrong places.
I got into a huge converstation about Big 12 basketball in the steam room at Bally. This guy just started talking to me. I participated. We talked 88' KU Jayhawks. He liked to hear himself talk, but then he got off on a tangent of talking about his son playing high school and then walking on at a college and not being able to make it. He went on and on about that. That is great. I see a lot of kids whose parents don't go to the games. This guy was sad that his son's sports career was over, but I didn't need to hear all about it over and over when I'm sweating that much. I need more peace. At least I had my swim trunks on. I don't mind strangers talking to me, but one thing I don't like is people talking to me when I'm in the bally locker room. I just get done taking my shower and some guy starts up converstation. It is fine, but at least let me get my pants on.
I went to the doctor yesterday. I had a glitch on Wednesday, February 28 at 7:52. It lasted 17 seconds. The machine just recorded it, but didn't take any action to correct it. I guess it corrected itself. So, I was a little down because of this. I went home to try to figure out what I was doing when this happened. Then remember that I went to Liberty, Missouri for that basketball game. That night I got caught in the violent hailing downpour of an electircal storm. I was running and sliding down the hill in the rain to get to the gym from the parking lot. I remember noticing something when I was walking through the drivng rain. I thought it was just my stomach bubbling up, like it did when I was on the beta blockers. So, I feel bad, but maybe my magnesium is helping because it kept it from being worse. The machine records information. It can pace me out of bad rhythm and it will shock me back it if is really bad. I'm back on amiodarone. I would be a lot happier if I could get off medicine. I would feel better and I know my issues would go away. For now, I guess I need more time. I have never have an issues when I go to the gym. Oh well. I feel strong. Maybe this is a setback or mabybe it is just something that always happens. I bet the magnesium is protecting more more than those drugs. I really don't think the drugs do a whole lot. They sure do a number on my stomach, but I don't want any drug reps to lose their jobs. I've been in a lot of doctors offices in my day. All the drug reps are good-looking. I've never seen a not good-looking drug rep. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:56 AM

Saturday, March 10, 2007

I found this Shakira video website called I think Shakira media. It is good. It has a lot of live video performances. I love love arena rock music with Shakira. There were around 11 live performances of Inevitable on there and I watched all of them. You might think that I have a little problem Shakira issue. Well, I'll tell you that my little attention paying to anything and everything Shakira is completely different than the late 70s and 80s deadhead march or the 90s obsession of people going to see Phish several times and playing and buying bootlegs of different shows over and over. Oh yeah that Phish tape from the Alpine Valley Wisconsin show in April 93 is hands down the best. I've only seen Shakira once. She'll play Chicago again sometime. I'll try to go to that, but that is the closest place she''ll play to the creek city. I should get her to play my birthday party after I win the lotto. Anyway, back in the day, when I didn't live in my mom's house, I knew some guys in Lawrence that drove all over Texas running over armadillos going to Phish shows. At least the superfiscial man in me get some benefit from the international pop superstar rock chick that is Shakira. The powerful beauty of energy, rage, passion and fury. Jerry Garcia was not exactly the picture of energy and health and none of those Phish guys were good-looking. So, if I start missing work and blowing all responsiblities of which I have none, but if I did then you can hammer me for the Shakira thing. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:00 PM

Saturday, February 24, 2007

I wrote this a couple of weeks ago. I just didn't post it. I didn't feel too good for couple of weeks and I wanted to complain about it. Since then, I whined to the doctor and I'm on a low dose of amiodarone for my issue. My stomach and sinus feel better, but it is still not enough. However, I'm hoping to improve and I reached my goal. I'm on less medicine than before. Hopefully I'm be good with it. I'm on a supplement regiment and I physically feel better. I take digestive enzymes and magnesium among other things. I have some faith that this will help me and maybe I can get off the drugs. I've been on these for a little over a year after I went to the wacky allergy nutritionist doctor. He helped me feel better. It take a long time. Oh, I did find my keys. They were in my pants. I just kept checking the wrong pants.
That is the thing that kind of hacks me off about modern medicine. They give you a drug for everything and they want you to take it forever. Well, I'm on ami again, so some drug representative will not lose their vacation home. The drugs keep you alive, but they don't solve the problem. That is the only angle they go from. There was not much nutritional information given to me. Magnesium is a helpful mineral in regulating heart beating function. I found out about that watching informercials. Anyway, I think things need to change. I feel exploited.There is not much I can do to change this or my insurance will drop me and that would be big problems, but if I do get better taking my vitamins to the point where I don't need medicine and I'm fine, then my power pack my hack me off some more. There is big money in mechanical parts.
I woke up today with a pool if stuff in my throat. It is the medicine Toprol. It is a beta blocker. I have to take it for my rhythm issue. I took it before, but now I'm on a higher dose because I got rid of the amidodarone drug. Ami is not a beta blocker. I guess the beta blockers take a toll on you r stomach. They change the pressure in you stomach so stuff comes up and out because it has to go somewhere. I ate good yesterday. I had wheat toast, oatmeal, an orange, turkey sandwich on whole wheat bread, canned peaches and pears, a little bit of chocolate and a few Frito's. That is it. That stuff should just go right through you, not up and out. So, when it does that it stuffs up my head and for years of this my sinus has become more sensitive, so that is why I have problems. It is not much fun. Plus, medication for a long time makes your stomach leak everywhere not just out the top. So, I wish I could get around this issue. I see how it goes this week and call the doctor. to see if I can switch to amiodarone only. I did ok with the stomach on that. I may still have issues, but having crap run up you throat sucks. My head is all plugged up. It sucks, but I've probably got it better than most people with health problems, but it sure sucks having pain sinus pain from time with no relief in sight. Maybe I can get through all of this. It will just take some time.
I have not felt that great this week. I think maybe I've made the wrong choice in the medicine that I lobbied for at the doctor. My stomach just feels bloated and my head hurts more than it usually does. So, I'm stuffed up and I'm not getting much relief. I don't usually like whining about my issues but I'm doing it today. Also, I lost my car keys. I've never lost them before. I have an extra key, but it is driving me crazy not being able to find it. I'm sure they are in the house although I did go for a walk on Thursday night and I could have lost them then. I hope not because there is a remote lock on the key ring and if someone find it they can walk around testing cars on in the neighborhood easily to find out which car the keys belong to. It is unfortunate. I'll probably find them in some stupid place in the house soon. I don't know. I hate taking medicine. I just hate it. I look at it everyday and I take it but I think more and more that I just want to quit taking it. I don't even think it really does that much for me, but I know that I would feel a hell of a lot better if I could get off of it. It is just controlling my life . It is hard to live convertible. My head hurts a lot at work. This week it has been a little worse and has lingered on more than usual. Well, maybe it will be better this week. Maybe it was just a little sickness that I caught and it will subside. I'm really whining. I've never whined this much on the blog. The does of medicine I take are not that high, but they mess me up. I wish I could get off them. Maybe I will be ale to. I take those vitamins and I do feel stronger. Maybe my body is healing. I bet it would heal faster off the drugs, but that is what the USA is all about drug therapy and drug maintenance. I'm on drug maintenance. I've been on it for 7 years. I went to the hospital the first time 7 years ago. I've spent most of that time living n my mom's house. It makes me crazy.
Even though I live in my mom's house, I'm one of the hottest bachelors on the planet. The single mom's in my network always invite me out to the club all the time. I think they just want one dude around to keep really goony guys off the make. I feel like I'm doing an important public service entertaining the single moms. I have mystic. The other Friday after work at the buffalo wing place in Raytown, at one point I was the only dude among 5 women. You haven't partied until you've partied in Raytown. I feel like I'm doing a good public service, but I don't want to get involved because I may lose my mystic and my status as the hottest bachelor on the planet. Plus, I just didn't want to. Plus, I may of had no shot anyway. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 6:01 PM

Monday, February 19, 2007

I've been going to the bally about 3 or 4 days a week with my sony music machine. I've bored of the music on there. I kept listening to Shakira over and over. I never get tired of the rage and fury that is some of Shakira's songs as she complains about her boyfriend, but I needed some new music. I downloaded some new music.
In San Jose del Cabo on Xmas eve, I remember listening to a rock band called La Quinta Estacion. I downloaded a couple of their cds. It is rock. It is pretty good. They have a girl that sings. It is pop, but I like rock music. I just don't like hip hop or r&b or even much country anymore.
Then, I download that KT Tunstall. It is pop, but it is pretty good. She has some good songs. They've been in some movies out lately, but I like them. Also, I downloaded Nelly Furtado's new one. It is good. A few years ago, I hated that I'm like a bird I'll always fly away song, but this is different. I like the Maneater song. It made me afraid. I know Nelly is more like hip hop or r&b than rock, but exceptions can be made. Plus, she has some of the qualities coveted by the superficial man.
You might have noticed a theme here. I listen to music sung by girls. I just like girls voices. They sing pretty. I like rage and fury. I know that I'm not rushing out to download any Mama Cass. She's been dead a long time. I like girl rockers that don't have too many tattoos. Lita Ford probably won't get an invite to my birthday party. I'd be afraid that she would beat me up.
Although I have listened to the new Chili Peppers double cd. It is good. I just finished reading Tony's book Scar Tissue. That dude is lucky to be alive. He did a lot of dumb stuff. He did a lot of dumb stuff in his 30s. He was around a lot of wacky people. You should go read it.
I forgot to mention this last fall. I fell of the blog for awhile. I rode up to Columbia for the football game Thanksgiving weekend. The Jayhawks lost, but they did have adult beverages on the bus. It was fun, even though I don't really like to hang with most Jayhawk fans. I'm more passive than most. I'm not a yehoo. I got breakfast at Johnny's Prairie Village before the trip. It was awesome. I rocked out in Prairie Village. Remember, basketball is just passing time until the spring football game. The life of theJEDMAN is always intense.

.: posted by Jed 9:39 AM

Saturday, February 17, 2007

I have not written anything for awhile. I've been bored. The weather had been cold and nasty here and I've been working a lot. My little part time clock operator job is over. So, I'll have some free time now. I feel like an old person talking about the weather all the time. Old people like to talk about the weather. It is strange because old people usually don't have to go anywhere, so the weather should not be so important.
I forgot to mention that in the first week in December of last year, I got to hang with theQUICK. We met in Lawrence to watch some Monday night football. We watched the first half of the Packers-Seahawks game. There was fantasy football interest involved in the game between us. I ended up losing. I was in two fantasy football leagues last year and I wasn't the worst team in both, but I was about the worst scoring team in both leagues. i was horrible. I lost a lot. It was fun. It was theQUICK. It was intense. The life of theJEDMAN is always intense.
I have not done much else. I don't have any good jokes to write. I'll try to make up for it somehow, but it probably won't happen.

.: posted by Jed 4:22 PM

Sunday, December 31, 2006

It is New Year's Eve and I'm at home not doing anything. I have a little drainage in my throat so it is good to stay home. Plus, I had my New Year's Eve on Friday the 29th when I invaded El SQUID ROE in Cabo San Lucas Mexico. It was awesome. It was packed. SQUID ROE is the double decker bar in San Lucas that has no roof in some places. There is a lot of sheet metal and they close down long enough in the morning to spray the vomit of the floor. There is loud music. It is the place to be. All people go there. It is really a place for 19 and 20 year old americanos to get into a bar and have fun. Young people were really hammered. Those americanos, I tell you, it was great. I was there from about 2 to 3 in the morning. Outside the bar, 3 different pushers offered me drogas. If you not smart like me, you may get into trouble. Then, I hit the tamale truck outside with Cece. It was awesome. I had two tamales de puerco. So, that was my New Year's Eve. It was fun. Before that we hit Hagar's Cabo Wabo. It was good. Another place with loud music and lights. Cece's friends came along or we went with them. They were very nice. It was the same house band as last summer. They are all right. They play all kinds of covers. I bet they have to play I can't drive 55 everynight. That might be a good gig. Hang in Cabo all the time being the house band at Cabo Wabo. I could be the front man. Not the singer, but the front man. I'm a good front man, not a good singer. Before this, we were in San Jose del Cabo at some Martini bar next to the big Mega store by condo drive. Richy sophisticates hang in that area, that is why I was there.
Cabo was fun this year. I got there on the 23rd. Cece and her friend picked me up from the airport. It was better than any taxi. I stayed out in the suburbs of San Jose del Cabo. I went to the Oxxo and got some Sol. The house was nice. It had tile. I like tile. On Xmas eve, I got to drive a Toyota pick up truck with almost 200,000 miles on it to San Lucas. We bummed around and hit the Baja Cantina. There were a lot of americanos watching football. We ate at a locals place in town. It was good. I had some fish burritos. They were good. It was nice. On Xmas eve, we went to some friend's house, the same woman that picked me up from the airport. We sat outside all night almost drinking beer, tequila and eating turkey, ham, and some other stuff. It was fun. There were people out all over town. You could hear loud music. I guess there are no noise complaints in San Jose del Cabo. The woman's husband left and came back with a new car for her. It was a new Beetle. It was nice. You could tell they liked each other. It was beautiful. We stayed out there very late. The people were very nice to me. Little kids sang Karoke. It was fun.
X-mas day we walked to the highway and took the bus to San Jose downtown area. It was nice. It had tourist shops and restaurants and a nice plaza that was all decorated for the holidays. We went to Shooter's bar on top of a building. I ate some nachos. They were good. There were a lot of old rich guys up there watching football americano. I be they lived in the condo roe that was nearby. We walked back up the street were not many tourists go. It was fun. There was no bus or taxi back so we walked. The couple drove by and picked us up. They said that we should just use the truck. So, we drove that back.
On the 26th, we took the truck to San Lucas, we went to the beach. We hung there for a while then took the water taxi. We drove out to the big rocks. It was open sea water taxi. It was swell as the swells were kind of big. The lover's beach was packed. The only way to get there is by boat. I took about 50 pictures out there. We walked around town and went to RIPS by Cabo Wabo. I drank a coffee before that and bought some souvenirs. We hit the mega on the way back. I needed some fruit.
On the 27th, we went to the Bahia Chileno. It was pretty. It was a good nice day. Very pretty. There were a lot of people there. We hit San Jose and bought some tamales.
On the 28th, I did some more shopping in San Lucas. It started to rain a little. It never rains there. It didn't last very long. I ate some food at the Baja Cantina and watched the boats.
It was fun. I was treated very well. I stayed in the suburbs. I sat in the morning sol by a 20 foot cement block wall. It was great to drink coffee out there. I heated water on the stove to take a shower with. I did one cold shower and I couldn't take it. The weather was nice. It was chilly at night.

.: posted by Jed 9:14 PM

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

I went to St. Louis. I went for a big educational conference. It was great. I stayed at the Doubletree. There was a lot of pillows.

.: posted by Jed 7:21 PM

Sunday, August 06, 2006

.: posted by Jed 8:26 PM

Thursday, July 06, 2006

I think this whole immigration thing has gotten way out of hand. Mr. Bush expects all the immigrants to speak English now. You would think one his advisors would tell him that it takes a long time to learn English. It can take many years to be able to function. Also, unless you speak English clearly, without an accent and you don't mess up any word order, only then will most Americans accept you as an English speaker. This is what I've gotten out of Mr. Bush's message. For immingrants to learn to function in speaking English, we Americans must help them. We must have patience and help people to speak English. We have to talk to them all the time to give them impute to help them learn. It would not hurt most Americans to learn a few phrases of another language to help a speaker in that language feel comfortable in this country. Most of the time a lot of Americans will dismiss someone who struggles in speaking English. We can't do this Mr. Bush if you want people to learn. I've been dismissed trying to speak Spanish. It sucks. It makes you want to give up. I'm kind of biased because I work with non-English speakers all the time. The bottom line Mr. Bush is we have to help non-English speakers by speaking to them. theJEDMAN

I bought some pomegranate juice the other day. It is all the rage right now. I read in two different places how it helps circulation in your heart. So, I drink it sometimes. I get the expensive kind at the store. I've paid 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 dollars for beer. I can buy a $4 juice a couple times a week. Anyway, at the check out counter. The woman asked me if I had tried the peach passion ice tea from the some line of products. I told her that I try to never drink anything with PASSION in the name. It was intense. The life of theJEDMAN is always intense. theJEDMAN

There is always a big fireworks show in the JOCO close to where I live. On the 4th I was out walking. I stop by this coffee shop on my walk because they have that expensive juice that I like. I noticed on the door that they were closing at 5 pm. I told them they were crazy for not being open tonight. This parking lot will be full of people for the fireworks. Plus, there will be about 30,000 people in the area tonight. It is the only day of the year like this. They thanked me for my advice. Anyway, later that night I was across the street watching the fireworks and low and behold this shop was open. I felt like going over there and asking for 5% of the profits as a consultant. The fireworks started about 9:30. The sprinklers for the lawn by the office building I was sitting on came on about 9:29. I got splashed. The life of theJEDMAN is always intense. theJEDMAN

I'm leaving manana to go on my 3 country tour this summer. I'm going to Texas, Mexico and California. I know two of the three are not countries, but they have the big country attitude. It should be intense. The life of theJEDMAN is always intense. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:42 PM

Saturday, June 17, 2006

I turned 40 5 weeks ago. There was not much fanfare. I didn't want any, but hardly anyone acknowledged this feat of longevity. I got some stuff from one person in another country. I got phone calls from a nice person in another country. No one else but my family did anything for theJEDMAN. That is OK. I didn't promote it.
I have not been doing much lately. I'm still working. My group of clients lately have been exceptional. I'm really enjoying work.

I wasted a lot of time watching this show call the real housewives of orange county. It was so bad. They were so cheesy. There was a lot of fiberglass on the show. One woman accessorized so much stuff that she put glitter on her horse's hooves. The dark haired young woman was really pretty. Plus, there was a woman from the ZZ top video's that sells houses out there. She was married to this guy that used to pitch for the Oakland A's. It was one of those shows that was on all the time so you didn't even miss anything. It was dumb, but man I couldn't get enough.
I wish I was more like Barcelona Bad Boy. His life is not ruined by mindless TV shows.

I have the big vacation planned for July. I'm going to Texas, Mexico and California. It is going to be awesome. It should be intense. The life of theJEDMAN is always intense. I will spend a lot of time by the sea. I have always felt that I've been missing something in my life. When I go to the sea, I feel like I've found that something missing. I feel like a whole person. So, now that I'm an adult and I don't put ketchup on hot dogs, I yearn for the sea. Well, sometimes, I long for the sea. No, I used to long for the sea and now I yearn for the sea. No, maybe I long for the sea when I used to yearn for the sea. Well, I have longing and yearning confusion. I am in longing and yearning turmoil. I love the sea. I love boats. I hope to ride a boat on the sea. The sea is intense. There is no sea in Kansas. the life of theJEDMAN ia always intense. Also, at the end of August, I'm going to Toronto. It is my one chance to be Shakira's boyfriend.

I mess around on the itunes because I have this sony music player. It is great. Well, I found some power latin rock pop with a hot girl singer. Her name is Soraya. I looked on her website and she has the qualities that I like in a power pop latin singer. For awhile I thought that she was exclusively a colombiana, but then I found out that she grew up in New Jersey. I decided that was ok. Then, I found out that she died last month in a gruesome battle with breast cancer that killed her mom also. That is awful. I purchased and downloaded a couple of her CDs and they are pretty good.

.: posted by Jed 7:43 PM

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

PUBLIC ADDRESS ANNOUNCING
I got to do the Cougars game today at the K. Every spring there are amateur games at the K. The Cougars got to play today. The K is the stadium of the Major League team in town. I got picked out of thousands to do the game. I was in the PA booth. I did the line-ups and pre-game stuff. I didn't really mess up at all. During the game, I called one guy by the wrong name and a few times, I didn't get the next batter announced, but I was pretty good really. I got to play music between innings. I was DJ-ing. It was awesome. I really cranked that mother out. I operated the console. There were knobs, lots of knobs. It was big time. It looked PRO. It was PRO. I am PRO. I'll be working at ESPN soon. The life of theJEDMAN is always intense.

.: posted by Jed 8:13 PM

Sunday, April 09, 2006

I took some of my winnings from my dominating bracket and I bought some more discs for disc golf. I bought two put and approach discs. I have no short game so I need to work on it. Also, I bought a good driver. It is a nice piece of plastic. I have no long game and I'll probably never have much of one, but I need to work on it as well. I went out and played. I did well on some holes and I looked like I can't play on others. I did make two long puts with the new putters and I had one good drive. The new diver is cool. It is yellow and red all smeared together. It looks like a Jerry Garcia Dead shirt. It really freaks out your eyes when you throw it. Maybe one day, I'll be good enough to actually play with other people. The life of theJEDMAN is always intense.

I quit running back in high school. My shins hurt from running and they never really got good enough so that I could do it again. Anyway, now I can't run. Since then, sometimes when I sit or lie down, my legs twitch or I can't keep them still. If I stretch or keep them stretched out this is no problem. Recently, I've seen on TV and I've read in the paper that there is a drug for this condition. They even have a name for it. They call it Restless Leg Syndrome. They even say in the add that stretching helps this problem. This is another sign of of the drug companies exploitation of people like me that have a couple of health problems. They are perpetrators of evil. Very rarely have any of my doctors talked to me about nutrition. I know they took a nutrution classes in college. They just give me more drugs. A couple of time, my doctor has given me an antibiotic when I wasn't even really sick. I got over my GERD problem by going on high fiber and getting off that nexium and the $50 co-pay that is paying for some drug reps time share in Puerto Rico. The life of theJEDMAN is always intense.

.: posted by Jed 7:19 PM

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Sunday, I dominated on Saturday. UCLA and Florida both won big. That is the final game I picked in my bracket. I closed out the championship before the final game. The prize is $1500 cash. I'm theJEDMAN. I dominate. I'm not buying. The life of the JEDMAN is always intense. This is secondary to what else happened on Saturday. I got to hang with theQUICK at Bucklin's birthday party at Tim Kenedy's bar. This is no slight to Bucklin, but theQUICK is awesome. This reminds me of the glory days of theQUICK. theQUICK used to call me up on a Saturday night about 7:00 and say, "What up. Get over here." I would go over about 9:00 and watch theQUICK play video games for until 11:00. Then, theQUICK would take a shower. Then, we'd go full fuorce into the port about 11:30. At 3:00 AM we'd hit Quick Trip for some Chili Dogs. It was awesome. It was intense It is theQUICK. The life of theJEDMAN and theQUICK is always intense. Wherever you go I go with HUGO.

Well, I'm in the driver's seat on my bracket. I'm going to win it all. Currently, I'm in fourth place, but I have Florida and UCLA in the title game. I have UCLA winning it all. So, if both teams win on Saturday, I win it all. If UCLA wins on Monday night, I win it all. Any combination of one win and I finish in 2nd place. If they both lose, I get nothing. I'll have my bracket wrapped up Saturday and all of the $150 winner's share. 2nd place pays around $75. I'm awesome. I'm theJEDMAN. The life of the JEDMAN is always intense. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:19 PM

Saturday, March 25, 2006

I cruised T-Town. I got to hang with thQUICK. theQUICK is awesome. We ate some chicken wings. Then, I destroyed him at disc golf by several strokes. It was a beating, a display of total domination. We played at Ocean Shawnee by his T-Town mansion. I lost a disc in the ocean. On 17, I just threw it and it curved into the ocean. Those things don't float. Then, on 18, you have to throw it over the ocean. The tee is well set back from the ocean. I was chicken. So I walked up to the ocean. I tried to throw it over the ocean, but it still hit the water. It was close to the beach so I was able to get it out. It was my lucky orange disc. I didn't want to lose it. After golf, I dominated theQUICK at the trivia game ESPN's Scene It. It is really scary how much sports trivia I know. I mean I got a downhill skiing question right. I even knew what kind of shoes the refrigerator wore in Super Bowl XX. I killed him. It was total domination. theQUICK is awesome. T-Town rulz. The life of theJEDMAN is always intense. theJEDMAN

"Negative energy just makes me stronger. What ever happened to the Stones at the coliseum or the Who at the King Dome. Where are the Iron Man's and the Misty Mountain Hop's of our generation. This band will persevere. This weekend, we rock Portland!" I caught the 1992 movie SINGLES on the cable the other night. It was a Seattle young people looking for love set around the grunge scene. It is funny. Matt Dillon was so funny in that. I was dying laughing. Briget Fonda was super cute in this movie. She was in a lot of movies at this time. Brad screwed me one time when we tried to see POINT OF NO RETURN. This was an awesome Briget Fonda movie at this time. We eventually saw it, but Brad almost ruined it. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 10:05 AM

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

I sometimes go to a park close to my old neighborhood to walk. It is a nice park with a small lake and a trail. There are water fowl there this time of year. There is a big sign that not only says not to feed the water fowl, but why not to feed them. I never fail to see someone feed the fowl. Today, this mom and her little daughter had a whole loaf of bread feeding the fowl. The little girl was pelting the Canadian Geese with little chunks of bread. She was running after the geese and throwing bread at them along with her mom right in front of the DO NOT FEED WATER FOWL sign. What are these people stupid? Read the sign. You are breaking the law. It is just like in 95 Bon Chap had a hissy fit at the Barcelona Zoo when people were feeding the elephants. in front of the no feeding sign. These are not American Geese. They are Canadian Geese. They are going to fly back to Canada and inform all Canadians that people in the USA can't read. I could see the geese peck the little girl into tears. Then, her Overland Park mom would sue the city and the geese for it claiming ignorance and that there should have been somewhere there to stop them, like that bald doofus in the Royals hat walking around the trail. The life of theJEDMAN is always intense. theJEDMAN

I've been to a couple more Arena games. They are pretty good. The cheerleaders are almost worth admission. The thing that is best is the $6 beers. I think that the more expensive beer is the better it is. There is nothing like bud light in a plastic cup. It just tastes better. I think because so many people drink the beer, it is really fresh. Fresh beer is better. I just like the tap beer. The Brigade isn't as good as the beer. They've only won one game, but they've really have been taken to by the football crazy Kansas citians. That beer at the Tanner's in the plastic cup is pretty good. They probably sell a lot of bud light there.

I've been watching a lot of TV lately. Most of it is crap, but one show that is interesting is that show about pop singer Lisa Loeb. It follows her dating life in New York City. It is great. She is super cute. Women are either hot, beautiful, cute or a combination of all three. That crazy Spears girl is hot. Shania Twain and Salma Hayek are beautiful. Shakira is all three. Lisa Loeb is super cute. She has that good combination of a smarty, sophisticated, reserve coolness about her. I would date her. She's super cute, but she goes out with a ton of doofuses on the show. This one guy made several racial slurs about Jewish girls and then said that helping people was so boring. Needless to say that ended the date. I'd like to get on that show, but I'm afraid that security would take me away in a refrigerator box if I got to close to Ms. Loeb. That would be intense. The life of theJEDMAN is always intense.

I found out that the new coffee house, Scooter's, by my house is a chain from Nebraska. Nebraska, I got the pulp beat out of me one night in Nebraska. This place is no good. I took my own cup in there and they charged me just as much as if I used their cup. That is not right. They seem to be perpetrators of evil. I'm just going to go to Quick Trip.

I'm getting older and I have to go get tests down to see that I am healthy. Because of family history, I had to go get my colon checked. It was great let me tell you. To prepare for it, I was not allowed to eat for a day and I had to take of all these laxatives and drink a bunch of stuff that smelled bad and was worse coming out. It was hell. I didn't know I was carrying around so much stuff. Anyway, I didn't sleep well and then I had to run to the bathroom all the time and the smelll was horrible. I went to the hospital feeling bad. Then, they put me to sleep and it was over. You go to the hospital. They get you naked and then strangers put you to sleep. It is great and they say there is no trust left in the world. I have pictures if you want to see them I'll send out copies. I have to worn you, I'm far better looking on the outside. By the way, everything checked out ok. I'm totally clean. I have to do that in another five years. I guess I'm doing this every five years for the rest of my life. That could be 9 or 10 more times. No fun.

I'm on vacation. Some people call it Spring Break. I was going to go to Cabo San Lucas, but I couldn't get a good flight, so that fell through. Then, I was going to go to Steamboat Springs, Colorado, but that fell through with my little colon check. So, now I'm going to T-town tomorrow to see theQUICK. T-town is the capital of the state of Kansas. Got to love theQUICK. We might play some disc golf at Lake Shawnee. It will be intense. The life of theJEDMAN is always intense.

.: posted by Jed 4:16 PM

Sunday, February 19, 2006

I wrote that snow board cross entry on the last post right before I watched the girl snowboarder do a little hot dogging on a jump when she had a huge lead and fell allowing for the other snowboarder girl to pass her for the gold. I tell you these young kids today don't do a lot of thinking. Oh well, she talked to the press afterward when they tortured her with it. She was a good sport. It was probably intense for her. The life of theJEDMAN is always intense. theJEDMAN

I went to the AFL today. it is a really dumb sport. Then again large men crashing into each other wearing fiberglass helmets isn't the best idea ever thought of, but it is awesome anyway. The New Orleans team in Arena American Football moved to Kansas City to be the Brigade. The Brigade crushed the team from Columbus. It is interesting. It is not nearly as good as real football, but I'd probaby go again. There were collisions, fire, fireworks, scantlily clad cheerleaders, $6 cups of beer, and nachos. It is affordable. You can get in for $10. I freeloaded my way in, but I might pay to go. They're not the best athletes in the world, but there seem to be no primadonnas even though there is some trash talking out of the field. They pass too much. It seems like they could run the ball more, but a real athletic wide out can control they game if someone throws him the ball. It was intense. The life of theJEDMAN is always intense. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:16 PM

Sunday, February 12, 2006

I went to the Hero's bar to watch the Super Bowl. The Hero is awesome. He has a urinal in his basement with a TV by it. You have to watch the Super Bowl. It is part of your culture. The game was boring but at least it was not a blow out. The best part was Mick and the Boys. I love Mick. I love rock shows. Keith and Ron were awesome too. I should go see the Stones if they even play a gig again. I love Mick. I really love Keith.
I've been walking a lot with my new sony MP3 player. I don't care if it is cold. I downloaded some Alejandra Guzman. She a heavily tatooed dangerous looking, throaty voiced almost flinty rocker chick from Mexico. She has the reverse tailbone tatoo. It is pretty good. Even though I'm kind of scared of her. Walking is good. I like walking.

.: posted by Jed 6:56 PM

Saturday, February 04, 2006

I'm back by popular demand. People have complained that I have not been writing on the blog. I never think anyone actually reads this garbage. I like writing, but sometimes it is a burden to come up with material. I don't want to disappoint my fans. I do stuff that is funny then I forget about it. I should takes some notes, but that is not my free-wheeling style. I'm theJEDMAN remember.
I went to the Phraz-machine's party last weekend. It was awesome. There was broccoli. There was some of the old-timers there. It was fun I had a good time even though Pat instigated some questionable activity going on in the garage right next to the wholesale club stash of merchandise. I never thought the Phraz-machine would have so many non-organic juice boxes.
I was at Tanner's watching the Seahawks game on a Sunday afternoon. This guy next to me at the bar started talking to me. He talked a lot. He kept asking me about my life, my job, my martital status, prospects for doing that, portfolio, etc. It was weird. He wouldn't shut up. It almost drove me nuts. He kept saying I had a good life going, but that I should add some stuff like wife kids and I should be my own money manager instead of having help, "You can do that yourself. Also, I'm 46. I got a 4 year old and three other kids. It is great. My wife is great. It is great." Twice he said, "You're in here trying to watch the game and some guy is talking you ear off." This didn't stop him.
A couple of times the guy said stuff that was somewhat racist. This is not the first time this has happened. I've had people say racist stuff to me before. I'm worried that I look like a guy anyone can say racist stuff to. It was just like the time when I was at the gas station and two guys asked me where the strip bar was. They said, "Hey buddy, where is the strip club?" It wasn't do you know where the strip club is. It was where is the strip club. I must look like a guy that would know that.
Also, the guy just kept talking about stuff you have. Possessions dominated this guys life. He has business, cars, children, wife, etc. All of it was possessions that you have or you need. That is JOCO. After awhile I was thinking, why is this guy in the bar on a Sunday afternoon by himself. Being at a bar by yourself is the last frontier of loserarama. I go sometimes when I don't have anything else to do. I know it is a loser world. If I had a wife and kids I would probably never go out for a beer alone or maybe at all. Hopefully if I was in that situation I would never want to. So, I didn't understand it. He was very nice. He was talking at me. I never got a word in. I missed a couple of Seahawk TDs. I just kind of wanted to leave. It was a juxtaposition of wanting to be with people and yet wanting to be alone. Being with people this time was torture. I chose alone. theJEDMAN
I bought an MP3 player. I can't live without my music. I got a sony. I spent about $120 at the Super Target. I even figured out how to use it that day. I got 1 GB. It is supposed to hold 695 songs and up to 70 hours on 1 AAA battery. I even figured out how to put my CDs on it today. I loaded all my Shakira CDs on it today. I was at Shakira's birthday party in Colombia this week. It was awesome. It is awesome being her boyfriend. Today, I was at Circuit City before Super Target and I thought about biting the bullet and getting the big $200 plus i-pod, but I decided to comparison shop. I saw the sony one and I said I don't need to spend that much. I don't really need to spend $120, but it has been forever since I bought myself a toy. I got to have my music. I like to walk and I was getting board with the CDs I burned to play in my CD player. I figure I'll walk more if I have my music. It is really small. It fits in the palm of my hand. It is light as a feather. I can take it to Tanner's with me and really tune the world out. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 10:28 AM

Sunday, January 08, 2006

I haven't written in awhile. I had some ideas, but I don't remember what they were. I haven't been busy. I've just been off the blog because the life of theJEDMAN is always intense. I went to a holiday part at the casino last night. It was fun. I ate ribs and shrimp. You should only eat ribs and shrimp on a buffet. There is no reason to eat anything else. I did eat some zucchini. Zucchini is good. People should eat zucchini. Then, later, I entered the gaming area. I immediately dropped $1,000 at the blackjack table. Ok, I only lost $25, but I lost it fast. It was fun. I've only played slots before. Slots are no fun. Blackjack was pretty much fun. I can see playing it once a year and dropping $20 for entertainment. I can see how some idiots might make bad choices there and blow all of their mortgage, get their wife upset with them, lose their job and have to rob Quick Trips to avoid sleeping outside in the freezing cold and having to lick snow for nourishment. theJEDMAN

I was in South JOCO. I saw this service taking down the holiday decorations and lights from the outside of this house. I guess you can pay people to do put lights on your house for the holidays. That is a good idea because in some of those neighborhood. People will make fun of you if you don't have good lights. When I used to work in the JOCO, people used to make fun of you if you brought bad snacks to meetings. Bad snacks meant healthy snacks. That is my JOCO. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 6:09 PM

Sunday, December 18, 2005

I'm really disappointed in the world. My KU Jayhawks are in the coveted Fort Worth Bowl and I can't find anyone dumb enough to drive down there for the game. I've never been to a bowl game. Actually, I've never thought of going to a bowl game, but this sounds like the perfect one to go to. Forget the Rose bowl with UT and SC. This is the Fort Worth Bowl. The KU Jayhawks and Houston Cougars are not necessary going to pact the house, so I should be able to get a ticket on game day easily. It is the last time I get to see the KU football Jayhawks until the spring game. There are no other KU sports to watch all winter long until the spring game. I always suffer all winter long with no important KU sports to follow.
This is a reflection of society. I have no responsibilities. I have time off. I have some extra money. It just sounds like a good idea to go to the game. Back in my twenties, I didn't have money or time off or a bowl bound KU football Jayhawk team to go to see. The KU Jayhawks did play in a couple of bowls back then, but they were both in Hawaii, which was not really a day's drive. When you are younger, you are more able and apt to take a road trip at the last minute without planning. I went to the Grand Canyon on a whim like that back then. I had to get a lot of people to cover for me at the Subway and I had to really do some creative financing to figure out if I had enough money to go. Plus, the ten days I was gone to the Grand Canyon, I didn't get a pay check. Now, I get paid every two weeks whether I'm on break or not.
Most people around 40 have too many responsiblities to do something dubious like go to the Fort Worth bowl at the last minute. I'm not one ot them. Maybe, I'll find a bus with a keg on it this week that is headed down to the coveted Fort Worth Bowl. It is a big important bowl game. This bowl could go bankrupt and not exist after this year. It might be my only chance. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 4:29 PM

Sunday, December 11, 2005

I went to the Other Place in downtown OP. It was awesome. I ordered a pizza. It took a long time and when they finally brought it to me they admitted that it was a little over cooked. They said that they would make me another one and give me a discount. I said ok. About an hour after I originally ordered. I got my pizza. Then, after I was done eating. the manager guy came and told me that he had taken care of the pizza. I got a free pizza basically. I only had to lose time. That was an excellent customer service strategy. They messed up and corrected it without me complainining. That is good customer service. I love the Other Place. theJEDMAN

Shakira was on SNL last night. She played two songs. She pines in the two songs. I've been waiting all my life for a woman that was into pining. Shakira is awesome. She is so pretty. She pines. It can't be too hard to get an opportunity to get an opportunity to be her boyfriend. I wonder how I can get that done. Shakira pines, Bon Chappell. She pines. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 3:33 PM

Thursday, December 08, 2005

I didn't have to go to work today, Thursday and I don't have to go tomorrow, Friday. There is a lot of snow and it is below zero outside. I watched a couple of movies, but one I rented kept skipping. The disc was all scratched up. It kept stopping. I'm mad at some corporate movie rental place for renting it to me. I know going corporate is bad, but there is no place else to go. I'm really going to let their customer service representative have it if I don't get my way manana. It might be good not to have to go to work in bad weather and it is, but now I have to work May 26 and May 27. I bet the weather is better on those two days.
I watched the MOTORCYCLE DIARIES. These two dudes were riding down and up South America in the 1950s. They helped some people on the way. It was pretty good. I liked it. Those guys were kind of idiots. They crashed that thing many times, until they couldn't crash it anymore. Then, you saw really poor sick people while dudes were partying across the river. I try to help people make good decisions that I have the chance to influence. They just have to do what I tell them to do. Then, they might have a better chance of being on the other side of the river. That is what is is all about making good decisions to get on the other side of the river.
Oh well, I did read some of a book. I'm reading about Tony Kiedis. I tell you it must have been fun in L.A. in the late 70s and early 80s. That is when Brentwood was roaming up and down Sunset Blvd. The problem is that was really stupid stuff that Tony was doing at the time, drugs, women, stealing stuff, living in your car, jumping off apartment buildings into pools. Just general being stupid was Tony's game. It must have been fun, but Tony is lucky that he is alive. I bet Brentwood's activities were less extreme, but she was probably just as fun then as she is now. Brentwood is awesome. Brentwood is the California girl. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:12 PM

Monday, December 05, 2005

I like to go to the bar to watch some Sunday football. I like to go at around 1:30 to catch the end of the noon games. It is awesome to watch 10 games at once, but I do admit that I get a little confused at times. The only problem is that there are really only things to drink and eat that are bad for you. Beer, soda, and fried food seem to only be the options.
Having a couple of beers is fine, but the temptation is to drink more. I wish there were other options to drink. I wish the bar was like it is in Spain. All the bars have alcoholic beverages, plus coffees and some have the fresh juice machine. I'm not talking about a full foo foo starbucks menu. That is corporate hell. Starbucks has bad service. No refills on regular coffee. Bad interiors and they push high caffine on teenagers. They are pushers. They push caffine of little kids. They should be prosecuted. I just want a good cafe con leche.
The bars here call ice berg, fried chicken strips, a ton of mayo in a flour tortilla food that is good for you. You might as well slam the pork-T with velveta down your throat. I'd like to see some grilled zucchini on the menu with some black beans. Also, they could make some fruit drinks with fresh fruit. That would be good. You need to run some fruit through you colon with frequency. When are people going to stop smoking? Why do they do it? Why do they have to smoke in doors? I don't get it. Everything is bad for you, bad food, bad drinks, second hand smoke, tv watching large men smash each other with fiberglass helmets. All of this is bad. There is really no where else to go. That is the format of the sports bar. I think if I go with my idea. I've really got something.
I watched part of the Wizard of Oz the other night. Those munchkins with the lolly pops still freak me out. Oh yeah, my favorite bartender at my neighborhood place is working at Tanner's also. It was the first time I had seen her out of her orange and white uniform. She' pretty cute in regular cloths. She's a hard working girl. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:02 PM

Thursday, December 01, 2005

I say we forgo the purchasing of pitchered beer and buy for individual beers. I got the new Shakira CD, oral fixation vol. 2 in the mail. It is awesome. They sent me a big post of her also. There is a lot of nature on the poster. I love Shakira. She is the genuine artist of the people. She plays rock music about bad boyfriends who ignore her and chase other women. You can feel the longing, wanting and the desire of the urge in her lyrics. Plus, she is so beautiful. It is too bad that she sings about all of these experiences. I guess when you can only date the son of the president of Argentina there is a lot of longing, yearning and wanting to fulfill the urge. Security only allows her a limited life. I have to get to Bogota soon to break her free from the wrath of popularity that forbids her from achieving the life that she has yearned for. I have to get to Bogota today. theJEDMAN. I say we forgo the purchasing of six backs and buy individual 40s. theJEDMAN

I went ot the big KU American football game last Saturday against the ISU Cyclones. The Jayhawks crushed them in OT. Remember, KU basketball is just down time until the Jayhawks' Spring American Football Game. KU qualified for a bowl game. There are only about 500 bowl games to go to. They might play in Fort Worth, Texas. I'm there if that happens. Although, I've always dreamed of going to the Poulan Weed Eater Shreveport, Louisiana Independence Bowl. The party would definitely go down in Shreveport. theJEDMAN would tear up Shreveport. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 6:08 PM

Monday, November 21, 2005

My fantasy football team in the Topflight league finally won a game. I'm now 1-10. This is the league that I went 12-1 in last year and also I won the league scoring title. My team is bad this year. I really wanted to go for a perfect winless season, but it was not to be. I could have really tanked it and lost, but I wanted to play it straight and start the best players I could get. Trent Green scored 10 over his season average to help theJEDHEADS to the win. It is really devestating for my opponent, because in this league you do not lose to theJEDHEADS. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 5:12 PM

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Writing about sports is so boring. I still watch sports and I attend games although not as many as I used to. KU basketball has started. It is not as good as it used to be. With a very few exceptions, Coach Roy used to get guys that would have probably been in college without basketball. Coach Bill has guys on the team that are only in college because of basketball. I don't think there is as much to cheer for. College basketball has turned too much into the NBA. All it is is post up and kick out. No movement and no cheap baskets because of ball movement. It is boring to watch. Plus, I learned a hard lesson in investing too much into team. The 95 Chiefs broke my spirit. I'm a passive fan I don't really care. I just hope it is a good competative game.

I was at some cheap bar in Olathe. There were a lot of young people there. You could see people walking in from the parking lot. These two cheesy looking women were walking in from the parking lot. I could see them coming. When they got inside, one of them has a can of bud light in her hand. I couldn't stop laughing. It was an ultimate white trash moment. theJEDMAN

I went to Hooter's the other night. I was talking to the Italian girl behind the bar. She has a lot of the qualities coveted by the superfiscial man. She was telling me that she had to work until close tonight. She said she would get home about 2AM. Then she had to come in for an employee meeting at 8am. Then she was to go church. She is a good wholesome girl. Then she had to go back and work from 4 to close and be there to open Monday morning. She is a soldier. She is a warrior. She has discpline and perserverance. Hard work made this county what it is. You think working at Hooter's is all glamour. Think again.
This reminded me of my days in the biz. I remember once at Applause Video, I worked from 4pm to 1am on a Saturday. Then I worked open to close on a Sunday which was 8am to 10:30. Then I had to open up on Monday. Many times at the Subway. I worked many days in a row and only went home to sleep. You can do that when you are young, but it damages you soul. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:04 PM

Friday, November 04, 2005

November 6, 2005---- I didn't go to the Chiefs-Raiders game. It was out of my control. Well, I guess I could have bought my own ticket, but that would have ended my streak of freeloading. I looked up the history and I think the last time I missed one was in the 70s. I watched it at Tanner's. They got new TVs there. There are a bunch of weirdos at places like that. theJEDMAN
November 5, 2005---- I got to go to a party for the QUICK. It was in a compound. I had to go through a gate to get there. It was awesome. The QUICK is awesome. The party was for what theQUICK participated in. Everything associated with theQUICK gleams of class. It was way better than anything else I could have done this day. It is quite a privilege to see the QUICK on consecutive nights. They had nuts. theJEDMAN
November 5, 2005---I went to the big Jayhawk husking of the Cornhuskers. It was pretty good. There were trespassing violations. I know how they can curb the goal post destruction. All they have to do is have one guy by each post with a gun. He just has to shoot one person. That will stop it. Then, they leave the dead guy there until the next game to discourage this behavior. KU football is awesome. KU basketball is just something to pass the time between the fall football season and spring football practice. theJEDMAN
November 4, 2005-----I got to see theQUICK. He was coaching his American football team from T-Town in the JOCO. They didn't fair well tonight, but theQUICK is awesome. I also got to promote international relations. It was a full evening of humanitarianism for theJEDMAN

"Coach, can I have number 62. It was my dad's number."

"Man, you're not dancing like you're into the music......."

"Why bacon? Why not sausage?"

.: posted by Jed 10:03 PM

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Don't even think about calling me on Wednesday nights at 8 pm central time. I'm watching the Apprentice, Martha Stewart.

I got a slushy drink at Sonic last week on my way to the south side of the metro. I took a few sips. Then, I had a horrible brain freeze. I had never felt pain like that. It was unbelievable. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 5:54 PM

Sunday, October 30, 2005

I'm having an unfortunate season in fantasy football. In the league I dominated last year, I'm now 0-8. I lost today because the Broncos ran another play when they were way ahead and the guy ran up the middle for a TD that they didn't need. All they had to do was take a knee. What is worse is that the Eagles made no attempt to stop him. What is still worse is that I picked up a back this week that I had had earlier in the season. I dumped him when I needed a kicker. I didn't start him this week and he scored 25 fantasy points. I'm an idiot. In my other league I'm 2-5. I should win this week. I'm way ahead and I still have a guy in the Monday night game. I have a lot of problems with that league. There is no incentive to pick up players. Plus, they make me keep two kickers, two TEs and two defenses all year long. If I drop a TE, I have to pick up one. I dislike this strategy and I feel that it is not a sporting way to play. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:10 PM

I went to see the border war between the universities of Kansas and Missouri. Kansas crushed them. That is not important. Before the game, young college girls adorned with cereal malt beverages talked to theJEDMAN on the hill by the pre-game radio remote. Then, after the game young inebriated college girls demanded high fives from theJEDMAN on Mississippi Street near the famous 929 venue. What is important? theJEDMAN is still coveted by young college girls. theJEDMAN

I did some damage recently in the Grandview bars. It was nuts. Within one week, I hit the Elbow Bend and Bike Nites. They had pitchers. I don't think it is really a good policy for mature adults to drink pitchers, because you never remember how much you drank out of the pitcher and you don't really need to drink that much beer anyway. It is better just to buy individual beers and quit somewhere between 0 and 4. So, in the future, I think we should forgo the buying of pitchers for the buying of individual beers only. Elbow Bend is awesome. Bike Nites is awesome. I was part of an importand professional seminar there last week. Both of these clubs just might be too much fun to ever attend again. It would be difficult to recapture the magic of these week of damage in the Grandview Clubs. theJEDMAN

I really heard these. I'm not making them up.

"I'm down at Hooter's so much that people call down to Hooter's looking for me."

"I think I can get out of it because the cop asked me if I had been drinking beer. Well, everyone who knows me know that I only drink crown."

"I don't like labels. I mean, you say, see that guy. He's a punker. Well, how do you know he's not a poser?"

"What do you mean, you don't like Def Leppard?"

"Sometimes, we don't know how dumb you are?"

"There's been a lot of talk. Sometimes too much talk. This is not a rebel song. This is Sunday, Bloody Sunday."

"We've got to get extra movies in our customers hands."
"I want you CSRs out on the floor talking to customers. You don't make sales at the register. You make sales out on the floor."
"We've got plenty of things to sell. We got samsung video tapes. We've got candy bars. We've got a lot of things we can sell."

.: posted by Jed 3:12 PM

Sunday, October 16, 2005

I got to see the QUCIK on Friday and Saturday night. It was a rare siting of the QUICK in the metro. Thank the power of american football. The QUICK is awesome. The QUICK named his dog Jedman.
Does anyone ever buy those jello molds in the store. I hate Jello. I hate it when they put the fruit in the jello molds. I hate anyone that likes jello. Jello is gross. There is a reason why they use jello for the guts of the skeleton on Halloween. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 6:22 PM

Monday, October 10, 2005

The Barcelona Bad Boy was here most of September. We hung out. He is still the same. We got a little carried away a couple of times. On his last night here, we did go to Bobby Baker's. I'd had never been there before. That place is awesome. Man if I didn't think I would probably die after a couple of hours as a loung lizard, I would go there all the time. The thing about it is it is a lounge. The bar stools are awesome.
-There are three Del Taco's in St. Louis. If I still ate fast food, I'd be there on a road trip. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 6:20 PM

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

For the first time since Thanksgiving weekend 1986, I did not attend the regular season NFL football game in my city. My ticket was somehow taken away. I've been freeloading all this time and I guess my streak of almost 20 years has come to an end. I watched the game at home by myself. I feel like my hamstring was cut on the bottom just above my knee. I can't plant and cut anymore. I feel like I quit the game. I'll get over it. Plus, the section wear my old seat was won the free pizza this week. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:04 PM

Monday, September 12, 2005

I went in on some tickets to the Jayhawk Football 05, because basketball season is just to pass the time until Jayhawk spring football practice starts. As part of the package, I have two youth tickets to every game. I don't like to be around youths, so I've been giving the tickets away for free to people with youths. I was doing that on Saturday some official KU guy came up to me and called me a scalper. I kept telling him that I was giving the tickets away. He still called me a scalper and told me to get lost. It hurt my feelings. I'm not a scalper. I was trying to do a random act of kindness. This guy was promoting bad customer service policy. On the ticket is says that tickets cannot be resold for higher than face value. A sign by the stadium said that tickets cannot be for resale. I was not selling. I was giving. KU has really gotten full of itself. They keep upsetting all the fans. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:18 PM

Monday, August 15, 2005

-I got to hang with Manino last weekend. Manino is awesome. Manino ate baby backs. Manino offered to host theJEDMAN for every Sunday this year to watch NFL on his big TV.
-I've been to the Other Place a few times to get some pizza. For some reason when you order, they want you to give your name. In those situations I always use Steve because no one really understands the name JEDMAN when I say it, plus I need anonimity or my fans will mob me. Anyway, when I go in there now, the girl calls me Steve. She thinks my name is Steve. I've fooled her.
-I really need to find something to do. I think I should start fishing with the guys. I just have to find some guys to fish with. I'll have to figure out how to do that.

.: posted by Jed 7:24 PM

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Well, I can't stand Britney Spears anymore. I think she was a lot smarter when she was 17. It is unreal how dumb she is. I think most celebrities started out as freaks of mental nature, but some like Britney turn into freaks of mental nature as they get more famous. Everytime I see her on TV, I can only stand about 2 seconds of it. It is really painful. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:36 AM

I went to the Einstein Bagel place and they were out of hummus at 6 in the morning. I was destroyed. I'm a big chick pea fan. How could this happen? It shouldn't happen in the JOCO. That is bad management. I might never go there again. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:34 AM

Monday, August 01, 2005

This is the California report. It will take me awhile to write this so check back to see if there is more.

I went to California this July. My host family was Brent Wood and Luther. They were excellent hosts. They toured me and drove me around. Everyday was jam packed with non-stop activities of fun. Here are the highlights.
-Luther and I bought a cot at a high tech camping store. Then, we carried on the subway and ate some Japanese food. We then took it on the subway. It was in a big box so we could smash people that messed with us. This cot turned out to be a good buy. I slept on it the almost the whole time. It was comfortable and easy on my back.
- I made pickle snacks and they were good pickle snacks. Pickle snacks are easy to make. Put pickles on plate and serve.
-We rode boats. We rode the ferry from Oakland to SF several times. Then, we road a big bay cruiser with a bunch of italianos. I like boats. Boats are good. When you make it in the world you have boats. I guess I haven't made it yet. I don't even have boat.
-Brent Wood, Luther and I ate crab sandwiches in the shadow of the bay bridge with a nice leafy green salad. The crab was on good bread. Leafy green lettuce is good.
-We went to Yosemite. We rode bikes through the park. I grilled potatoes, corn, tofu dogs and pork and beans in the shadows of El Capitan. I dropped some of the food on the fire, but I served it to Brent Wood and Luther anyway.
-We went to the glacier hill in the park. We walked up farther. I was trapped by a bunch of crazys from Cincinnati. I was forced to take their picture.
-On the last day, Brent Wood came up with the quote of the trip. Brent Wood said to me, "Sometimes, we don't know how dumb you are."
-I ate a lot of fake meat. It was good sometimes and not so good other times, but I tell you that fake meat really goes through you. I liked that part of it.
-I biked the bridge. Brent Wood and Luther took their bikes over on the boat and I rented a bike. We road all along the water from the ball park to Marin county. It was fun. There were a lot of beautifulers on the trail. I destroyed the field, but I'm a strong rider.
-I learned a lot. I didn't know that actual Russians were in Northern California looking for otter pelts.
-I learned that you can make fake meat out of wheat.
-Brent Wood, Luther and I canoed the Russian River. We camped between the river and the highway and paddled 10 miles down the river. We crashed into trees, bushes and rocks, but we didn't turn the canoe over. We were awesome. It was fun.
-I drank two Jamba Juices in Berkeley. We also broke into the football stadium and took over crushing a cheerleading camp. I love Berkeley. I bought three Cal Berkeley T-shirts. I should go to grad school there.
-I got to see both live and dead fish in Chinatown and on Clement Street. I like fish.
-We ate omelets in Oakland.
-We hit all the neighborhoods. We hit Russian Hill, Castro, Mision, North Beach, Pacific Heights, Chinatown, Japan Town, Marina, Warf, etc. It was fun.
-I saw some really big dudes drinking really pink fluffy corporate coffee drinks with no sole on the street in the Castro. I tell you that corporate coffee with no sole is quite the racket.
-We rode the Bart to the Haight. I had to go so bad when we got there that I was able to use a portable unit outside the house of some beautifulers on the hill by the park near the Haight. Good thing they were doing construction.
-I decided that Pinot Noir is my favorite wine. I really like it. I think the good bottles start at $4.99. I'm a big Pinot fan.
-I ate a huge burrito in the Mision. It was awesome. Burritos are good.
-We went to the Coppola Wine place in the Napa Valley. There were beautifulers there. It was great.

.: posted by Jed 8:30 PM

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

I want to get a girlfriend. Then, I want her to break up with me. Then, I am going to get revenge plastic surgery. I'll get liposuction, a nose job and some new grass on the dome. What a better way to get back at an ex than to show off my new calf implants. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:26 PM

Sunday, June 12, 2005

I went to my neighborhood club recently. There was a guy in my stool. He's there sometimes. He never drinks anything but water. He brought in a bag of grapes for the girls. I never thought of doing that. There were grapes for the girls. Healthy snack options were provided. That is awesome. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 10:07 AM

I got the new Shakira CD. It is pretty good. It is not as guitar rocking as her last couple of CDs, but it is good. I like Shakira. She is not just some hot pop princess. She actually writes and produces all of her stuff. She's in total control. Plus, she writes a lot of songs about broken love. She writes about rage and fury. Shakira speaks of the despair pain that one can feel when another destroys the love. Shakira speaks on the longing for the love to return, but it never does and lonliness is the only friend left. Somtetimes the longing is better thant the real thing. I love the longing. The torture and the pain is the only thing that remains. It is great. They're are pretty good. They are interesting. When you lose a love, sometimes you just feel so worthless. Sometimes you feel relieved. It is interesting, because not everything is really happy all the time. People get screwed over in the end sometimes too. Happiness is in you mind. Happiness is not necessarily a result of who is physically present. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:53 AM

Saturday, June 04, 2005

I saw Lords of Dogtown the first time you could see it. It was awesome. it was about the dudes that started extreme skateboarding in Santa Monica. They skated in empty swimming pools because the drought in SOCAL. I love Santa Monica. I bet Brentwood missed the whole revolution. It reminded me of my first and only skateboard that I probably got in 1977. I got a CAL-240. It was awesome. I used to ride it down the hill in front of my house. I used to race Barney. Barney used to get is a down position. He looked stupid. Then, years later. It must have been 1985. I was an adult. There were this punk kids in the nieghborhood that had these big boards. They laughed at my skinny CAL-240. I raced this punk down the hill. The punk got scared and bailed and I beat him on my skinny CAL-240. I was awesome. I'm the JEDMAN. OUT!

.: posted by Jed 10:22 PM

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

In the JOCO, I see these women walking with these camal backs drinking systems. A camal back is like a backpack with a plastic water bladder. It has a tube that you can suck the water into your mouth leaving your hands free. They are designed for long distance bikers, hikers and runners. They are probably around $30-$50. I don't really think they are necessary for a 30 minute walk through the burbs, but you make the call. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:22 PM

PALISADES GIRL- Once in the dawning of 1980, Palisades girl took her covertable Mercedes Benz over to Fairfax High School. Palisades Girl started dating the wonder boy, Tony. They probably did some illegal stuff. They drove that Mercedes Benz all over West L.A. doing illegal stuff. Tony loved Palisades Girl. Tony loved her a lot, but Palisades Girl also loved a boy named Flea. She loved both of them so much that she coulnd't decide which one to pick. The real problem was that Tony and Flea were friends. They were good friends. They were musicians. They were the future kings of rock funk, not funk rock. Palisades Girl continued to date both Flea and Tony. Palisades Girl continued to do illegal stuff with both Flea and Tony. Neither Flea nor Tony knew that they were dating the same Palisades Girl. What was Palisades Girl to do?
Then, one night, Flea and Tony had a gig with their band. They both invited Palisades Girl the show. Palisades Girl went to the Whisky to see Flea and Tony play. Palisades girl also went to do illegal stuff. Palisades Girl was under 21. She was illegal to go to the show, but the author does not know the legal drinking age in West L.A. in 1980. So, the author is assuming Palisades Girl was doing illegal stuff. At the show, Palisades Girl saw Flea. Palisades Girl saw Tony. Palisades Girl could not hide her shame anymore. She did not want to hurt Flea, Tony nor the band. So she left before the encore and took off with the roadie from the band. His name was Moth Ball. Palisades Girl left with Moth Ball in the covertible Mercedes Benz. Tony and Flea were really upset that Palisades girl had midguided them over, but Flea and Tony were upset that they had to pack up all the gear. Palisades Girl and Moth Ball left West L.A. and went north. They went north to Cal-Berkeley to go to school. They did plenty of illegal stuff and they lived happily ever after, at least until Midwest boy came into play and ruined everyone's life forever, but at least the future kings of rock funk, not funk rock were spared. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:58 PM

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

I don't want the blog to turn into a sports thing, but I have to comment on the J.R. situation. J.R. should be kicked off the Jayhawk's round ball team. He attended a club that was on the list of places not to go to by the athletic department. He should not be allowed to play basketball anymore at the Universtiy of Kansas, but the University should honor his scholarship. J.R. will probably leave the University in that situation. He'll play ball in Kuiwait before he stays at KU with no basketball. Plus, he hasn't lived up to his hype. He can't shoot, drive or play defense. Let him leave to the NBA. Let's see if he makes it. My guess is that he'll be playing in Kuiwait next fall.
I don't know what happened, but it is my guess that someone messed with him and he stuck around too long and then some stuff got out of hand to the point when J.R. got knifed in the parking lot of the Moon Bar. My guess is that J.R. should have left a long time before the incident. Only bad things can happen when you are out past midnight. J.R. has should have realized that he is high profile. He's on TV. Everyone on TV is high profile. He doesn't have the same free life like Bon Chappell and me.
It is stupid to get into a fight. I tell my clients all the time that you can't fight. Fighting is wrong. When you fight, you allow someone else to control your behavior. It is so much better to walk away. I feel that you upset the opponent more if you walk away. I hate that revenge mentality that people have. It is dumb. Just leave. J.R. should have left the bar.
Speaking of the Moon Bar. It used to be the Village Inn. Back in my day in Lawrence, theSplinter, Scorteez and I used to frecuent that place late at night for a 2000 calorie death meal of eggs, gravy, bacon, chicken fried steak and pancakes. Those were the days. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:49 PM

Sunday, May 22, 2005

I've been playing good disc golf lately. I've increased the distance off the tee. I'm getting good. My short game is really not too bad. I've made several two's lately on shorter holes in Olathe. That is a good course. I like it. On 11, I chucked that thing all the way to the pin. I just had to drop it in for a deuce. I also deuced number 16 twice.
So, just when I think I'm playing good, I go play another course. I played Wyco last week. That is a long course. Most holes are Olathe are 200-500 feet. Wyco had a 700 foot hole. I threw that thing twice and I still couldn't see the pin. It has a lot of open field. the grass was really high. I couldn't find my disc sometimes. It was windy. The wind knocked my throws right out of the sky. I was terrible. I almost quit the game, but I continued and by continuing. I learned to love myself. Learning to love myself is the greatest love of all. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:38 PM

It has taken me awhile to get this posted, but I attended the Hooter's swimsuit competition. I heard about it on the radio and I saw them putting up the tent in the parking lot, so I had to go because I figured it would be a goldmine of blog material. It was dumb. There were a lot of people there. Some people seemed like they were taking it a bit too seriously. Basically what happened was the girls waked the cat walk about three or four times and they eliminated girls each time. They gave bios like, "She can't resist green m&m's and loves to lay out with friends in her spare time." Then, they each had to tell their favorite Hooter's moment. "Meeting people" was a popular response although the crowd didn't really listen when the girls talked. The two cheesy looking rubias got the most HOOTS from the crowd. One of them had some work done. She was way out of proportion. Eventually, they got down to the end. One of the prettiest girls won. The winner was a biology major/pre-med and she also worked in the cancer unit at the hospital. It almost made me hope for a little curable cancer just to have her work to save me. The winner got $500 and a trip to Miami to compete for Miss Hooter International. It was just good clean fun.
My favorite bartender was there. Thank the world. She is a model of efficiency. I've been in there other times and the bartender doesn't keep the bar clean. Glasses sit there after people leave. Ashh trays are never emptied. The ketchup top gets crusty. Not when my favorite bartender is there, No.
I walked down there. On the way home after the contest I was walking and I hit some dirt that I knew was there, but then I took another step and I sank ankle deep into mud. It caked on to my new walking shoes. The more steps I took the more I sank it. I guess that was my punishment for attending an event that exploits women. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:15 PM

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

I got a lot of clients that like juice bags. I borrowed someone's Costco card to get some reduced price juice bags. I dont' know if it is Costco or Cosco. I'm not willing to do the research to find out. It was a warm sunny day. I went in the store. I made it passed the first line of security. I got my box of 40 juice bags and arrived at the check out aisle. The checker looked at the picture on the card. It was not me. I was busted. Managers came from all over the sotre. They were not going to let me have my juice bags. I told them that I was going to start screaming like a mad fool if I didn't get my juice bags. This got their attention. But, they still took me into the employee break room and took my picture and plastered it up all over the place. I am not allowed to enter Costco again. I'm banned from the Costco forever. I see this as a positive. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:03 PM

Saturday, May 07, 2005

It has taken a long time, but I have figured out the maximum amount of beer to drink in one sitting. I have researched and researched this figure for many years. I think Bon Chappell can back me up on my extensive research. The magic perfect maximum figure is 28 oz. Drinking any more is too much. 28 oz. gives the perfect amount of relaxation without turning one into a yeahoo. 28 oz. doesn't make you feel bad. 28 oz. doesn't make you tired 28 oz. doesn't dry you out. No one should drink more than 28 oz. in one sitting. I have surpassed the magical 28 oz. figure many times. I think Bon Chappell can back me up on that one as well. It the same day you can probably have two sittings with separate 28 oz intakes, but there needs to be time between the two sittings. Hours of time. However, plan on being a tubber if you have multiple sittings everyday.
The only problem is quiting at 28 oz. You get to that figure and you think you can have one more, then one more becomes two more. It is tough to quit. You know you should quit, but you stay out there. You have to have a taste without total indulgement. This is tough. l was always praised for eating a lot ast a kid and I turned into a porker. I'm a porker. I have trouble out running my deamons as a porker. Lately i've done a good job at ending my porker days. I eat beans intstead of the chicken fried steak. I'm less of a porker now than I was when I drank beers and ate and ate food food. Sometimes now t he deamons come back. The DEAMONS. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:53 PM

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Well, I attended a power alternative pop rock chick show tonight. I saw Sarah Mclachlan at the big arena. It was pretty good. I like girls that sing good that I would want to have lunch with. Ms. Sarah played all the songs to keep the pop kids happy, like me. This was another good showing of my support for Canadian Power Trios. I was the Rush twice and The Triumph once. I saw a couple of Bryan Adams Videos and Helen Ready and Alanis Morrisette scared me. Neil Young and I actually had and still have 2 Loverboy albums. theJEDMAN supports Canadian Power Trios. theJEDMAN is an athletic supporter. Sarah Mclachlan is just one person you say. Well, you take any three persons in her band and that is a trio.
Rock shows are kind of expensive, but they are fun. I like the live music played by professional musicians that write the stuff. Nothing is more boring than a bar cover band. The Red Zone used to bore me to tears. I don't spend money on video games so, I figure I can go to a couple or arena rock shows a year. Plus, I like to travel. I'm into experiences, not possessions. Experiences turn us into the people that we are. Have you ever been to someone's house where they spend a lot of time talking about things they have. I have. It is unfortunate, but I guess that not everyone can be responsibility free like me. There were probably 6,000 well-behaved fans in the arena for this rock show. I like these medium size shows. It makes it easy to get a drink and really easy to go to the bathroom. Parking is cheaper. It is awesome.
It wouldn't be pop rock star blog without a commentary on security. Ms. Mclachlan or the future Mrs. Jedman as I like to think of her is married to some guy in the band. That is very convenient. Sarah is locked into this world where she has been misguided by a security force that keeps her form meeting men like theJEDMAN. She ends up settling rather than finding true love. Anyone can date someone in the band. I could date in the band. Ms. Sarah deserves and shall have so much more than just some doofus in the band. She shall have lunch with theJEDMAN.
There was an opening act. The Perishers. I think they shoud rethink that name. Wise guys like me are having field day with that one. Gee, I wished the Perishers would have perished before they got on stage. After hearing the Perisher's new record, I wished they would have perished before the last one. I hope the Perishers perish before there is another tour. See ya!
Then, the car lights got left on and I we caught a ride back to Raytown with Terry. I was in Raytown after midnight. Raytowna after midnight. Raytown after midnight looking for a fight. I was in Raytown after midnight. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 12:12 AM

Thursday, April 28, 2005

There is this show on MTV that has people doing plastic surgery to look like their favorite celebrity. Usually the people are young and do not have the qualities coveted by the superficial man. The people are kind of crazy and don't end up looking any better after surgery. On the latest one, I saw this really nice looking woman. She was young, but you couldn't tell until she talked. I never can tell the age until the person talks. So it wasn't really this girl's fault. This chick wanted to look like that Spears girl. She got pumped up up top and got some fat put into her face and some stuff sucked out of there and over there. $25,000 later, she looked like a freak. She looked fine before, but now she had these big balloons protruding out of her chest and got made up and highlighted up into looking like a freak. It was great. Then, she wants to be an exotic dancer and get into the Playboy mansion. Great!. Now you would think that the superficial man would love this show, but I found it kind of disturbing. I felt bad enough looking at early 20 year old girls on TV, but then to have her destroy herself in the name of that Spears girl was too much for me to handle. I lost some faith in humanity and I'm still upset that the Spears girl never graduated high school. theJEDMAN

I went to take care of my parking ticket. When I was leaving the drop off place. This Volvo pulls up behind me. The car was kind of close and it would be a tight fit to back out of my space. There were lots of open spaces there. I motioned to the guy to move, but the person just sat there drinking a soda. I got out of the car and motioned but the freak just sat there. I finally got tired of waiting and I just backed carefully out trying to avoid the car. I drove past the freak and he just kept setting there. They stayed there for a long time as I drove away. It was weird. theJEDMAN

There are three Subways close to where I work. Everything else is a fried food hell. So, I go to the Subway 1 or 2 times a week. Subway is ending the Sub Club Cards. What customer loyalty can I demonstrate now? I sacrificed for the organization and now I get nothing free. I know why they did it because the employees steal those stamps and give them to their friends. I'm being penalized again, just like with Shakira's security force is penalizing her from true love with theJEDMAN. When will the madness end? I think I might have to go to Bridgeport, Connecticut to have a word with Mr. Deluca. Maybe he can get me a lunch date with Shakira over a meatball sub. Then true love can begin for her. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:33 PM

Saturday, April 23, 2005

I was terrible out there. I played the Rosedale course. It was windy. The wind was knocking my discs out of the air. I could have quit, but I didn't. I could have threw in the towel, but I didn't. I enabled myself to continue. I 2 stroked the 5th hole. That was pretty good. I persevered. I was in control of my destiny. I didn't quit. I empowered myself to succeed. I felt really good about myself. I was out there in the park on the course by myself and I really felt good about my accomplishment. Because by learning to love my play on the course, I learned to love myself. Loving yourself is "the greatest LOVE of all." Next week, when I chuck another disc into the trees and can't find it. I'll have to learn to love myself all over again.
I followed these guys to the pin on the 3rd hole. You have to walk back to the tee at 3 to get to 4. When I got to the pin it smelled like they had blazed up. One of them was a long hair. "Dope smoking morons. Don't make me yawn." theJEDMAN

I was watching my Shakira Concert DVD. It has this part on it where Shakira is kissing some guy. The worst part about it is the guy is not me. She was kissing some dark long haired scruffy bearded Latin heartthrob guy. She can get that anywhere. Where can she get the theJEDMAN? Right here in the Midwest. I probably look pretty exotic to her. The problem with the world is security. Shakira is a pop superstar. The way the world is today Shakira is required to have too much security. This is keeping her from achieving the true love that she needs and deserves from theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 4:06 PM

Sunday, April 17, 2005

I rode my bike 15 miles today and I played disc golf. I was really bad out there at Prairie Center, but I nailed two long puts to get a 2 on two of the holes. On 10, I jacked it in from about 70 feet. It was a great throw. It was luck, but it takes an athlete to get it there to have a chance. I 2 threw that hole. On 12, I nailed another long put this one from 80-90 feet. It was luck again. I hook that sucker in there with my XL driver. It was a good throw. I 2 threw that hole. I'm awesome. I'm theJEDMAN
My bartender was not at my Hooter's on Saturday. It was devastating. I had not been there for awhile. I hope she hasn't ended her term of employment. I might not be able to go there anymore. Plus, some doofus was taking up the good seat next to the beer taps at the bar. That is where the server station is. That is the best place to sit. All the servers have to pick up stuff there at some point in the evening. It is the bar stool coveted by the superficial man. Speaking of the superficial Man. I don't want to get a bad rap for this. There are many kinds of man. There is the intellectual man. There is the sporting man. There is the sensitive man. There is the caring man. There is the respectful man. The is the super buffet connoisseur man.There is the subconscious man. I've been all of these at one time or another in my life. I cannot exist being only the superficial man. It is only a small part of theJEDMAN. It cannot be all encompassing. Things or ideas that are solely superficial bore theJEDMAN in a very short time. Superficial things are not lasting. Superficial things are shallow and lack depth. theJEDMAN needs depth to live. Give theJEDMAN depth! I'll die in the shallow end. Push me out to the deep ocean. It is just that superficial things are good blog material. Mocking superficial things are what my blog fans want and deserve. We are not curing cancer. We are not fixing bad heart rythmn problems. We are only providing social commentary on societal mores. Sometimes when I have a superficial man momment I feel gross and disgusted with myself.
Now for some important blog writing.I've been watching some bad TV lately. I'm into these reality shows. I'm giving my take on them.
*Bachelor-This show is way better than the bachelorette. The women they get on this show are pretty good for the superficial man. They fight, yell at each other and some of them are unstable. They take off their dresses to win the dude. The dudes they get on the bachelorette are too normal, but I guess that they can't put scary dudes on there for the bachelorette. The women get so upset when they get eliminated. It seems that they don't understand anything about odds. They start with 25 girls. There can only be one winner. That is a 4% percent chance of being the winner. Plus, how many swimsuit models from Edmonton, Alberta can there be in the world? They have two on the show. I should be on this show. I'd be good quality TV.
*Amazing Race-You know I've never watched this one before until the recent incarnation. I guess this is the 7th one they have had. This is pretty good. You get to see the places they go pretty good. The last show that had was in India. It was interesting. This show is a little tedious seeing the same people run from place to place over and over. The only problem here is the two of the partner teams on the show that were coveted by the superficial man were eliminated on the first few epidodes. How is the superficial man supposed to keep watching? How is the superficial man supposed to stay interested if the two rubia teams are gone? There is a group of senior citizens left and a couple of alternative guys. Both groups are kind of annoying. I mean I'm not against them. People can do and be whatever they want as long as they are not annoying.
*Next Top Model-You would think the superficial would be watching this one, but not this superficial man. They don't do stunts jor feats of strength. No reason to watch. Sports Illustrated swimsuit model search did stunts and feats of strength. That made it good.
*Fear Factor-I'm convinced that the contestants have to submit full body glossy photos for this one. I like the stunts, but not the gross stuff. I really don't see this one very much.
*American Idol-I hate it. I refuse to watch it. It is unfortunate.
*Apprentice-I like this one, but the latest edition has eliminated all contestants coveted by the superficial man. There is one semi-cute woman left, but she has a name that I don't like. I would break up with her just because of her name which is a purely superficial reason.
*Chasing Farrah-This is pretty good. I think Farrah has gotten a bad rap. She's not too dumb, but I think she is victim of her fame I think fame turns most people into freaks. How could she not be some sort of freak when one of her fans gets her to autograph is arm and he goes and gets it permanently tattooed. I think being famous means that one stupid thing you do gets played on TV over and over. Farrah doesn't look too bad. She is 59 years olds. She' a little hagy, but she's alright. Jaclyn Smith and Cheyl Ladd probably have aged better, but all three of them have qualities coveted by the superficial man. Plus, Farrah was with the Six Million Dollar Man. Six Million Baby! I watched the show they shot at her parents home right before her mother died. It was touching. I had a tear in my eye.
*Nick and Jessica are done, so they have this tattooed freak on the MTV with this hot rubia. I have no idea who these people are, but I can't stand looking at tattoo dude. Plus, they have kids together. So, I won't be TIVOing that one. It freaks me out too much. I don't really have TIVO anyway.
*Desperate Housewives-I know it is not reality, but it is pretty good for the superficial man. If a place like that really existed, boys from all over the city would be infiltrating that neighborhood looking and fighting to do all kinds of landscaping at the homes of those women.
*Contender-It's ok. I like the stunts they do. I hate the intimate family scenes. I'm just not a big enough boxing fan to watch.
OUT! theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:58 PM

Sunday, April 10, 2005

I'm going to talk about sports again even though this may be kind of boring. Coach Roy won the title. I was hoping he would win to shut up all the Jayhawk fans that are still crying about him leaving and being a traitor. His big win hasn't seemed to work. Coach Roy gave you 15 years of top 10 basketball to the Jayhawks. There was never an 17-11 season in there. 25 wins a year was the norm. He ended the competitive rivalry with KSU. At the time when KU and KSU played in the regional final in 1988, they had similar basketball histories. KU might have had more, but KSU was not too far behind. Coach Roy killed the rivalry by never losing to them.
Sure Larry Brown won the title in 1988. He is a great coach. He had probably one of the greatest college players of all time on his team. The rest of the team were nice players and they played way over their heads to win that championship. The point being here is that KU could have easily gone downhill at the time when Coach Roy came. He won imedialty with a bunch of nice players. I don't think anyone until Sexy Rexy Walters played in the NBA from Coach Roy's teams. There was a 30 win season Roy's second year there. Coach Roy gave KU fans great basketball.
Coach Roy is a good guy. Is he not supposed to leave after 15 years of excellence in one place? 15 years is a long time to Coach or even hold the same job anywhere. Is Coach Roy not supposed to take a phone call from a former player if he receives one? It is his duty as an educator to do this. Coach Roy had family in Carolina and family issues that may have warranted him to go back. Is he not allowed to do this? Many people would do what Coach Roy did. I feel that KU fans should be celebrating what Coach Roy has done and did at KU, not saying bad things about him.
I'm writing this and I don't even really like basketball that much anymore. I don't like the way the game is played. Sure, I watch the games, but not all the time. The players just stand around and shoot three pointers or they steamroll someone in the post. No one moves anymore away from the ball. No one has a mid-range game. No one has any good post moves anymore. The game bores me. The college game has more or less turned in the NBA. The only reason to watch is to see the last two minutes of close game. I'm out. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 1:47 PM

Sunday, April 03, 2005

I got to watch the final four on a big TV. After the games, I got to go clubbing. I' hadn't been clubbing for a long time. I got to experience FUEL. FUEL is a club in the South Creek City Urban Core. It is dangerous. FUEL has an auto racing theme, even though there is not much auto racing stuff there. They have some car rims and a car hood on the ceiling. They got a lot of TV's. One of which played motorcycle stunts ove and over. FUEL had really loud heay metal music playing the whole time. It was loud. You had to scream at people to talk to them. But, the real deal with FUEL is the servers. The servers are all little girls with little shirts and little pants. About every 15 minutes or so the servers get up on the bar and dance. Women from the clients are allowed to get up on the bar and dance as well. This is a pretty good sight for the superficial man. One of the servers was heavily tattooed all over her back. I wondered what will happened to her when she gets old and wrinkled. You won't be able to see the tattoo. It will look like a big distorted skin cancer splotch. There were a lot of women in there. There were a lot of tattoos and dangling jewelry on the mid-section. I've never been a fan of mid-section hard wear, especially hard wear that dangles. Dangling mid-section wear is not classy in the world of theJEDMAN. I tell you the tops on girls keep getting smaller and smaller. I don't remember it being that way back in my formative years in the 1980s. With this kind of fashion trend, the superficial man will live on. The part of the brain that is the superficial man will always be entertained. We'll see how different it is in about six months from now on my next clubbing adventure. Now let's measure FUEL on the skank-o-meter. I give FUEL a 7. out of 10. For the score to be higher the entertainment needs to get more trashy and I need to feel threats to my physical well-being.
I should be getting an expense account to do this. I could go around and review clubbing venues. It would be great. People would be really trying to make my experience in their club great. I would get free meals and free drinks, because theJEDMAN is the voice of reason in the metro area. I have qualifications for this. I have social science degrees. I am educated man with powerful insights that can make or break hot spots. I can build a club up into a financial empire or I can crush a club out of business. I'm theJEDMAN. I'm out. theJEDMAN

Hey, I played disc golf with some pros. I played with pros. I played pretty good, but those dude throw that disc all the way to the pin sometimes. A good throw for me is getting it half way to the pin. I don't know if I'll ever be able to throw it that far. My upper back gets kind of jacked up and I don't think I have the strength. Oh well, I played with pros. They were drinking beer on the course. I learned some disc golf etiquette. These clowns were into, but maintained a certain amount of control to have fun out there wtithout being too intense. It was great. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 10:59 AM

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

BLOG WARS-I've been sitting here for an hour because I thought that I had something intersting to blog today, but I don't. I think that most of know that it is really tough for me to say anything interesting. I have a few readers now and I'm struggling to keep the juggarnaut that is theJEDMAN going. The auora of theJEDMAN is a O billion dollar a year industry. That has to be kept going, not for me, but for the fans. Now, I've got a huge lead on that dude over there at iberiannotes.blogspot.com. That guy is a clown compared to me. I've schooled that guy. I've out punched that guy. I've outwitted that guy. I"ve eaten way more beef than that guy. theJEDMAN is an unstoppable literary force and will destory iberiannotes if iberiannotes tries to take what is theJEDMAN. I'm a dynasty. Iberiannotes is a travesty. I advise everyone in the freeworld to stop reading iberiannotes now. Switch to theJEDMAN. You won't regret it. theJEDMAN
*Yeah, I know this is garbage, but what can I do.

.: posted by Jed 6:14 PM

Thursday, March 24, 2005

I didn't go to work this week. I did nothing but read the paper, drink coffee, burn cds(I had never done this before so it was a big moment for me), watch movies that I've already seen, and sleep. It was everything I ever dreamed it could be. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:56 PM

I saw Penelope Cruz on TV the other day and she has a new boyfriend. The new boyfriend is not me. It seems she's going out with another guy that she did a movie with. Are there no quality men out there for Miss Penelope to date. Why does she have to continually pick those dope smoking freakshow Hollywood types that get arrested for having loud parties with hip hop death metal country punk music in the Hollywood Hills. I tell you why. It is too much security personal. The security personal form an impenetrable zone between the quality men and Miss Penelope. Miss Penelope does not know what she is missing. Her people are advising her in the wrong way. I'm not thinking about me, but one possible key to Miss Penelope's happiness is meeting a quality person. With better security, she could meet and date theJEDMAN. Think about it. It could be Mrs. Penelope Cruz-theJEDMAN. It is not just Penelope. It is other celebrities with bad security forces. There could be Mrs. Salma Hayek-theJEDMAN or Mrs. Shakira-theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:37 PM

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

I wasn't going to say anything about the Jayhawks' defeat, but I feel I owe it to the public to give my take. It wasn't a surprise. The Jayhawks have been playing with an anemic offense all year long. They had trouble scoring. Consistent guard play has been absent all year long. I've been saying for two years that the Jayhawks have been playing un-watchful basketball. They play half-court all the time. They try to pound the ball in the post or kick out to a spot up three or someone goes one on one. In a word, BORING! This is what pretty much every team does. This is a big reason why I don't like college basketball as much as I used to. They only dunk and shoot three pointers. Get rid of the three point line. Move and shoot from somewhere else on the court. You can't expect big Wayne to do 30 post moves a game from the block. They never tried to run. They rarely pressed. They hardley ever forced any turnovers. All of these things Coach Roy's teams did. Coach Roy's teams were always different. Coach Roy's teams played a more watchable brand of basketball. The Jayhawks were so lucky to have coach Roy. If he hadn't come and hadn't worked out, there could have been really have bad basketball.
This was a bad loss. Nothing against Bucknell, but the Jayhawks lost to a team that only has four or five scholarship players from a league that had never one a game in the NCAAs. Perennial top 10 teams just don't lose to opponents like that. This loss makes last years final 8 look like it was just a Coach Roy hangover. This is the first step to Self being on the hot seat. If he has a bad year next year and loses in the first round again. Self will be on the hot seat. With no players returning that have proven they can play, it will most likely get worse before it gets better. I hope the team plays well next year for all those Jayhawks yeahoos out there. I hope they sick around for a 17-12 season. That is a losing season for Jayhawk yeahoos. We'll see. Remember sports are just not that important. They are just entertainment. So, enjoy the sport, but it is not life or death. There is no reason to get too high to low over a victory or loss. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:03 AM

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

I bought two new jackets. I got a 30-50 degree jacket and at 50+ degree jacket. They are awesome. I made good purchases. I ordered out of a catalog. I usually don't like doing that because I have to feel what I'm buying first. These jackets rock. I've been searching for a jacket for a long time. All the jackets at stores are not good. I'm just glad my quest is over. theJEDMAN

I've gone to some games of this lower level college basketball tournament. They have a lot of games back to back. At halftime of the games, they have these kids teams play at both end of the court. One time they had 9 girls playing at one end. One girl had to sit out as the rest played 4 on 4. They were probably 10 or 11 years old. There were two dads there on the court as they were playing. They played for about ten minutes and never once did the girl on the side get in the game. She stood anxiouly on the side the whole time. Why didn't someone put her in the game? It is a big time playing in a big arena where Walt Hazzard played. Those stupid dads probably destoried this girls athletic career. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 3:41 PM

Sunday, March 06, 2005

I finally broke down and bought another computer. I'm sure Mr. Dell is happy. My last Mr. Dell computer quit working last summer. I got really mad at it and took it apart and put the pieces all over the house in the middle of the floor. It was awesome trying not to trip over them everyday. I had just used computers at work since then. I just didn't want to give Mr. Dell any more money. I hate technology, but I want to buy a MPS player to download some music for my massive 2 hours walks through the suburban streets that I love.

It was finally nice enough to hit the disc golf links. I played both Saturday and Sunday this weekend. I actually kept score today. I shot a 73. Not good. 1 over jedpar. Jedpar=not really par, but what Jed thinks it should be. I would have done better, but I blew a put on 18 and I rocketed my tee shot on 11 into an evergreen 10 feet from the tee. Then, I hit several trees on all of my shots in the woods on 15. Overall I recovered well. They have a league out at this place in Olathe. I might go play in it. My arm is strong and accurate. I'm getting that good.

Iberiannotes is putting stuff on their blog about theJEDMAN. Check out the Iberiannotes.

It is a little late, but I went to the Manino's Super Bowl Party. It was awesome. They had big Shrimp, pit group, and beef plenty of beef. They had beef in the soup and beef in the sandwiches. It was beef. BEEF, not to good for my colon, but good Super Bowl food. I watched every minute of the game from the pit group with my feet up. It was awesome. I love the Manino. I live for the Manino. theMANINO is awesome.

So, I'm back on the blog. Bookmark the blog. Read the blog once a week. I'm going to write at least one thing a week. Be adults. I shouldn't have to send out reminders. Support theJEDMAN. Support the blog. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:51 PM

Sunday, January 23, 2005

I have a friend that knows a country music superstar and has had the country music superstar at his house for lunch. However, this friend has done nothing introduce me or even put me in the same area as this country music superstar. Just, like Brentwood failed to get Patty over when I was cooking swordfish and salmon on the grill in the compound on the west coast. Also, Riucorb didn't help me with the girl at the pool in Catalonia 1995. I did my own talking in Spanish last fall and met a nice Latina. Maybe that is my problem. I've been using English all these years. I should forgo using English at all costs. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 10:08 AM

Chadwell says that Jean has a big butt and fat ankles
Chadwell says that Jean eats too many desserts at the Golden Corral
Cheesecake, pie and fudge, fudge, fudge.

But, Jean is beautiful, no matter what Chadwell says.
Chadwell's words can't bring Jean down. Oh no.
Jean is beautiful in each and every way.
So, Chadwell, don't you bring Jean down today.

Chadwell says that Jean drinks too much beer
and hits the bacon and gravy buffet too often.
Chadwell says that Jean has hag hair
and a big mouth. She asks too many questions

But Jean is beautiful no matter what Chadwell says.
Chadwell's words can't bring Jean down. Oh no.
Jean is beautiful in each and every way.
So, Chadwell, don't you bring Jean down today.

.: posted by Jed 10:01 AM

Thursday, December 23, 2004

I got a new cell phone. My number is still the same. The coveted #1 position in my call list inside my cell phone is up for grabs. I think I'll give it to the person that sucks up to me the most. Since no one really reads my blog, I might have an empty phone book for a long time. To Bon Chappell, when you google search theJEDMAN, you only get me. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 2:33 PM

Monday, December 20, 2004

I got to go to another good party this weekend. I got to hang at Manino's house. Manino is awesome. Manino is the man. Manino had a big TV and we watched large men smash each other with Fiber glass helmets. Manino had good snacks and comfortable chairs to sit in. Manino told me to come back anytime. Interesting.
I've gone to two good parties in consecutive weekends. This is good. It has restored my faith in people a little bit. I was having too many opportunities to hang with people that could lower my standard of living too much. I mean not that I'm a snob, but I just know when something won't work or create possibilities of conflict and complications. I've had possibilities to enter relationships that would just not work for theJEDMAN. So, I've been finding stuff to do on my own. There are some things that theJEDMAN just does not want to do. It is tough being theJEDMAN.
One thing that both parties were missing was a cute vegan chef girl. I've waited all my life for a cute vegan chef girl. If I had a cute vegan chef girlfriend, I could really eat a lot of vegetables. I like vegetables. Vegetables are good. I like the fiber. I take all that medication that wreeks havoc on my system. Those vegetables make things go smoothly. I'll tell you those vegetarians got something going. When I eat vegetarian food, I feel pretty good. I may not get full and I may feel hungry later, but I feel good. Drinking soda, sugar, salt and alcohol can make you feel like crap. Eating a lot of that junk just makes your body crave it more. Plus, I don't think humans were meant to eat big slabs of meat all the time. We are only supposed to eat little slabs of meat. I'll probably never be a vegetarian, but I'm going to eat a lot of vegetables to jam those little slabs of meat through my colon faster. I think if I had a cute vegan chef girlfriend, it would be an upgrade for theJEDMAN. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 10:45 PM

Sunday, December 12, 2004

After ripping through the Topflight league with a league best 12-1 record including a 12 game winning streak to start the season, it appears that my team, theJEDHEADS, have pulled a Cheaps. I fear that I will lose in the first round of the playoffs. It is devastating to me. This was supposed to be my championship season, but my defeat is inevitable. For the last 7 weeks I've been getting everyone's best game. In my league is not uncommon for guys to win 60-40. In almost every game this year, I've had to score over 100 points to win. In my only defeat, my opponent had to break my single game scoring record to beat me. The players of my opponents week after week have had career days. This has happened to me in the playoffs. Some guy named T.J. scored four TD's today to help seal my fate as a first round flop. It is crushing to me. This was to be theJEDHEADS championship season. This was supposed to be the season of theJEDHEADS. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:45 PM

I went to a classy party on Saturday night. It was in an exclusive neighborhood with flat houses, square shapes and car ports. I was let into the neighborhood even though I was wearing sneakers. The party was small. At any one time, there were only around 10 people there. There were couples. There were single guys. I don't think there were any single girls there, but the party was awesome anyway. There were people with good shoes there. There were people without shoes there. The party was held mostly in the kitchen. It was an awesome open kitchen with big counter tops for a party. Many people could hang there. The kitchen is always the best spot at any party. They had designer beer, good dip and chocolates. There were lots of things to see. There were tile floors and tile walls. There was a guy w/o shoes. There was art and collectibles. There were globes, swizzle sticks and a big spatula. There were quality people there. There were professionals and academics. The party had international people too. There was a guy w/o shoes. I chatted with a few people. Most of the people at the party were strangers to me. I didn't chat a lot as I was in awe the whole time there. I wanted to take in the moment and preserve it as a lasting image. I wanted this moment to connect to as many schema in my beautiful mind as it could.
This was like an exclusive L.A. party, but in the land of the Creek City. I didn't know that a world like this could exist in the middle of the Creek City. I hadn't had much faith in humanity lately. I could only stand to be by myself a tad bit more than I could stand being with people. This party was different. It was posh without being stuffy. It was elegant without being extravagant. It was a lovely without being an over the top gala. It was absent of yeahooness. Lately, I have had a tremendous disdain for anything yeahoo. There was nothing yeahoo here. There was a guy w/o shoes. It was a lovely evening. I enjoyed the party. I was fortunate to go. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:06 PM

I think I want to fight Pipi. I think it would be a good fight. I would definitely crush him. It would be 10 rounds of championship boxing. I think it would be worth millions. I've got height, reach, weight, sex appeal, hair follicles and intelligence over Pipi. I would toy with him for one round and then let the hammer fall in round two. Yeah, I think I want to fight Pipi. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 6:59 PM

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Man, I went to work without a belt on Monday. My cotton dockers had no friend. I felt and looked like a dope. To be complete, the outfit needs a belt. I usually am very careful to match my belt with my shoes. My shoes had no match. Fashion is everything to me. I was in fashion turmoil. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:46 PM

Sunday, December 05, 2004

I have nothing to do, so I went to the new Olathe Hooter's. I know it is one of those places in the burbs with no soul, but it was awesome. I knew that they would stockpile that place with talent for the opening and they did. They imported girls from other Hooter's nation wide. They were talented. I go for the wings. I don't ever eat fried food anymore, but I like those wings. I figure I can eat them twice a year. I think I like the OP one better. There are better sight lines there. Plus, you can really sit close to the deep fryer. So close that you get hit with lard. Also, the cloths line goes right out into the dining area. Then, you can really see those orders go in. I think there are 4 Hooter's in the metro. I want to do a JEDMAN Hooter's reality tour. I'd hit all four Hooter's in the metro on the same day. It would be awesome. The only guys stupid enough to do this with me would be the Barcelona "Bad Boy" and Oswego. Neither would want to do it, but Oswego would do it out of loyalty to theJEDMAN. The Bad Boy would do it just to get the free beer that I would buy. It could be awesome. theJEDMAN

My fantasy team in the TOPFLIGHT league finally lost in the last regular season game of the year. I finished 13-1, but I earned the number 1 seed in the playoffs. I got murdered in the last game, but I still scored over 100 points, which was enough to win almost every other game in my league. Guys are having the games of their careers when they play me. Well, I'm either going to win in the playoffs or pull a Chiefs and get beat in the 1st round. Wish theJEDHEADS good luck. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:15 PM

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

After ten weeks of the TOPFLIGHT league fantasy football season, my team, theJEDHEADS, are 10-0. I'm tearing up the league. I've been crushing other teams. Run TIKI Run is our battle cry. I'm in great position for a glorias championship season. I'm in position to win thousands of dollars. It is the year of theJEDHEADS. theJEDHEADS rule! theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 6:58 PM

Sunday, November 14, 2004

I needed to take a shower and I had no soap. I went to get some soap. It was around noon. I was hungry. I hadn't had any bar food in a long time. I went to Tanner's to get some fries, dead cow and watch the first half of the Chiefs game. It was quite the world in there watching football and drinking on a Sunday at noon. I was sitting at the bar and these lushes were next to me. It was one o'clock and these people had already had 4 big cups of bud light and it wasn't even half time yet. The Bears game was on close by so there were some good drunks. I eat. Then, this hag starts talking to me. She called me Peyton and said that I looked like Peyton Manning the NFL QB. Then she goes on and on trying to guess my name. Anyway, she was probably my age, but she look like she was 50. She was thin. She was drunk. She probably stayed thin because she doesn't eat and she smokes a lot and gets all of her nutrition from barley and hops. I gave her the brush off because she was just plan too scary. So I drank my one beer, paid my bill and got the hell out of there. I've been attraching all kinds of weirdos lately. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:10 PM

I have this bad habit of going to Hooter's. It is my neighborhood bar. I like sitting at the bar, because I like watching the cooks, all the servers come there eventually, and the bartender is friendly and nice to me and she remembers me each time I go in. I don't like it when she is not working. She is always there on weekend nights. The other bartenders are not as friendly. Well, she's my bartender, so I have this vision of her in my head. Well, her husband came in the other night and sat by me. I talked to the guy. He had just run over a crotch rocket rider. My whole vision is shot. I didn't want to go out with her and I don't care if she's married, but actually meeting her husband shatters my mental world. Fantasy added a real element. Fantasy and reality should be separate. I have nothing else to live for, but what goes on in my mind. That is the great thing about your mind. No one can take what is in your mind away from you. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:01 PM

Monday, October 04, 2004

I know I haven't written too much lately. I just haven't been in the mood. The B-Bad Boy is here in town. We've spent some time at Hooter's. We took fogona down there to get some chicken wings. I love it down there. I get the best service. The B-Bad Boy and I hit Lawrence on Sunday. We made some of the rounds. I really feel at home. Other than that, I haven't done anything. I've just dealt with some personal turmoil and fight off some demons. I did get an opportunity to hang with female colleagues at a club the other night. It was great. I got asked by one of them how often I needed relations with a woman. I didn't really know how to answer. They didn't buy the answer that I gave. This entry is no good, so I'm going to quit now. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:13 PM

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

I know I'm a perv. I ordered the Avril CD off one of those mail order buy 1 CD get fifty free deals. I can justify it because I can use it at work. Avril rocks. She plays power pop guitar rock. She has a pop edge. I know it is bad, overproduced, teenage girl music, but I love it. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:56 PM

Monday, June 28, 2004

I was duped. There was this Mix 93.3 all day rock show at the amphitheater formally known as Sandstone last Saturday. It was mostly acts that I've never heard of or people that just are in my musical attraction template, but theLIZ was going to play at 8:30. Make any sacrifice for theLIZ. I got out there in plenty of time to see theLIZ. I plop down $20 to get in. I sit through some clown called JC and Hulk Hogan's offspring. At 8:30, theLIZ did not appear. Some other pretty boy metrosexual band played. They changed the order of acts. I was crushed. I checked the website at 6:30 before I left. They could've posted a change. People have these websites and don't update them. This is wrong. There were people pulling into the parking lot and buying tickets when I got there so late in the show. How can I follow theLIZ with these errors in technology. It would have been like Angie missing the RED ZONE.I was duped. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:26 PM

Monday, May 31, 2004

I bled. I bled on the disc golf course. I sacrificed for the sport. I was playing rosedale. It is a tough course. My orange leopard disc collided with a tree and darted into the woods. I went in after it. I scaled down this steep incline through thick brush to retrieve my disc. I got pretty cut up on the way. I bled. I bled on my disc. I injured myself for the sport. I finished the round. I played pretty well. I nailed a 30 foot put right in front of some pros. I'm awesome. I'm theJEDMAN. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:39 PM

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

Last night, I went to the big Metallica/Godsmack show at the Kemper. It was loud. There was fire. It was loud. There were explosions. It was loud. There were lasers. It was loud. There were plenty of sights coveted by the superficial man. It was loud. There were bad fashion choices. I didn't gain any answers. I just had one question. Why do all the wrong women wear sexy heavy metal cloths? It was really sweaty hot in the arena, but I didn't see any tops come off. Overall, it was Kick A.
I didn't want to go to the show, but I felt I had to go. I owed it to the significance of the day and I owed it to the genre. I've spent my whole life worshipping at the heavy metal alter of San Franciscan molt and steel. Everything I am today is because of heavy metal. I owe my life to heavy metal. I don't know how I would have made it without heavy metal. I am heavy metal. I am love.
I took the Hero. I went through several plans to fill the spot, but the Hero stepped up to the plate. The Hero is awesome. theQUICK is theQUICK. theQUICK needs no explanation anywhere in the civilized world. theQUICK is in the big leagues. The Hero is the Hero.
Godsmack was ok. No need to review them. Metallica was pretty good. They played all the hits for the pop kids like me. They ended the show with entersandman as expected. They played for two hours. It was quite the endurance feat for theJEDMAN on the first day of his 38th year, but he made it and he didn't put in his ear plugs. He's a contender. He is the new champion. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:05 PM

Saturday, May 08, 2004

I played 27 holes of disc golf today in Olathe on 2 courses. I opened up the day at Prairie Center Park. There were a lot of people playing there. It is a good course. It is well marked with tee pads at every hole. There is just no distance on the markers. There are lots of trees that you have to maneuver around. There is one hole that has a minefield of trees to throw over, under around and through. There is one hole that has an island green. I played pretty well, except for 18 when I hit every tree on the fairway. My putting was good too. Drive for show, put for dough. Then, on the way home, I played at the California Trail. I was the only one playing this course. It is a nine hole course around the Jr. High. It is wide open. There is no way to lose your disc. The course is well marked, but there are no tee pads, but they give the yardage for every hole. I played well there on this windy course. I was given some new equipment. It worked out well. I've played 4 times this week. I thought my arm my give out, but it held up strong. My elastic band simulations are going well to strengthen the arm. I'm working on using the full body in the motion. I'm going to play 27 again tomorrow. I'll be ready to go pro soon. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:54 PM

Friday, May 07, 2004

I still haven't got a date for the Metallica show in 4 days. No chicks have responded. The only thing I can figure is that no chicks read the blog. This is surprising. Don't worry I'll be ok. Other people are missing out, not me. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:19 PM

I played disc golf three times this week. I played down at Rosedale Park. That course is awesome. It is a professional course. That's what has been holding me back, not playing on professional course. The one in Lawrence is not good. No marked tee off pads and crisscrossing of holes. Rosedale is the best.
You have to remember that I'm an athlete. I can throw that disc with power and control. I hit a lot of pars that last time. I even nailed a couple of long puts. One a curved around a tree branch into the basket. After the last time, my arm was a little tired, so I've been simulating the throwing motion with an elastic band to strenghthen the bread and butter of my sport, THE ARM. I don't know what I'll do if I can't play, but I'll be ok. You can make about $4.50 an hour on the pro tour, so I got that in my future. I'm looking good. theJEDMAN is an athlete. I'm a good spokesman for the sport. I would never do anything to hurt the sport. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:16 PM

Sunday, April 25, 2004

I got to go to a party sponsored for theQUICK. It was awesome. There was dip and chips. The dip was good. It had the proper guacamole to refried bean ratio. Plus, there were fritos scoops. The best chip for dip. I love dip. This dip was good. There is always the best dip around when theQUICK is around. The dip made the whole party. The dip was the party. I'll have to go to T-town again. My opportunities to hang with theQUICK in T-Town may be number. The bigger story is that the bobble heads days in T-Town are numbered. theQUICK is awesome. Support theQUICK. Love theQUICK. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 11:03 AM

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

I like salad, but I don't like it when the stuff is chopped up too small. I like big pieces of zuchini, cucumber, tomato, carrot, lettuce, onion, pepper, etc. I like big pieces that you have to chew. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:07 PM

Well, it is three weeks before the big Metallica show and no one has stepped forward to be a candidate to go with me. I'm thoroughly disappointed. I'm almost willing to accept anyone. Email me. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:05 PM

I think that Jessica Simpson does weird stuff with her face when she sings. It gets all weird looking. It scares me. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:02 PM

Tuesday, April 06, 2004

I got the new Shakira live video DVD. I've watched it several times. I am mesmarized by her talent. It was a good purchase. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:23 PM

Sunday, April 04, 2004

T-Town. I spent the weekend in T-Town. I spent the weekend in T-Town with theQUICK. theQUICK is awesome. theQUICK is the greatest. theQUICK had dip and chips. I've been a lot of places that had chips and I've been a lot of places that had dip. I just haven't been to many places that had chips and dip at the same time. I got to go to Super Dillons with theQUICK. It was my second time food shopping with theQUICK. It was awesome. We barbequed. It was meat and starch. I renamed his dog theJEDMAN. The dog liked the new name. Then, we partied in T-Town. We hit some place to watch the game. theQUICK did a good job picking the server. She had some of the qualities coveted by the superfiscial man. Then, we hit Spanky's. Spanky's is awesome. It was classy and trashy at the same time. They had pounders. theQUICK is a good host. No one was more fun than Bon Chappell from 1985-1995. It was the Bong Chappell decade. From 1997-2004, theQUICK is the fun. The 70% theQUICK decade. theQUICK rocks. theQUICK made eggs and toast. The eggs were awesome. I'm going to spend all my vacations in T-Town. I said goodbye to the dog theJEDMAN and I took off. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:40 PM

Sunday, March 14, 2004

I saw theLIZ. I saw the Liz Phair Rock and Roll show. I journeyed to Chicago's Vic Theater to see theLIZ on Friday March 11. theLIZ returned to her hometown of Chicago to play a really cool theater. It was awesome.
theLIZ came out wearing tight low riding jeans with yellow retro puma's and a yellow canvas belt to match. Remember the belt makes the outfit. theLIZ also had on a halter top like thing with lots of mid-drift to appeal to make the superficial man happy. The superficial man makes up a big part of theLIZ's fan base, including this reporter. theLIZ was so beautiful. When I saw her last fall she had a skirt and high heels on. The retro Pumas allowed for more freedom of movement thus, torturing the superficial man with her sultriness. I sat there in a serious gaze. theLIZ is so beautiful I would eat bacon and gravy until I puked to get on her tour bus. I love theLIZ.
Not suprisingly absent from theLIZ was the tailbone tattoo. Let that be a lesson to you young girls out there. Don't mark up your tailbone. The superficial man doesn't like it. Also, there was nothing dangling from the belly button. Another big no no for the superfiscial man. theLIZ is a role model for young girls.
Since the fall show in Kansas City, I've been studying up on theLIZ with my private theLIZ listening parties. She played all of my favorites, including all the ones that have bad words in them. theLIZ is subtle about her bad word choice. I love that about theLIZ. It was awesome. It was high intensity power chick pop rock. I loved it. It was extraordinary. It was flashing lights and the beautiful LIZ. It was rock and roll. I've been waiting all my life to see a good power rock show with a chick singer. If it wasn't for that security force, I would probably be Liz's boyfriend right now.
The next day. theLIZ played a 5 songs at the Apple store on Michigan Avenue. It was great. That is the third time that I got to see theLIZ. I've followed theLIZ. All this time, I've had this well controlled obsession with theLIZ, thinking I'm the only one is this category. When I mention theLIZ to other people, most don't know who she is. Well, after going to these shows, there are a lot of dopes following theLIZ around like me. I thought I was the only one. There is competition for the love of theLIZ. I might not be the new champion.
I did some other stuff in Chicago. I might live there if I had a lot of money in the summertime. It probably gets really cold there in the winter. Cold, bad for theJEDMAN. There were a lot of richies in Chicago on Michigan Avenue. It is a true land of the beautiful people. There are a lot of beautiful women there walking around in beautiful cloths with beautiful hair, beautiful attitudes, being beautiful. I love being in the land of the beautiful people. theJEDMAN is beautiful and being with the beautiful people is where her belongs.
I watched them paint the river green for St. Pats. I saw some of the parade. I got tired of playing video games at the ESPN zone and gave my game card to a little kid. I ate a lot of vegetables and avoid the pork chops. I went to a dive Irish bar on Ontario Street that was a hole, but it was awesome. I drank some Lenie Red served by a bartender that provided many superfiscial man moments. I rode in a cab that went really fast. I rode in a cab that sounded like it was really broken. I didn't know protocol for tipping the doorman. I ate eggs, but no bacon. I missed out on some pizza. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 10:15 PM

Sunday, March 07, 2004

I haven't had the chance to write in over a week. A lot has happened. Let me recap:
*The golden retriever is no more. I'm saddling up the new Maroon Marauder Mac II. I loved the retriever, but it was just too temperamental. It left me stranded one too many times.
*They're playing the new Liz Phair single on the radio, but they are leaving off the guitar intro to the song. Plus, Wal-Mart is selling a censored version of theLIZ CD. Disrespect to theLIZ. Liz is no Hip Hopper that rants and raves with profanity and violence against people. theLIZ just can't find a good boyfriend. She needs to find theJEDMAN. theLIZ is very subtle about putting in a bad word once in awhile in her songs. The subtlely makes it good. Stop dising theLIZ.
*A couple of hairs in my eyebrows grow way longer than the others. I clipped them off. That is metrosexual behavior baby!
*I made a couple of trips to Hooter's. I go there for the pop culture. Plus, it is kind of my neighborhood joint. People take a lot of little kids in there. It is a family place. The Hooter's girls are good role models. There was a bachelorette party in there. The bachelorette got her picture taken with the Hooter's girls. Also, I ran into this dude that used to work at the KING CRAB. He was there with his wife. Furthermore, I have kind of achieved something that I never had intended with this study of pop culture. I have achieved regular status at Hooter's. The bartender doesn't know my name, but she remembers me each time I come it. She mentions something that we talked about the last time. This is a very dangerous status to hold. I might have to actually do something about getting a life soon. This regular status may just be too much to handle.
*No one has entered the win a date with theJEDMAN contest to the Metallica Rock and Roll Show. The Hooter's girl may be the leader, since she is the only one I have talked to that seems to be eligible. Get those entries in. Read the February 22nd entry.
*I won $9.25 playing poker in Raymore. That is big money. I'm the new champion. I left the party early. I always leave early now. Leaving early adds to the mystic of theJEDMAN. It makes it look like I got somewhere to go. It was kind of dangerous walking out of there with almost 10 bucks of people's money. I could have got my legs broken. Plus, I left to see theQUICK. TheQUICK was in town. theQUICK is the greatest. He flexed the tarjeta for Bucklin and theJEDMAN. Plus, theQUICK did an awesome job picking the section to sit in. I was glad to see Bucklin. I hadn't seen him for a long time. He has responsibility, unlike theJEDMAN. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 12:45 PM

Saturday, February 28, 2004

I haven't seen theQUICK for a long time. I need to see theQUICK. I need to be with theQUICK. theQUICK experience is second to none. theQUICK is #1 theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:03 AM

Sunday, February 22, 2004

I bought Metallica tickets. Metallica is coming May 11th to Kemper Arena to celebrate my birthday. James, Lars and he boys decided they needed to play a big show for theJEDMAN on his birthday. It is not so much the band that is intriguing for me. It is the fact that it will be a kick A time. So, we are having a win a date with theJEDMAN contest. Send me an email essay stating why you deserve to hang with theJEDMAN on his birthday at the big Metallica show. Anyone can enter, but if you are female and I think you're cute then you have a better chance of winning. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:58 PM

It has been a week, but I was in Nebraska last weekend. I went to a collegiate sporting event. You won't believe what was across the parking lot from the hotel, Hooter's. I braved the sub-zero temperatures and stopped in for a beer. It was not the prototypical Hooter's Restaurant that I am accustomed to. It was a little lacking, but I had a good time. The day of the game it was below zero. Not a good temperature for sight seeing. The team I went to see played terrible and was crushed. All of their fans were devastated. I had a bad burrito downtown during the trip. I can't go back to Nebraska. I ran on the $40 mini-bar charge. They are probably looking for me. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:51 PM

Sunday, February 08, 2004

I spent all day watching this show on the chick channel. It is about a bunch of hot women in their 30s in L.A. The show them going on dates and whinning when the dudes turn out to be losers. It is awesome. I like the one chick that yells at these dudes on the phone before she ever meets them. Then, she'll discount them in some way after the first five minutes usually and whine about it. You can tell I was bored. I didn't have anything to do, so I watched this show for five straight hours. I was such the lazy JEDMAN. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:04 PM

I got jacked on the Internet. I did one those dating sites a long time ago. My profile is still on there. I never got any dates from it so, I never look at it anymore. Every once in a while someone will email me. Usually, it is some woman in their 30s with teenage children and no job that responds to me. I attract women that have a lot of stuff going on that I don't really want to deal with. This time a woman emailed me that seemed reasonable. Being on there is free. You have to pay for the service to respond to people. So, I got on an paid the $20 to respond to her. Then, after one email. She dumps me. She said that I wasn't settled. This is true. I got duped anyhow. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:56 PM

I went to Hooter's again. theGARDENMAN went. It was awesome. Hooter's is a family place. I go for the wings. The bartender Hooter girl ask me what I was doing tonight. Instead of saying, "Waiting for you to get off work." I said, "Duhhhhhhhhhhhh." I'm so smooth with the ladies. She did call me "SWEETIE" later on. I spent a little too much time there this time. It took away from my mystique. I'll have to wait a couple of months to go again. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:47 PM

It snowed a lot. I didn't have to go to work. I went out in neighborhood, "Walking in the winter wonder land," saying, "In the meadow you can build a snowman." The mailman honked at me like he was mad that some idiot is out walking around in the snow on the street getting in his way. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 3:52 PM

I got jacked at the corporate coffee house. It was devastatingly cold out. I went in to warm up and to read a magazine. I got my regular corporate non-designer coffee. I beat the system by not falling into the trap of buying the high end drinks. I went to the corner chair in front of the sofa to sit by myself. I wasn't there five minutes when these three adults and four kids invaded my space. They sat right next to me. Practically, they moved in right on top of me. This kid kept running into my leg. His dad kept telling him not to, but he did it anyway. The other kids were crawling all over the place. I would have tried to leave, but I would have smashed a little kid trying to step over them. I was furious. Eventually they left. The corporate coffee house is for adults to sit and talk quietly or read in a quiet environment. It is not for little kids. I couldn't believe that those people were so bold to do that, even when it was obvious that the kids were physically invading my space by bumping into me. The thing that is funny is that there were plenty of other seats to sit in. There should be a rule of space distribution in seating in public spaces. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 3:40 PM

Monday, February 02, 2004

Super Sunday! I watched the game by myself. I used to get to watch it with Manino, but that dude blew me off this year. The one party that I did get invited to was too far away with the icy weather that we had. I got myself uninvited from that party anyway thinking that I would get lots of invites and be able to choose. I'm not as popular as I think I am. I had a good time.
I ate a can of chili beans, one roma tomato, three flour tortillas, onion, cheese, salsa, fritos, 3 cokes, 1 beer and an ice cream sandwich. Some of that stuff I turned into a burrito. Beans are good. Everyone should eat beans. The three cokes, the beer and the fritos made me feel like hell. Not the beans. Beans are good. Eat beans or die. I ate like a king tonight. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 6:37 PM

Saturday, January 24, 2004

I got a new phone. I have the same phone number, but my phone book is in the old phone. So, if you want a coveted position in my phone book you better act now. All the top spots are being taken up. Slots 1 and 2 are taken up now. Hurry to get your slot.
It took a lot to get this phone. I had to show some frustration at the Best Buy to get the new phone on my service plan. The customer service I received was very poor. I know all about customer service. I know bad service when I see it.
I went to Hooter's again last week. It took so long to write about it that I forgot about all the cultural phenomena that I witnessed at Hooter's. I learned one thing on this trip. Never go to Hooter's at 3 in the afternoon. There are only a couple of girls working. Go about 5. That is when the shift change occurs and the night shift girls come in. It is great. You get to see the most girls at that time. Also, there was a lot of people coming in for take out. I just don't understand Hooter's take out. It ruins the phenomena. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 11:27 AM

Wednesday, January 07, 2004

I got to see Brent Wood over the holidays. Brent Wood is awsome. Brent Wood is a good sport. Brent Wood is a good eater. Brent Wood loves to pound the deserts. Brent Wood. Brent Wood.

.: posted by Jed 9:31 PM

I am the new champion! I defeated the pack and took home the title in picking bowl games in the office pool. I'm #1!. It was my greatest victory. I continued to smash the competition and I broke their will. I'm the new CHAMPION! I won 153,000 dollarinis. I may have some decimal point problems. I'm such a good guy. I just might buy designer coffees for whoever has the guts to show up. So, read this again soon for an update of a time an place. It will be the first theJEDMAN tour stop of 04. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:30 PM

Monday, December 29, 2003

It has been over a week ago, but I had a spectacular SUPERFICIAL MAN MOMENT. I don't have a girlfriend, so these moments are pretty much all I have to live for. Anyway, I was out on the town and I decided to go to Tanner's to get a cheese burger. Tanner's has a pretty good cheese burger. Plus, they have crinkle cut fries. Those rule. It had been a long time since I had food like that because all I eat is fiber now. I just love hamburgers.
I walked into the club and sat at the bar. The bartender came down to wait on me. She was so beautiful. She had all the qualities coveted by the superficial man. Her manner of classy dress on this day accentuated her SUPERFICIAL MAN qualities. She had a tight hooded mid-drift showing zipper sweater on with jeans. She had the tail bone tattoo, but she was so beautiful that I could possibly overlook that automatic death blow red flag in the world of theJEDMAN. In a word, she was SPECTACULAR.
I ordered my food and I couldn't stop staring at her. She was so beautiful. I couldn't control my demons. My demons keep me from just gazing. I stare. I can't just gaze. I stare. I'm a bad man. I have demons. I can't out run my demons. My dark sides just popped right out.
After I ordered this older guy came in and sat at the bar next to me. He knew the bartender by name. He mentioned to her that she was dressing in a very provocative way. He said to her that she was trying to kill all of us men with the way she dressed her SUPERFICIAL MAN assets. She stated that she had to pay rent again soon. This guy was having a SUPERFICIAL MAN MOMENT.
This guy was a real talker. He said that he worked at home and his wife made him get out of the house every afternoon for a couple of hours. He acted like he came to Tanner's a lot. This is great, because the idea of the SUPERFICIAL MAN MOMENT is bigger than just staring at a hot chick. It is more. It is the camaraderie of sharing the SUPERFICIAL MAN MOMENT with the other guys at the club. It is going into the club and being with the guys and experiencing SUPERFICIAL MAN MOMENTS. It is bigger than just any one hot chick or any one person. It is huge. It is eternity. It is love. It is priceless. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 10:40 PM

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

Well after four years, I finally won the NFL game picking pool at the office. I picked 15 games correctly. I won $6400 for the effort. I'm the greatest. I'm the new champion. I'm #1. I'm theJEDMAN. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:06 PM

Sunday, December 14, 2003

I got to hang with theQUICK. We saw this game. At the game, L-Town went to the hospitality room and ate a bunch of sandwiches. Then L-Town loaded up a bag full of sandwiches. Did I get any? No. There was no display of sharing. L-Town just brought back a cup of M&M's from the hospitality room. Man, everyone who knows me, knows that I love sandwiches. It was like that one time, my nutritionist accused me of eating pasta for lunch. No way. Everyone that knows me knows I only eat sandwiches for lunch. It is too bad. Those hospitality room sandwiches are always good.
Later, me and theQUICK did some damage in the land of the beautiful people. Bucklin showed up. It is awsome hanging with Bucklin. He's an animal. theQUICK did one great job selecting seating in the best servers section. Our server, Missy, was beautiful. Throughout the night, I was nursing my drink, because that is what I do. Missy kept calling me SWEETIE and HONEY to see if I wanted anything else. Missy was so pretty. Missy really brought out the superficial man in me. That should be a song, THE SUPERFICIAL MAN IN ME. theQUICK is the greatest. theQUICK really knows how to put his men in the best positions to be with the best servers. theQUICK is amazing. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:31 PM

Wednesday, December 10, 2003

I'm number ONE. I'm #1. theJEDHEADS are the South Division Champions of the TopFlight Fantasy Football League. I finished with a 7-7 record and I'm the number 5 seed in the playoffs. I would have been in 5th place in the North Division. I won $5,100 for the title. I'm the new CHAMPION. I'm the new CHAMPION. theJEDMAN is #1. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 1:52 PM

Well, I went to Hooter's again. I go for the wings. Plus, that place is a gold mine of blog material. It was really crowded. I sat at the bar. That same girl was working behind the bar as the last time I was there. She has some of the qualities of the superficial man. She was really busy. So, I sat there ate my wings and celery and read the newspaper. That was a weird sight at Hooter's.
At one point I looked a little too long at one of the servers. She smiled and waved at me. I didn't feel bad because that is what the superficial man in me is supposed to do at Hooter's.
Later, as the bartender was talking to me, this guy dressed head to toe in the brand with the three stripes came up to the bar and asked the bartender if his shirt was too flashy. It was your standard golf shirt. She said no and then he said that his athletic director wants him to wear a shirt with a collar but his wife said that this shirt was too flashy. I told him that it matched his pants. Then he left suddenly. The bartender looked at me perplexed. It was weird. I laughed.
Hooter's is what it is. I like the wings. The servers are nice and have qualities coveted by the superficial man in me. It is one place that you can get a beer that is relatively smoke free. Plus, there are people like the guy in the brand with the three stripes. What more could you want. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 1:42 PM

Sunday, November 30, 2003

I got to hang out with the S-man. He is an excellant host. He gave me a snack of fruit at his home. He could have given me snoballs, little debbies, little smokies, pork, fried cheese or any other snack that is bad for you. Yet, he gave me fruit. Bananas, tangerines and apples were the flavor of the day. You suck, if you don't eat fruit. Everything I am today is because of fruit. Fruit has been good to theJEDMAN. Fruit rocks. theJEDMAN eats fruit. theJEDMAN rocks. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 12:32 PM

SHANIA!. I went to the big Shania Twain Arena Power Pop Country Rock Show. It was great! Now, I don't know much about music, but I know a lot about fashion.
I predicted 17 costume changes during the show. There were only three. Shania came out to start the show in a Dante Hall Chief's jersey, sparkled white shoes and blue jeans. It was a good choice for the home town fans, but not a good choice for the superficial man. Halfway through the show, she escaped into the hole and came back with a form fitting blue and white sleeveless top with baggy black skater pants and pro wrestling boots. Ok, getting better. Later, Shania came up with a Royals jersey, black pants and black shoes. Now, from the viewpoint of the superficial man, we were duped. Shania has made a career on the mid-drift. I've been seeing it and dreaming of it my whole life. Finally, when I get to see her live and in person, she covers it up. Shania, I have so little to live for. How could you do this to me? It was a devastating blow for the superficial man, but she still looked hot with the regular girl look. It made me want to date her.
Anyway the show was good. It wasn't the spiritual awakening that the Liz Phair show was, but I would date Shania and take her to a movie and get a soda. I'm totally obsessed with Liz Phair to the point of being deranged and psychotic. Both Shania and Liz are my celebrity girlfriends, but for different reasons. I don't think Shania is given the credit she probably deserves for her talent, even though no one can figure out what she is. She's not country. She's not pop. She's not rock. What is she? But, I don't like to use labels, because I could never figure out who was a punker and who was a poser when I was in college. The show was uplifting. It was powerful. It was empowering. When I left the arena, man, I sure felt like a woman. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:56 AM

Tuesday, November 25, 2003

BUSTED! I got nailed in the JOCO. I bought the regular coffee at the designer cooperate coffee house, thus severely damaging their profit margin. Then, I took it to the public school American football game. I got paranoid that they wouldn't let me in with it, so I put it in the pocket of my coat. I walked through the gate and this security guy stopped me, because he saw the bulge in my pocket. I pulled out my coffee. Then he grabs the police officer. The police officer asked me if I was a student. I'm 37. I've been told I look young, so I think I could pass for 27, but I can't pass for 17. Then the police officer asked me if I got anything in their that he should know about. Yeah, I'm 37 and I'm sneaking in booze to a high school game. I'm dumb, but I'm not an idiot. It was quite the scam on my part. They totally missed the flask strapped to my ankle, because I'm such the raging alcoholic. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:10 PM

Monday, November 17, 2003

The S-man is the only one that understands theJEDMAN. The S-man supports theJEDMAN's obsessions. theJEDMAN and the S-man went on a two man collision course with one goal in mind. theJEDMAN had to obtain the entire Liz Phair CD catalog. The mission was successful. The mission was cost effective. theJEDMAN and the S-man did it for Liz man. Liz is the ultimate power pop rock goddess. Liz has created a spiritual awakening in theJEMAN. theJEDMAN worships at the Iglesia of Liz Phair. theJEDMAN has been to the mountain. theJEDMAN has seen Liz. Liz is good. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:19 PM

Sunday, November 16, 2003

I was out on the town with a friend of mine. He didn't get to the ATM. No big deal. We had some dinner. We got some coffee. We had a couple of beers. I bought us each a suit. We picked up about 10 new CD's a piece. I got him a car. We bought a bass boat to share. We bought his mom a new house. We got plane tickets to Tierra del Fuego. Then, after I pay for all of this, the doofus finds $20 in his wallet. Like the loser didn't know the $20 was there. I was duped, but hey, I got the money. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:36 PM

Saturday, November 15, 2003

I got to hang with theQUICK. You should never pass up an opportunity to hang with theQUICK. You should skip a final exam to hang with theQUICK. You should blow off your wedding to hang with theQUICK. You should miss you child being born to hang with theQUICK. theQUICK is where the action is at.
We watched the underdogs win. Then we went to this establishment. Hyannisport showed up. People kept buying me and theQUICK drinks. Nobody can get enough of theQUICK. AT this club, there were a lot of luscious rubias. I never saw so many beautiful girls at one place in the JOCO before. It was quite the feat for the superficial man. Even the server was pretty. She was so cute. The place was packed and we were standing by the server area at the bar. She kept walking by me back and forth getting more drinks. I was so in love with her. I tried to get up the nerve to say something like, working hard or hardly working. I didn't. I was shy. Then, she stretched and leaned to get something. Her shirt rode up her contoured body exposing a huge tailbone tattoo. I was crushed. It was the ultimate red flag. The stunning death blow. The end of what could have been beautiful. My heart was ripped into pieces Our love would never come to be. So I staggered home alone again. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 10:44 AM

Friday, November 14, 2003

I was so incredibally duped. I taped elimidate because it was a two parter, but the schedule changed and I ended up taping another show. I got screwed out of my elimidate. Now I can't find out who the guy picked that had all the chicks at his mom's house. This is devestating. Give me elimidate now, or give me death.

.: posted by Jed 4:09 PM

Thursday, November 13, 2003

This New Years Eve, the party is going down at Stu's Midtown Tavern. Get your ass down to Stu's. Stu's Midtown Tavern. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:26 PM

I did a bad thing. It is really bad. I taped elimidate. I had no choice it was a two parter. It was too be continued. It was great because the dude had all the chicks at his mom's house. I was duped. They sucked me into watching it and then it ended without 3 chicks left on the table. I got duped into out of the 22 minutes that I signed up for. I can't be expected to watch a 44 minutes of one elimidate episode. I haven't watched it yet. So, there is still hope. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:24 PM

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

After 10 weeks of NFL season, I'm leading my office pool in total correct picks. Plus, I'm in first place in the Topflight Fantasy Football League's South Division. I'm number one. I'm in first place. I'm a winner. I'm the new champion. I'm #1. I'm the greatest. I'm the new champion. I'm theJEDMAN. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:50 PM

Sunday, November 09, 2003

Some clown in another country keeps acusing me of liking sports. He talks as if sports are my one and only passion. It is like I turn on ESPN when I get home an never turn it off in his eyes. It is true that at one time I really paid a lot of attention to sports. Part of that is because I needed an outlet because of my lackluster career choices of earlier in my life. Now, I'm a passive fan. I go to a lot of games, just because I have this cooperate connection. I like the pagentry and the atmosphere of the games. Sometimes the spectacle is better than the game itself. I watch NFL on tv, but not the 12 hours possible each week like I used to. I never watch NBA or NHL. I rarely watch baseball. I sometimes watch NCAA basketball, but it does not dominate and rule my life. I don't read about sports a whole lot. I can barely stand sports talk radio anymore. Anymore indepth conversations about games bore me. Contrary to popular belief, I'm a passive fan, not a fanatic.
So, what is my passion. Two words, LIZ and PHAIR. LIZ PHAIR is the only prudent passion for theJEDMAN. theJEDMAN has worshiped at the power pop slut rock alter of LIZ PHAIR. theJEDMAN has witnessed the ordinary average sane pshyco super-goddess, LIZ PHAIR. LIZ PHAIR live was a spiritual awakening for theJEDMAN. theJEDMAN stood in ahhhhhhhh of the vision, LIZ PHAIR for all 85 minutes of her power pop slut rock set. Everything theJEDMAN is today, is because of LIZ PHAIR. theJEDMAN does not make a decision without thinking about what LIZ would do. LIZ is the ultimate rockand pop star. LIZ is an image of beauty so triumphant and unseen in the history of the eyes of theJEDMAN. LIZ is it, baby. LIZ is the one. LIZ is a powerhouse of rock, femininity, love, soul, being, categorical awareness, ect. Being with LIZ has allowed theJEDMAN to clense the doors of perception. With LIZ, theJEDMAN can see infinity and has achieved total consciousness. LIZ. LIZ. LIZ. LIZ. LIZ. LIZ. LIZ. LIZ.

.: posted by Jed 7:47 PM

I was at some cheeseball JOCO eatery the other night. I was walking by the hostess stand. The two young girls there were freaking out because someone who only spoke Spanish was on the phone. I told them to let me talk to them. The guy wanted to know if the wait was long. I said there were a lot of people waiting for a table. It was an impressive display. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:36 PM

Thursday, November 06, 2003

I took a one man demolisition crew into the PORT. I went solo to the Liz Phair rock and roll show at the cowboy bar. It was awesome. It was nirvana. It was enlightenment. It was 20 bucks. It was made for the superfiscial man. I've been recently reinfatuated with Liz Phair ever since I found out that she was my age. Plus, I started listening closely to her power babe pop style. I love Liz. So, I got it in my mind that I had to go even if going meant flying solo. I have no fear of being in a public place alone. Several years ago I went to Iron Maiden solo. It was awesome.
Anyway I was stupid. I got there too early and had to sit through a couple of sub par groups. There were plenty of dopes there solo. It was hard to fine who was the biggest dope. It could have been me. Right before Liz came on a really hot dressed up rubia came and asked if she could sit at my table. Even though, I thought if my ruin my chances with Liz, I said yes, but then her date wanted to sit there to. I relunctantly let him. Liz came out and rocked the house. She was dressed with the superfiscial man in mind. It was pretty good. There were a couple of dopes in the front row that danced like they were too into the music. I bet they pissed off Liz. They grabbed her hand at one point and tried to not let go and all the pointing they did was annoying, Also, they sang every word to every song. Before the show was over, this security guard gave me a bus pass for after the show. So, I hung around and went to the bus. They let me on. I walked to the back and it was just me and Liz. She said come on over. She looked so hot. Suddenly, I forgot my name, ran out the door, got on my bike and peddled home. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 5:14 PM

Monday, November 03, 2003

-I was at this place where you had to make your own toast. I plopped my toast in the toaster. The toast next to mine started smoking. I just stood there and watched it smoke. This chick raced over to get the toast out. I was hoping it would burn some more. theJEDMAN
-I'm down on the coffee in the USA. I miss the cafe con leche of Spain. I can't get that here. It is way better than the $8 latte. I'm just drinking the regular coffee now. I'm not buying into the designer coffee system. However, I yearn for the cafe con leche that I had in Spain everyday that only cost a buck or buck and a half. theJEDMAN
-I got sconed. I was at the cooperate coffee house and this coffee maker chick tried to upsell me a scone. They were trying to make the greatest sales increase would get new aprons. I refuse to be upsold. Plus, a scone sounds like something that I don't want to eat. They need a new name for it. theJEDMAN
-Check out the

.: posted by Jed 8:01 PM

Friday, October 31, 2003

I was partying in Grandview. Partying to me these days is having two beers and in bed by 11. I was at this dive with a bunch of people. This really old dude walked in with a young girl. He was mafia. He had a perfect full gray hair cut, tan blazer, mock turtle neck, rings, gold watch, and tassles on his shoes. Later, his young girl walks by and asks me if I want to be her partner. I didn't know what kind of partner she wanted. She said her guy was giving her the shaft and that she needed someone to play pool with, a pool partner. I asked her what about the old dude. Then, I said that you're going to get me beat up. That old dude is mafia. I'm going to be left bloody in the parking lot. I kept saying this over and over. She eventually got tired of me and went back to the old dude. I didn't want to play pool anyway.

.: posted by Jed 3:39 PM

*I've been going to NFL games for years. I always crash the rich people level to use the bathroom in the suite that my dad is in charge of. I have a pass that I use for every game. I've been changing the date on my pass for over ten years. Well, the Chiefs win a couple of games and I get hasseled at the gate to the club level. They said that I altered my pass, which I did. I had to yell and scream and this girl was not going to let me in. She called me, rude. Well, my dad showed up and got me in. I was worried. That girl was mean. She called me rude. She didn't realize that I was the customer. The customer was always right. I needed the private bathroom and free chips and drinks.
*A couple of weeks ago, I saw 3 Dog Night at a rich people benefit at the train station. There was free food, beer, and celebrities. I used the bathroom at the same time as a 3 time AL batting champion. All the three dog night guys had ridiculous big gray hair cuts. There was no bald representation.

.: posted by Jed 3:29 PM

Thursday, October 23, 2003

I've played some disc golf lately. I'm really into it. I played 12 last Sunday with the S-man and today I practiced on the 4 hole course by Sprint world. I can't play any real sports, so I'm going with these hybrid sports. I got some cheap equipment, so I think I need to upgrade. I need to find a disc golf pro shop. I want to pick up shoes, discs, gloves, shorts, shirts, the whole nine-yards. I just hope my rotator cuff holds up, so I can turn pro next summer. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:07 PM

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

The blog is back in town. Recently:

*I partied with theQUICK in Topeka. He was an excellent host. Gotta love theQUICK.

*I drank beer out of a beer truck in Iowa City.

*I got into a fight with a staircase and broke three of my toes. They turned all kinds of pretty purple colors. I got lots of offers to be a toe model. I turned them all down. I didn't like the money involved.

*I was bored and needed material for the blog to get out of this slump. Plus, sometimes a man just has to see half naked girls. So, I went to Hooter's. I bellied up to the bar next to a lot of other guys there by themselves. The Hooter girls were playing Hooter girl sports, like limbo and hula hoop.I ordered some wings and and a beer, but I didn't realize that celery and blue chesse was extra. I needed the fiber. The Hooter girl bartender asked me if I lived around here. Later, she asked me about going to KU when she saw my VISA card. Then, she asked me about my job. I told her what I did and she asked me a lot of questions about what I did at work. She did this in the middle of helping other people, but she always remembered where we were in the conversation when she returned to me. The face and the hair were just ok. The body was in line with superfiscial man values. I was too stupid to pick her up, but I can start hanging out there, because and this is the important part, Hooter's girls are hot for theJEDMAN

*I've done some public address announcing. I did two football games. I did play by play during the game. I introduced the band, the dance squad and informed the crowd of the good treats at the concession stand. I got to talk to the coaches on the field before the game. I even told bad people to move their cars. I'm theJEDMAN. I rock. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:56 PM

Thursday, July 31, 2003

I was walking through the neighborhood last night. These teenagers in an SUV pulled up and parked on the curb next to the sidewalk about where I was walking. It was a boy and a girl. They both looked and me like they new me. The guy got out of the car and yelled, "Mr. MYLASTNAME." They were old clients that I had when I used to work in land of the beautiful people. I stopped and talked with them for a second. When they told me who they were I remembered. These clients grow quite a bit from when I worked with them 4 years ago, so it makes them hard to recognize. As I walked on my way, the dude said to me, "You made Spanish KICK ASS!" It made me feel good for a second. This is not the first time this has happened. I've run into former clients before. It was good that I impacted the lives of the youth, especially since I was treated poorly by adminstration and was shown the door. Looking back, leaving the land of the beautiful people was a good thing, because I like what I'm doing now. If I was still there, it might really be sucking for me. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 10:04 PM

Wednesday, July 30, 2003

I followed up my Spanish adventure with two fabulous days in Branson, Missouri. Branson, the country music Las Vegas of the Ozarks. I didn't go for the country music. No, I went for the Go-Karts. There is only one reason to go to Branson and that reason is Go-Karts. So, I went from cool European vacation to riding Go-Karts in Branson. I dropped $10 on the Wild Woody Go-Kart Track. It was awsome. It was a wood track that had ramps, curves, downhills, uphills, etc. As I was waiting to go, I saw the sign that said, "Do not ride this ride if you have neck pain, back pain, shoulder pain, heart condition, etc. This is a good time for the power pack to activate. So, I drove slow and scared. Little kids were passing me and ramming me. My brakes didn't work. On the downhill curve I thought I was going to turn it over, but I survived. This was going to be an expose on Go-Kart tracks in Branson, but one ride on one track was enough. So, I went to Gilley's and had a couple of Texas Draws. I was the only one in the bar. I was partying by myself. It was a long way from Oviedo. The last place I had a beer by myself. From Oviedo to Branson, I have no fear in having a beer by myself. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:33 PM

Saturday, July 19, 2003

Well, I'm back. So continue to not email me. I was gone to the Iberian Peninsula. I had to go. It was my pilgrimige. I wrote a journal everyday on the trip, but I don't want to bore you by loading up the blog with it. So, I will just give a few highlights of the pilgrimige. I'll add to it over the next week so don't just read it once. theJEDMAN

*I got jacked on the subway in Madrid. I had three 20s and a 5 in my pocket. This chick and this dude pushed there way in the train at one of the stops smashing me against the door. The chick reached all the way around me. At the next stop, the train shook and I got jostled by the people in the packed car. When I got to the hotel, one 20 and the 5 was missing. The chick was on the opposite side of my pocket. So, either it fell out or I got jacked, but they missed the other two 20s and my wallet, so I win.
*I ate the worst hamburger ever when I was by myself in Oviedo. It was an unfortuate incident, but I made up for it by having some beers by myself.
*I got stuck waiting for the S-man in a book store. The trip was all about the S-man.
*My bladder hurt so bad that I went to the hospital and it continued to hurt for a week. It was some of the worst pain I've ever felt, but I survived.
*I walked around Madrid in mid-day in 44 degree celcius heat in jeans. Pure genious at work.
*I got dissed by some people from Mississippi who were dumb enough to run with the bulls. They said my town was dreary. Talk about killing a conversation.
*I body surfed in the bay of San Sebastian. It was impressive.
*I ate octopus, tentacles and all, in Gijon.
*I returned to my love the sea.
*I learned how to drain the water off of lettuce properly.
*I drank jugo de naranja natural. Fresh squeezed orange juice from a machine at a bar for cheap. What a concept.
*I was treated very well by my friend in Burgos. She is the absolute greatest.
*I helped a dopey Unkranian guy get hotel room in Oviedo. He spoke little English and no Spanish. He was walking around at 1am with a map and a gym bag. He was going to be there for a week for a science conference.
*Brentwood got us lost in Galicia. We drove through this beautiful mountain forest area that was all lush and green only to run smack into a huge nuclear power plant.
*I watched the S-man give into his dark master with great frequency. Six, seven, eight times a day we had to stop to satisfy the craving of the S-man with his dark master, the coffee bean. Cafe solo, por favor. The trip was all about the S-man and his dark master, the coffee bean.
*I ate a hamburger in San Sebastian with a knife and fork. I ordered from two of the most beautiful bartender chicks that there have ever been. It made me want to start drinking a lot.
*The S-man got Doner Kebabed in Madrid.
*Flabby and Tubby English guys with boobs were making fun of people in the Plaza Mayor.
*The auto mecanic's son had a hicky
*According to Lucho, everything was "cinco minutos" away.
*I had a 60 cent house wine in Oviedo and it was good. Drinks the Estados Unidos are just plain too expensive everywhere.
*I traded seats with this guy on the bus so he could sit next to his girlfriend. Then, they proceded to mash two rows in front of me. It was good that they got off at the next stop.
*I help Fernando the fix-it guy learn English.
*I bought the best bag of bugels ever at the gas station on the Camino de Santiago.
*I got grabbed by a gypsy as I was getting off the bus. I tried to give her a Euro for the twig, but she put it back in my pocket. She wanted it five Euros. She kept saying to me, "Paper. Paper." The 5 Euro is the first paper money available. I gave her 2 Euros and said I gave the rest at the office.
*I installed the chaise louge at Burgos home. This meant I put the wheels on it. It was a tough job so I slept for a couple of hours after completing the installation.
*I gave Brentwood money to buy candy out of the machine at the train station and then she didn't even share with me.
*Segundo, the intantaneous Segovia tour guide gave us a guided tour of the town and the best vistas and told us a lot for free. He's awsome.

.: posted by Jed 1:55 PM

Tuesday, June 17, 2003

one hundred ninety-five.

.: posted by Jed 2:52 PM

Saturday, June 14, 2003

I drove the performance automobile down the parkway and buzzed the plaza. It was awsome. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 11:39 PM

I went to the Pearl Jam Rock and Roll show. It was at the ampitheater. We met at Hooter's on the way out to the show. I went with one dude and two chicks. We ate 50 wings. It was great. I keep telling the chicks to pick up their paychecks before we left for the show. When we got out to the ampitheater, the sky was black. Thunder could be heard. Rain was spitting. The opening act played and right when they finished, it started to pour rain and it poured and poured. Then, the lightning came. I was lucky. I took my high tech rain suit. There was no cover anywhere. We were standing under the short awning of the beer stand, but the asphalt slopped down to the base of the stand and the water was pretty high up to my ankles. So, I had my rain suit and I decided to stand on higher asphalt and take the beating of the rain. That worked until I adjusted my collar and rain poured down my front and soaked my t-shirt. It poured rain for about 45 minutes with tons of lightning. With my power pack' I felt like a human jumper cable out there. Then, the rain seemed to let up a little bit and the show started. There was still lightning and the drunks cheered whenever the sky lit up. It was pretty dangerous. With the lights shining on the crowd you could see the rain still coming down pretty hard. theJAM played an hour of hard core PJ fan toons. Then, they played an hour of hits for the pop kids like me. Late in the show, there were some dudes without shirts on running down the hill and sliding on the grass. They did this over and over. Then, I looked over again and one of them was a chick without her top. So, it was the best of all worlds on many levels. There was a young, hot, drunk, wet, and naked party girl engaging in athletic competition. That was the best part of the night. What more is there. Aside from the front of my t-shirt getting wet, I was dry everywhere else except my feet. My shoes were soaked. I took my socks off and left them there. It was a class move by theJEDMAN. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 11:36 PM

Wednesday, June 11, 2003

It was theJEDMAN's Major League Experience. I hosted several colleagues at a major league experience last night. Most of them were chicks.Before the experience, we hung out in Raytown. It was raining ou so we hung out in Raytown longer than expected. My guests enjoyed several adult beverages. As we pulled in the lot at the stadium, my guests were fighting to see who would pay the parking fee, but I pulled out the parking pass and stated, "We are going big time tonight" In the lot, it was still raining and I surprised my guests with ball caps. Each one received a ball cap. Inside the venue, I scored some free bobble heads. Each of my guests received a bobble head. At this point, I was looking like an excellant host. The experience started two hours late, but we stayed for the whole game. One of the members caught a foul ball. Not to be confused with Raytown, but Raytown II got hammered. Raytown II was leaning on me as not to fall out of the chair. So I purchased another adult beverage for this person. This is what I do. I love to make people happy and the rain didn't hamper theJEDMAN's major league experience. I'm theJEDMAN. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:56 PM

Thursday, June 05, 2003

I got to hang with theQUICK tonight. theQUICK and I went to his mom's house twice, to the Hen House, Tanner's, and we watched hockey. theQUICK is awesome. theQUICK is the man. Viva theQUICK!

.: posted by Jed 11:05 PM

Monday, May 19, 2003

I did it again. I was at the drug store. I just had paid my outrageous co-pays from the really cute pharmacy working girl. when as I was walking down the aisle when this girl is looking at me. She squints her eyes and says she has seen me before at some party. I was thinking I hadn't been to any parties lately, but I stopped and talked to her. Turns out she was working at the party I was at the night before of a friend of the family that was at the country club. I didn't remember her from the party, but she was kind of cute so I said, "Oh yeah, that is right." So, I introduced myself and she told me her name is Christy. I stayed and talked. I talked this time. I told a joke. I talked. I get accused of not talking, but I talked this time. I talked. Anyway, this chick did not focus on me, she kept looking at the products on the shelf. So, eventually we exchanged nice to meet you and I left. She was cute and kind of young. I'm guessing early 20's like my trail chick Beth. It just didn't seem like she was jumping on the Jed Bandwagon after the intitial exchange of words. Jump on the Jed bandwagon or take the bus. When I got out to the parking lot I realized that I blew it again. My car is in the shop and I was driving the cadillac. I had the perfect line for Christy. All I had to say was, "Do you want to go for a ride in the cadillac?" It was so beautiful. It was so right. It was so kick'in, but I blew it again, but I just turned 37 and young chicks are looking at me and must think that I'm as hot as I think I am in my own mind. Now I have to hang out at the trolley trail and the drug store. Chicks come and go, but the stories last forever. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:35 PM

Saturday, May 17, 2003

I long to be back at the sea. I've always yearned to be near the sea. The sea has always been dear to my heart. I've been in love with the sea as long as I can remember from my early steps as a young man. No other place gives me the peaceful feeling of love and happieness that the sea does. Heaven is being on the boat with nothing but the sea around. I am returning to the sea soon and the sea will be returning to me. The sea is love. The sea is peace. The sea is freedom. The sea is timeless and everlasting. Cable TV is your friend. Big fish scare me. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:33 PM

I love to make people happy. In the last few weeks, I've taken people to professinal sporting events. I've gone out of my way to give people rides. I've bought people sodas. I've taken people to rock and roll shows. I bought dessert. I've been the all american guy. That is what I do. I'm here for hte people. I love the people. I love to make people happy. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:27 PM

I went to the site of the lost glory. I went to the trail where I had the opportunity with Beth. Beth was no where to be found. I didn't hear Beth calling and me and the boys couldn't find the sound. Opportunity lost. What a tragedy. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:22 PM

Sunday, May 11, 2003

I watched this guy chase a bunny rabbit away from his tomato plants. The rabbit just toyed with him as they went back and forth across the yard. This was not a good bunny chasing strategy. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:31 PM

When did velveta and browned ground beef become mexican food? theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:22 PM

I was at the professional non-american football game. There was a biker dude sitting in front of me. He had the harley t-shirt with he leather vest, the boots, the zztop GO-T, the chain wallet, and many other qualities of a biker dude. He was a stocky, tough looking guy with a big beer gut. He was the kind of guy that looks like he drinks Jack right out of the bottle in front of the cops. During the game, he went up the concourse. He returned with a SNOW-CONE. A SNOW-CONE mind you. This was weird. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:21 PM

Thursday, May 08, 2003

I went to the conference down by the plaza sponsered by the Bureau of Education Research. There was no lunch. The last time I went to one of these conferences we got a nice hot meal. I was dissappointed. Plus, it is a bad eating strategy to take more than one muffin. After the conference, I went to walk on the trolly trail. It was looking like rain, but I went anyway. I walked north from around 55th and brookside. I was doing a down and back course. As I was walking a lot of chicks ran by. I noticed this one kept running back and forth along the trail. She passed me four times. As she passed me the last time, it started to rain pretty hard. I saw her go to the parking lot and get into a small green pick-up. As I passed she asked me if I needed a ride. All kinds of thoughts race through my head. I don't like getting wet. It is not that far from my car. Is this woman crazy. Would I be sliced up by a lunatic? Why do people employ bad driving strategies. Is she hot for me? This will be good BLOG information. So, I risked bodily harm for the BLOG. I sacrificed for the reader of the blog. Reader is singular on purpose.I got into her truck. She was OK looking. She was in shape from the running. She might have been as young as early 20s. I introduced myself and thanked her because I don't like getting wet. She told me her name was Beth. We talked about this crazy weather for the four blocks to my car. As she got near my car, I told her she was the greatest She laughed and little and said it was nice to meet me. Then, I got out. Man, I might have blown it. My car was right next to the coffee shop. I probably blew it. I should have offered to by her a coffee for her trouble. Catagorically, I blew it. It was an incredible bonehead move by theJEDMAN. She was right there. She was a woman. I was in her truck. She had a pick-up. The idea of this is so beautiful. Oh well, this kind of stuff makes for the best BLOGS. I will have the story forever. Just think, if I would have got something going with Beth, I could have been able to say, "Beth, I hear you calling, but I can't come home right now because me and the boys will be playing all night." theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 6:47 PM

Wednesday, May 07, 2003

I went to the big Red Hot Chili Peppers Rock and Roll show. It was kick'in. I finally got to see FLEA and TONY. Those guys are awsome. Plus, I was with a chick. It had been a lifelong dream to see Flea. Plus, they played my favorite song, "Suck my Kiss." Flea had a lot of energy on that one. Plus, I was with a chick. Before Flea came out, I was buying an adult beverage on the concourse, when I heard some doofuses yell my name. I looked around and it was some former clients.We'll call them the BVpunks. I remembered two of them, but the third one's name eluded me. When he told me, I said, "yeah, I remember you. I always hated you." Nothing like wasted underage kids. Flea was awsome. Tony was awsome. theJEDMAN was awsome. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:39 PM

I went shopping for groceries with theQUICK. It was great.TheQUICK is the greatest. There were plenty of Little Debbie snacks bags of mixed greens. Later we got some gold fish for his piranha. Boy, the piranha was hungry. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:28 PM

I went to the professionl non-American Football contest the other night at the professional American football stadium. The game was a draw. After the contest, there was a rock and roll show. I don't remember the band. It could have been anyone. Maybe it was the Who. Yeah, it was the Who. The show was on the field, so I got to walk on the grass professional American football field under the lights. It was the same field that Horace Belton returned punts on. It was the same field where Steve DeBerg broke his finger. It was awsome. The grass felt crisp under my feet. I felt like I could run fast and run fast through a brick wall. The Who wasw great. I was so close that Keith Moon sweated on me. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:24 PM

Sunday, May 04, 2003

I went to the theater and saw a play the other night. A chick paid for me to go indirectly. I ate beef tips, because beef is the other red meat. I ate big dessert too. It was great. theJEDMAN gets culture. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:35 PM

Tuesday, April 29, 2003

I was stopping at this intersection when I saw one of my clients crossing the street in front of me. Briefly, I thought about steamrolling him because even though I kind of like him, he causes me a lot of trouble. He is the same guy I tried to nail with he nerf football. It would have been a bone crushing, bloodspilling, brain rattling instant death for him. Even though it is wrong to hurt people, my biggest problem with this plan is me having to go to jail for such a repulsive act of violence. This was the part of the plan that I didn't like. Instread, I really freaked him out by yelling at him out of the window. He loved me for it. I'm glad I seem to exhibt self-control with great frequency. This may keep me from having fun, but it keeps me out of trouble. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 10:01 PM

Sunday, April 27, 2003

I was on my way home the other night when I decided to stop in for a beer at Tanner's. It had been a long time since I went out for a beer. It has even been longer since I had been to Tanner's. I wanted to do it for theQUICK. theQUICK is the greatest. As it turned out, the girl at the door checking ID's was so beautiful that it made me want to get hammered there every night. I sat on the bar stool and I ordered my beer from the girl bartender and she mentioned to me what a beautiful day it was and then she told me about the Kenny Chesney concert the next night and assured me it was going to be a good time. I told her it will be a good time, but that I had spent all my money on the Red Hot Chili Peppers. She acted impressed with that. I've never had a female bartender make that much small talk with me. She was a class babe. She had a butterfly tatoo on her tailbone that was highly visible. I love the tailbone tatoo. I'm thinking about making it a requirement in my dating of women. No tailbone tatoo, no JEDMAN. It is probably obvious that I tipped her a lot. After, I drank those 2 beers I was so full. I think my stomach has shrunk. I remember a day when I drank a lot more than that and ate Burger King afterward. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:36 AM

At the ball park, my place in the line up jacked one out of the park. I scored $8 in the quarter game, including a buck for theQUICK. theQUICK is the greatest. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:21 AM

I committed an incredible bonehead move the other day. It may be the biggest bonehead move of theJEDMAN's career. There was a storm outside and I was watching TV. Suddenly, the cable goes out. None of the channels worked except channel 3. I waited and waited for it to pop back on, but it never did. I even started reading a book as I waited. After a couple of hours, I went to another room checked the TV. It worked. I came back and checked the cable lines. Nothing appeared to be wrong. Then, it popped in my head to check the VCR. The power was on, so no wonder only channel 3 worked. I missed two hours of prime time TV coverage. How will I recover? The weird thing is the VCR remote was shut up in my desk. I barely even use the VCR anymore. I don't know how the power came on. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:18 AM

Wednesday, April 23, 2003

This blog tells you about the JOCO and the fiberglass world that is the JOCO. I read in the paper that there is an adult kickball league. KICKBALL played by adults in the JOCO. This is insane. They probably keep statistics and have individual trophies at the end of the season. Let's keep inventing sports until people in the JOCO find one that only people in the JOCO are good at.That's JOCO. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 5:52 PM

I almost brawled with a couple of mormons the other day. I was walking in through a neighborhood in the JOCO when I came upon a couple of mormons. They stop me and let me know what they were doing walking through the JOCO. I was polite and said that I was not interested and I didn't want to waste their time when they could be helping someone else. After I declined, they pressed the issue of their promulgation. I stood up and told them they had every right to promulgate, but when they push after the decline that is salesmenship. I feel that promulgation is ok, but salesmen ship is wrong. Religion is there for the taking. It should not be sold. I'm going to have to call up the Latterday Saints and take them down like I did Smoothie King. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 5:48 PM

I need to get out of the house, so lately I've been frequently the cooperate beverage place. Plus, I need to be out among the people to do research for the blog. Anyway, I got my cooperate beverage and sat in the arm chair in the store. As soon as I sat down and I opened my book( yeah, I know how to read), this worker descides to push vacuum the area around me. She moved all the furniture and cleaned and vacuumed in close proximity. She did everything except tell me to raise my feet. Now, I've been in retail and restaurant business in the past and this is a major customer service error. You just don't vacuum the floor that close to customers. You pick up and clean tables, but vacuuming is out of the question. I'm going to have to call up the cooperate beverage offices and take them down like I did to the smoothie king. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 5:36 PM

Friday, April 18, 2003

theQUICK reads the blog. Not only does he read the blog, but he reads the blog without being told. theQUICK supports the blog. The rest of you could learn a lot from theQUICK. Also, theQUICK comments on the blog. theQUICK loves the blog. theQUICK sends real emails. theQUICK is the greatest. I wish I had more friends like theQUICK. The positive energy that I get from theQUICK is enough to keep the blog going. I wish I could do more for theQUICK. I love theQUICK. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:47 AM

Wednesday, April 16, 2003

I was messing around with a couple of my clients the other day. We went outside to toss the football around. I sent this one client out deep. This client is kind of a pain, so as he was going out I tried to nail him with the nerf football in the back of the head. I tried to hit him but I missed. He would have loved it if I would have pegged him. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:27 PM

Tuesday, April 15, 2003

I know that one day between all the lower mortgage rates, porn, insurance, porn, free credit reports, and more porn, chain jokes and even more porn. I will actually receive a real email message from a real person. I know this will happen. I can hear this person breathing. It is going to happen. I can see the text in my mind right now. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:32 PM

Recently, in multiple states and with multiple people, I have seen many beer drinkers squeezing tons of limes into Coors Light draws. First of all this is a rotton cocktail choice. Second, there is really no reason to drink Coors Light post fraternity party going years when you could down 15 to 20 of them in a given night, puke and drink 5 more. People, step up to a better beer. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:23 PM

It has been warm lately. I have witnessed a couple of times already this spring season a fashion trend that I wish would have gone away long ago.. I've seen the dreaded skort on girls. The skirt in the front, shorts in the back look. Hot in the front and disappointing in the back. This is a devestating fashion choice for the leering man, such as myself. I hope this look goes away soon. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:16 PM

Sunday, April 13, 2003

There are a lot of houses in FIBERGLASS LAND that have big elaborate wooden decks all over the place. The funny thing is no one in the JOCO can tear themselves away from electonic devices to actually sit on them. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:15 PM

It is the new wave to hang out in book stores, buy nothing and drink $18 designer drinks. I've experienced this lately. Over several visits, I've almost read a whole book and I've only bought one $18 designer drink. I'm beating the system baby. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:13 PM

Saturday, April 12, 2003

TourJEDMAN was unattended today. No one came, but this confirmed my belief that no one actually reads the blog. That's OK. I still live on-line and I'm a giant in my own mind. My readers need to take advantage of these personel appearances. They won't happen all the time. You guys are missing out. Since I was by myself, I ate big chuncks of zucchini and read free newspapers. I witnessed this person ask for a water cup without buying anything. Then, she filled it up with soda. It was theft. After lunch, I kind of went through theJEDMAN's day of fun. I hit the driving range and thumped some balls. I'm not a golfer. I'm a hacker. I hacked that ball about 50 yards several times. Every tenth ball or so, I really get a good 200 plus yard straight drive, but most of the time I hook, slice or miss the ball completely. Next, I got in the batting cage. I couldn't hit the ball. I fouled off, popped up and went down swinging many times. I tried it left handed and I struck out several times. I'm going to have to hit the cage again. Then, I went to the park. I sat on the life guard chair on the beach. There were a lot of ducks swimming near the shore. They were lucky I was there to protect them. One went under once, I thought I was going to have to call headquarters, grab the life preserver, and run to save the duck. There might even be mouth to bill recessitation. Then, the duck surfaced on its own and it swam away. It was a close call. Later, I went stormtrooping along the shore. There were a lot of people's from other countries in the park today. Taking advantage of a nice day is good. It beats sitting around playing play station all day like a lot of americans do. Well, there will be another tourJEDMAN stop. It might be at the BURRITO KING. Details will follow. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:58 PM

Thursday, April 10, 2003

I'm huge. For about a month, I have been working out on my Chuck Norris Total Gym 1000 that I bought on ebay for $120. I've gained mass and my stabalizer muscles have really benefitted from the Chuck Norris Total Gym 1000. I've made a lot of strides to my fitness goals. Soon, I'll need a female person to oil me down for competitions. I think that I'm going to end my Bally membership. I make more excuses for not going than I actually go. I'm going to invest that $45 a month membership fee in a BOWFLEX to go along my Chuck Norris Total Gym 1000. With that combination of home professional quality fitness equipment, I might lose the rest of the girth. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:13 PM

Wednesday, April 09, 2003

It is theJEDMAN restaurant tour. theJEDMAN selects a metro eatery, date and time. theJEDMAN shows up in a rare public appearance. Catch theJEDMAN at STOP #1. Papa Keno's, Downtown Overland Park, Saturday, April 12, 2003 at 12:00 PM(noon).

.: posted by Jed 8:44 PM

Wednesday, April 02, 2003

I was walking on the nature trail through the suburbs. I passed a woman with a baby in a stroller and another young child. The young child walked over to the creek next to the trail. There was a high embankment up above the creek. The mom said don't get too close. The kid walked right to the edge. So, what do you think happened next?

THE CHOICES:

A. The kid falls in. The mom screams, "Save my baby." theJEDMAN jumps in and rescues the kid.
B. theJEDMAN yells, "JUMP. JUMP."
C. theJEDMAN walks by and says nothing.

.: posted by Jed 8:32 PM

THIS ONE IS NO GOOD. DON'T READ IT. The other day I went on one of my nature walks through suburbs. I walked for two hours. I passed one of those cooperate coffee places on the way and I stopped in. I ordered the decaf of the day and took a seat on the easy chair. I read one of those free newpapers. I sipped my decaf. I started to think, man I make fun of people that do this. I'm being pretentious. but no one was looking at me. If no one looks can it be pretentious? I think not. I slammed my coffee, burned my tongue and got the hell out of there. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:22 PM

Monday, March 31, 2003

I got to hang with theQUICK last weekend. theQUICK is the greatest. theQUICK is the best. Any day hanging with theQUICK is a good day. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 6:01 PM

I broke out my cap for the opening ball game. I hadn't worn it since last season. It fit looser and a lot better than last season. This confirms the fact that I've lost weight in my head. My head is smaller. My head has less mass. My head has less circumference.I'm less of a fat head now, than I used to be. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 5:58 PM

Sunday, March 30, 2003

I don't eat hardly any fried food anymore, but the other day I put down a breast, wing and leg from the coronal. It sat in my stomach like a rock. Later, I was watching the Hawks at a club. My stomach got so queasy that I thought I was going to evacuate druing the tense part of the game. I ended up being ok. Later, I was taken to the velvet room. The velvet room is where all the beautiful people go in the JOCO. I always think I'm a snob, until I go to a place like the velvet room. I even danced with a chick to the beat of the funk band. I was awesome on the dance floor. Chicks were staring at me and the total package that is theJEDMAN. I drank a few beers, then Sasha brought me a pitcher of water, because I have to drink a lot of water. At the end of the evening a chick gave me a ride home. She slowed down long enough for me to jump out of her car safely. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 1:36 PM

Wednesday, March 26, 2003

I'm single. I have no wife or girlfriend. When I'm out about the town, I look at girls all the time. At times the people I'm with will point out girls to me that I've already checked out. When they do this they always say, "just helping you out." "Just helping you out" is what they say.Usually the girls they point out are either really young and wearing body glitter, or they are some really tough lookiing broads that scare me. They're, "just helping me out." I can look at girls and not talk to them by myself. I don't really need anyone pointing out girls to me, because I've already checked them out and I have not talked to them. If you really want to, "just help me out." Introduce me to some girls that fit theJEDMAN's criteria: intelligent, pretty, professional, 30-40, limited baggage, not too tall, etc. I think Shakira will fit these requieremnts. Introduce her to me. I'm the love that she doessn't know exits. She's being cheated out of love that she doesn't know about. That is the real travesty. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:56 PM

I went to Arizona last weekend with old people. If you go to Arizona in the winter time you have to go with old people, because it is the law. We stayed in Scottsdale with the beautiful people and there were a lot of beautiful people walking around. I fit in pretty well. Plus, I love the desert. It is great. I love cacti. They're so prickley. I saw three baseball games, Royals-A's, Cubs-Giants, Mariners-A's. It was fun. I don't like watching baseball on TV. I only like watching it at the game. These spring training stadiums were great. They have a grass berm in the outfield that people sit on blankets to watch the game. I walked out there from my premium seating everygame to view a prized social phenonmena: HOT DRUNK SUNBATHING GIRLS. There were plenty of HOT DRUNK SUN-BATHING GIRLS, expecially at the Cubs-Giants game. It was great. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:44 PM

Sunday, March 16, 2003

The OVERLAND PARK STREETFIGHTER

Tonights episode: COOPERATE COFFEE IS UNFORTUNATE

(OP Streetfighter is walking around some curbs and landscaping in front of a strip mall when he meets two young ladies).

GIRL #1: Hey, Overland Park Streetfighter come and get grande skinny decaf vanilla lattes with us.

OVERLAND PARK STREETFIGHTER: Not that coffee girls. It is too cooperate for me.

GIRL #2: Please, you get to be with us.

(White baseball cap doofus enters)

WHITE BASEBALL CAP DOOFUS: Hey Streetfighter. You love the curbs and landscaping, but you don't like cooperate coffee.

OPS: That's right.

WBCD: You can't have it both ways Streetfighter. Curbs and cooperate coffee go together.

OPS: I'll take my curbs, but cooperate coffee is unfortunate.

WBCD: Bring it on Streetfighter.

OPS: Allright, You've had it pal.

(OPS grabs WBCD and throws him into a berm. WBCD gets up staggers and then trips over a curb. He takes off running)

G#1andG#2: Come with us. Come with us now Overland Park Streetfighter.

OPS: Not now girls. I have to teach White Baseball Cap Doofus a lesson.

(OPS takes off running after WBCD)

G#1: I don't know how or when, but I'm going to get the Overland Park Streetfighter and make him mine.

.: posted by Jed 7:26 PM

Saturday, March 15, 2003

I was walking on a trail in a Missouri lake/recreation area the other day after work. I walked out for 30 minutes and then walked back. On the way back, I could see the parking lot and some guy was sitting on my car. He appeared to be and older man. I was thinking, "What is that old man doing sitting on the GOLDEN JOCO RETRIEVER." I got closer and closer and the guy was still sitting on the GOLDEN JOCO RETRIEVER. I thought, "Man, I might have to kick some butt." This is a scary proposition because I'm not really very tough and we are far from out fiberglass JOCO world.There are no curbs and landscapring here. I don't feel strong without my curbs and landscaping. Curbs and landscaping give me power. They are like Popeye's spinach for me or Superman's phone booth. I kept getting closer and the guy didn't move. Then suddenly a consusion bomb went off in my head. He was not sitting on my car at all. It was a pick up that had a nose that looked like mine. My car was parked several cars down the row. It was a good thing because someone would have got is butt kicked and it probably would have been me. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 5:01 PM

This entry is unfortunate. DON"T READ IT. I've been walking a lot. I went on a 90 minute walk this morning on the trail winds through the fiiberglass world of the JOCO. I was "somewhere between the bright lights and the far unlit unknown". Even though I was experiencing a lot of nature on my walk( I love nature by the way), the closeby fiberglass world of the JOCO, could not "sooth my restless dreams of youth." I don't know where I'm going with this. I just wanted to use the word FIBERGLASS again. I used to use that word all the time in the late 80's.theJEDMAN By the way, credit should be given to the canadian power trio that I ripped off for the quotes. I used to listen to them a lot 20 years ago, even though they didn't have one song about a chick. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 4:46 PM

Friday, March 14, 2003

A lot of my fans like to hear stories about theJEDMAN and chicks. So, by popular demand, here is a story. A few years ago, when I lived in Lawrence, I got be with an older european cosmopolitan beautiful woman. She was really great. Well, she is really great. She just lives too damn far away now. Anyway, I used to go out with her and hang out with theBARCELONA BAD BOY The beautiful european cosmopolitan woman would want to go home at midnight like a normal person, but I would always hang out drinking with theBARCELONA BAD BOY until you had to go home. This is no slight to the BARCELONA BAD BOY. No one was more fun from 1985-1995 than theBARCELONA BAD BOY. At that time, theBARCELONA BAD BOY was "theFUN." 1985-1995 was the golden age of theBARCELONA BAD BOY. So, many nights I drank in cheap Lawrence bars looking at drunk hot underage sorority girls with theBARCELONA BAD BOY, when I could have been spending extra time with the beautiful older european cosmopolitan woman. This was not a class move by theJEDMAN. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 5:37 PM

Thursday, March 13, 2003

Last weekend, I had an opportunity to get $18 fiberglass coffees with a somewhat fabulous woman. When she called me to tell me she was home and to tell me she free the rest of the afternoon, I said this, in classic JEDMAN style, "I'm watching the basketball game." Instead of saying I'll be right down there. I said, "I'm watching the basketball game." Instead of saying what time are we meeting. I said, "I'm watching the basketball game." Instead of saying, where do I go, I'll be there in 10 minutes. I said, "I'm watching the basketball game." It was an impressive and class move by theJEDMAN. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:12 PM

Wednesday, March 12, 2003

I just got done going to the bathroom at one of my buildings. I was walking down the hall when I looked at my feet and a dryer sheet was hanging out of my pant leg. No one saw me, so I don't get the glory associated with that. However, it is still embarrassing in two areas. First, the obvious of having the dryer sheet hanging out of my pants is bad enough. On the other hand, having access to dryer sheets and using them is more embarrassing for the manly JEDMAN. It is catagorically much worse. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 6:52 PM

Sunday, March 09, 2003

This is great. Keep reading. I was going to do some laundry. I gathered it up and took it to the laundry room and put it in the machine. Then I was hanging around for a few minutes. Suddenly, I went in to check on my wash and the washer was empty, but the dryer was running. I opened the dryer and I had put my dirty dry cloths in the dryer, instead of where they should go in the washer. It was the ultimate bonehead move of my life. I was in the middle of nimrodarama. It has to be a record. There can't have been someone else in the history of large home appliances that could have possibly done such a feat. I'm the record holder. I'm the greatest. I'm theJEDMAN. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 1:41 PM

Thursday, March 06, 2003

It has taken me 3 years, but I finally figured out a name for my motor vehicle. "The GOLDEN JOCO RETRIEVER." Here comes theJEDMAN in the GODLEN JOCO RETRIEVER. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:00 PM

I probably look like a dork, but I wear ball caps in the winter. The dome just can't take that slicing winter windchill. I've noticed lately the hats in my rotation have been fitting a little looser and I haven't adjusted them at all. Therefore, I've lost fat off of my head. I'm not as big a fat head as I used to be. This is a triumphant moment for theJEDMAN. I've dropped over 30 pounds in the last 2 years. This is good for me except that my head was looking bigger and bigger. I'm like an overgrown cartoon character. Now, my dome is getting smaller. With this head downsizing, I could be losing intelligence, but I'll take a loss of intelligence to have a head in proper porportion. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:58 PM

Monday, March 03, 2003

I was just walking through the park by the lake. I was minding my own business side-stepping the canadian geese debris on the asphalt trail. I guess I got a little to close to one of them and it freaked out. I guess I pissed off the wrong goose. This goose came after theJEDMAN. I tried to run. I tried to hide. I tried to run and hide, but this goose kept coming after me. Then, other geese joined the melee. There was pecking and hissing. There was hissing and pecking. It was a barage of water fowl coming after theJEDMAN. It was relentless. It was loud. It was painful. Then, if this wasn't enough, here come the ducks. The ducks pecked, bit and chewed the flesh of theJEDMAN. theJEDMAN was bloodied and bruised. theJEDMAN was devestated and crushed. However, theJEDMAN is a survivor. theJEDMAN overcomes. He is theJEDMAN. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:24 PM

Saturday, February 22, 2003

ONE HUNDRED NINETY-NINE naked! Enough said. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 4:43 PM

Monday, February 17, 2003

There are these two women older than me that are always at the workout facility everytime I go. I don't go that often, so they must go a lot. They are there when I get there. They are there when I leave. They look like they do some work to look good before they go to the workout facility. Anyway, I saw them at the warehouse membership club snack bar eating big sundaes. I bet they worked out for 3 hours that morning. That is dedication. That's JOCO. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:17 PM

I caught myself watching Dr. Phil the other day. I had watched for 10 minutes. It made me want to punch myself in the face. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:04 PM

Saturday, February 15, 2003

I was in this private school last week and I walked through the cafeteria. Man, I never saw so many soda machines in all my life. There were probably 10 of them lined up against the wall selling the 2.5 serving size contour bottle. Every school I go into has several soda machines. It is bad when carmel colored surgar water is needed to bring needed funds to the school. Even the so-called fruit drinks have deadly amounts of sugar. I used to partake in these sodas. I was spending $5 a week on 200 calorie death bombs of sugar that just made me feel like crap. I just drink designer water now. Well, I put tap water in the designer water bottle. So, there is an illusion that I'm sophisticated which is better than actually being sophisticated. Anyway, I love how education is putting young people in an early diabetic fury by making money off stuffing kids with 400 grams of sugar as they drink soda after soda after soda. Think about it. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:52 AM

I did another stint as public address announcer at the basketball game. This time it was winter homecoming. So, I got to announce all the candidates and the winners. It was hectic.There were changes during the ceremony and had people talking to me while I was announcing. I was quick on my feet. I only stumbled a couple of times. I was aweome. This is a career move for me. I'll be getting offers from the four letter network soon or maybe even Lifetime or the WE network. At the end of the game, two of my kids showed up, so I went up to the winter homecoming dance with them for while. I better not do that again. Someone might think I'm sensitive or something. That goes against the creed of theJEDMAN. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:41 AM

Sunday, February 09, 2003

200 pounds! For the first time since probably 1987, theJEDMAN tipped the scales at 200lbs on Saturday, naked in the gym locker room. It is quite a feat for theJEDMAN, since he was over 230 the whole decade of the 90s. Jed Mann's championship workout is paying off. I've been lifting regularly for a few months now and I do a lot of walking and bike riding. I'm becoming very dangerous. My body is rippled with muscle. There will be book and workout tape offers in theJEDMAN's future. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 6:56 PM

Thursday, January 30, 2003

This is an old one, but it is pretty good. I found it in a file the other day. I didn't live in Overland Park at the time, but you can see how I yearned for Overland Park.I hope you enjoy it. theJEDMAN

I only party in Overland Park.
Images race through my mind of Overland Park.
From the velocities on concrete,
to the curbs and landscaping, to
the fiberglass.
I am Overland Park.
Although now my travels have led me far away to other states.
Visions of Overland Park still run through my mind.
I lived in Overland Park.
I worked in Overland Park.
I went to movies by myself in Overland Park.
I went to Tanner's by myself in Overland Park.
I saw Iron Maiden by myself not in Overland Park.
One day I will return to Overland Park.
Until then, I only party in Overland Park.

.: posted by Jed 8:51 PM